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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She drank my fucking CHAMPAGNE!!!

154 replies

user47 · 11/10/2024 20:33

This morning I was given 1/2 a bottle of Bollinger by a grateful client. Tonight I am home alone which is a very rare treat. I chilled it, poured myself a lovely glass and when I returned from a badly timed wee, I saw my cat - tongue right in there!

AIBU to pretend I did not see that she put the tongue she cleans her ass with in the Champagne?

YABU throw it away - there is a glass left to enjoy anyway you filthy animal
YANBU go on, drink it 😳drink both

OP posts:
Namechangedforthis25 · 12/10/2024 21:02

LyingPaintSample · 11/10/2024 22:30

The fox poo bluebs (pooeubs?!) thing has to be pretend . Please tell me it's pretend

Because if it's not pretend, that means a real person has decided (for the sake of between £1.75 and approx £4 worth of berries), to imbibe the multitudinous germs and bacteria and STANK of a liquidy fox shit.. from foxes that are known for eating rubbish, dead things, cat shit, rotting seagulls, old socks, rotten eggs. They are also not known for toddling to the vets and buying worming tablets.

I mean, I'm gross, I'll sometimes let the dog take a bite off my croissant if she keeps her greasy lips drawn back politely.

But.. but..Merrily sluicing off the virulent mocha liquid from a wild fox's anus and deigning to put the berries in your mouth and eat them?! To wilfully introduce bio warfare hell to your actual physiology?!

Your genetic lineage has survived and evolved since the first thing that crawled out of the primordial ooze, all those millions of years of evolution and hundreds of thousands of years of proto-human/modern human lineage that have made wise choices in survival to end up eventually producing you, at trillion to one odds.... Those brave ancestors who developed instincts and mitigated risks so that you could eventually live..

And this is how you repay them?! By eating a substance more disgusting than the juice that drips out of the bin lorry?! Worse than a public sanitary bin?! More disgusting than the crusts in the corners of a dying vulture's eyes?! Please tell me it was pretend

What a response. Poor @Sayoonara - you are fine which is what matters

i woukdn’t have drunk the champagne. But I know op did and is hopefully fine without workers tomorrow

Bernardo1 · 12/10/2024 21:13

Serious doubt a feline would drink wine.
More likely to just knock the class over.

MyTherapistSaidImAnAdult · 13/10/2024 01:02

user47 · 11/10/2024 20:33

This morning I was given 1/2 a bottle of Bollinger by a grateful client. Tonight I am home alone which is a very rare treat. I chilled it, poured myself a lovely glass and when I returned from a badly timed wee, I saw my cat - tongue right in there!

AIBU to pretend I did not see that she put the tongue she cleans her ass with in the Champagne?

YABU throw it away - there is a glass left to enjoy anyway you filthy animal
YANBU go on, drink it 😳drink both

Your cat is being unreasonable. Get a dog. That'll teach her!

Also... half a bottle? Not that grateful... drink it all.

SmokeyToo · 13/10/2024 02:55

I'd drink it, no questions asked! But then, I let my cats kiss me on the mouth and I kiss them on their nosies too. Been doing it all my life and have no plans to stop - I'm probably a breeding ground for toxoplasmosis, but I really don't care!

Wick55 · 13/10/2024 07:32

Before I had a baby and cared less about germs it had been known for me to let me dog lick my ice cream midway. I know that’s absolutely foul. So yes I would drink it 😂

DoorOpening · 13/10/2024 07:45

My MIL got angry at me once because I threw away some raspberries that I had accidentally dropped on the floor where there were drops of blood from her dog being on heat. 🤮🤮🤮

So I can guarantee she would have merrily chomped on @Sayoonara ’s blueberries and washed them down with the OP’s champagne— and she is hale and hearty at 85 years old.

charlieinthehaystack · 13/10/2024 09:39

normal in our house not champagne but dogs and cat helping themselves to whatever they see and fancy. thus in our house its like a race when you cook or pour anything get it down you before they spot it!

CrumbleintheJungle · 13/10/2024 09:42

OrwellianTimes · 11/10/2024 20:52

They grow on shrubs as tall as adult humans, not on fox poo.

Edited
Show quote history

The shrubs are usually ankle/shin height!

stopthepigeonstopthepigeon · 13/10/2024 09:43

I would be able to bring myself to drink it.
I’d be so cross 😫

Why is a cat drinking fecking champagne?

Fleur240 · 13/10/2024 09:47

Sayoonara · 11/10/2024 20:45

I'd drink it, but my gauge for 'waste not want not' when it comes to bacteria is seriously skewed.

I dropped an expensive packet of blueberries face down in fox diarrhoea a few days ago. The packet had those little 'air holes' so the poo would have touched a couple of berries. Instead of being a normal person and chucking the whole lot, I decanted the berries into a sieve and poured boiling water over them, and then rinsed and soaked them.

I ate half and then got totally horrified at myself and chucked the rest.

Think I was just a little bit sick 🤢 Just the smell of fox poo would be enough to put me off!

GMV42 · 13/10/2024 10:35

There isn’t much that would make me ditch my glass of Bolli - my favourite!

PlantDoctor · 13/10/2024 10:41

Sayoonara · 11/10/2024 20:45

I'd drink it, but my gauge for 'waste not want not' when it comes to bacteria is seriously skewed.

I dropped an expensive packet of blueberries face down in fox diarrhoea a few days ago. The packet had those little 'air holes' so the poo would have touched a couple of berries. Instead of being a normal person and chucking the whole lot, I decanted the berries into a sieve and poured boiling water over them, and then rinsed and soaked them.

I ate half and then got totally horrified at myself and chucked the rest.

That's waaaay too far for me, and I'm usually not too precious! 😂

SeeTheWorldAnotherWay · 13/10/2024 10:41

This made me chuckle! Hope you enjoyed your bubbles as much as the cat did 🥂😂

EmmaEmEmz · 13/10/2024 10:53

My dog wakes me up every morning by giving me a big juicy snog. Tongues and all. I've seen where else that tongue goes....I'm alive.

Drink the champagne

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 13/10/2024 11:14

Sayoonara · 11/10/2024 20:45

I'd drink it, but my gauge for 'waste not want not' when it comes to bacteria is seriously skewed.

I dropped an expensive packet of blueberries face down in fox diarrhoea a few days ago. The packet had those little 'air holes' so the poo would have touched a couple of berries. Instead of being a normal person and chucking the whole lot, I decanted the berries into a sieve and poured boiling water over them, and then rinsed and soaked them.

I ate half and then got totally horrified at myself and chucked the rest.

🤣🤣🤣

Charliecatpaws · 13/10/2024 11:30

Reminds me of the time one of our cats, a complete diva princess stood on the TV remote and changed channels and then started drinking my mint vodka, I'm sure the channel change was a distraction 🤦🏼‍♀️

I'd drink the champagne

Wingingit247 · 13/10/2024 16:28

100% drink it, it would be sacrilege to let it go over a minuscule amount of cat spit 🤣

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 13/10/2024 17:11

Our living room at the moment.

She drank my fucking CHAMPAGNE!!!
MageraofCthulik · 13/10/2024 20:29

One of my cats is rather partial to my mug of tea. I walk out of living
room. I hear lapping. Do I drink the tea when I can hear it? Hells yea.

Cheeky bitch even looks at me as if to say
"I've have had my tongue in there"

Me: don't give a flying.

😂

AlleycatMarie · 13/10/2024 20:50

I would definitely have drunk it. Can’t waste Bolly! Plus, my cat often eats off my plate as I’m eating!

herniated · 13/10/2024 22:15

Do people really think cats mouths are antiseptic? My god they're rancid full of bacteria, but op the alcohol would've killed any cat bum hopefully 🦠

sweetpickle2 · 13/10/2024 22:21

There’s no way that’s the first time your cat has had her gob in your drink it’s just the first time you’ve caught her, and you’ve lived until now. Drink the champers.

mealienpleasehelp · 13/10/2024 23:03

LyingPaintSample · 11/10/2024 22:30

The fox poo bluebs (pooeubs?!) thing has to be pretend . Please tell me it's pretend

Because if it's not pretend, that means a real person has decided (for the sake of between £1.75 and approx £4 worth of berries), to imbibe the multitudinous germs and bacteria and STANK of a liquidy fox shit.. from foxes that are known for eating rubbish, dead things, cat shit, rotting seagulls, old socks, rotten eggs. They are also not known for toddling to the vets and buying worming tablets.

I mean, I'm gross, I'll sometimes let the dog take a bite off my croissant if she keeps her greasy lips drawn back politely.

But.. but..Merrily sluicing off the virulent mocha liquid from a wild fox's anus and deigning to put the berries in your mouth and eat them?! To wilfully introduce bio warfare hell to your actual physiology?!

Your genetic lineage has survived and evolved since the first thing that crawled out of the primordial ooze, all those millions of years of evolution and hundreds of thousands of years of proto-human/modern human lineage that have made wise choices in survival to end up eventually producing you, at trillion to one odds.... Those brave ancestors who developed instincts and mitigated risks so that you could eventually live..

And this is how you repay them?! By eating a substance more disgusting than the juice that drips out of the bin lorry?! Worse than a public sanitary bin?! More disgusting than the crusts in the corners of a dying vulture's eyes?! Please tell me it was pretend

🤣😂🤣😂👏👏👏👏👏😂😂😂

TroysMammy · 13/10/2024 23:11

When a kitten my cat stole the last piece of buttered malt loaf from my plate and took it to his food bowl to eat. I retrieved it and ate it. No way was he getting it.

OrwellianTimes · 14/10/2024 09:29

CrumbleintheJungle · 13/10/2024 09:42

The shrubs are usually ankle/shin height!

Show quote history

If you grow them in your garden, sure. But not commercially grown shrubs in hotter countries - where all our shop bought blueberries come from.

Your shop bought blueberries do not sit growing in fox poo. Yes sure there’s a chance a fox might poo near them, but that’s in now way even close in terms of probability of nasty bacteria as a box of blueberries sat on actual fox poo. The two scenarios aren’t even comparable in term or risk of exposure to nasty bacteria.