She drank my fucking CHAMPAGNE!!!

[user47]

This morning I was given 1/2 a bottle of Bollinger by a grateful client. Tonight I am home alone which is a very rare treat. I chilled it, poured myself a lovely glass and when I returned from a badly timed wee, I saw my cat - tongue right in there!

AIBU to pretend I did not see that she put the tongue she cleans her ass with in the Champagne?

YABU throw it away - there is a glass left to enjoy anyway you filthy animal
YANBU go on, drink it 😳drink both

I made this mistake with caviar and foie gras with my cat... now she won't eat anything else. Costing me a fortune!

Yes to cat champagne, no to fox poo berries!

Oh dear. How long have you had the cat, because it will be the same. I only discovered after five years that my previous cat had a habit of licking the butter if it was left out... But no fox berries, so that's OK.

Yep. I now put a short, wide glass of water by my bed for Madam to slurp after realising she was raiding my night-time glass... I have a tall, thin glass that she can't get her face into (though not for want of trying). It is a system that works for us.

Are cats tongues not sterile? I’d still drink it. Well I wouldn’t as I don’t drink, but in theory

Oh god no don’t. I ended up in A&E once with the worst case of the shits and pukes doing something similiar 🤢

Omg that’s so vile 🫣!!!! Weren’t they mushy after boiling water, assuming you actually washed them properly??

Snap! It took me far too long to realise I wasn't the only one drinking my glass of water through the night!

I could walk in on the cat pissing into my Bolly and I’d still throw it down my gullet for that lovely champagne feeling that I’m a highly classy laydee and all is right in the world.

😂

Sounds positively life enhancing to me, sharing fizz with your darling cat 🐈

I’d still drink the champagne.

Would draw a line at fox poo blueberries though 🤢

This is something mine would 100% do. Not secretly either - they’d stare directly at me while they did it #expensivetastes.

May I introduce you to Cat Wine… 🍷 (no I don’t buy cat wine, I do occasionally treat my furry overlords to that fancy Sheba soup or some cat milk though)

www.petplanet.co.uk/p32300/pawsecco_pet_house_wine_for_cats_and_dogs_250ml.aspx

🤣 what were you thinking?

Sip it. I know you want to.

@Sayoonara I do not even have words for this 🤢
Actually yes I do utterly vile 🤮🤮

Yeah I imagined a cat dining on a mouse before washing it down with a bit of Bollinger.

They can be as tall as adult humans but my children managed to pick them as preschoolers so they aren't all that tall. Definitely in the sheep poo region.

We have two blueberry bushes in pots. They are only about two feet tall.

I remember one Christmas when I was a child. Mum had got the turkey out of the freezer on about the 22nd to defrost. On Christmas Eve morning when we came downstairs we found the cat had been chewing on the rear end.

Obviously Mum was horrified and the cat banished outside. When she had calmed down (mum, not the cat) she cut off the obviously chewed bits and then we were sworn to secrecy. The turkey was cooked the next day and served to the rest of the visiting family. No harm done.

Drink that champagne and don't think twice!

.

God I stopped caring what my cat may or may not have licked around the same time I got her and I’m still alive many years later 😂
That doesn’t mean I knowingly LET her but honestly, I can’t see the harm her taking a tiny sip of bubbles will do you. Her, on the other hand 😬

The fox poo bluebs (pooeubs?!) thing has to be pretend . Please tell me it's pretend

Because if it's not pretend, that means a real person has decided (for the sake of between £1.75 and approx £4 worth of berries), to imbibe the multitudinous germs and bacteria and STANK of a liquidy fox shit.. from foxes that are known for eating rubbish, dead things, cat shit, rotting seagulls, old socks, rotten eggs. They are also not known for toddling to the vets and buying worming tablets.

I mean, I'm gross, I'll sometimes let the dog take a bite off my croissant if she keeps her greasy lips drawn back politely.

But.. but..Merrily sluicing off the virulent mocha liquid from a wild fox's anus and deigning to put the berries in your mouth and eat them?! To wilfully introduce bio warfare hell to your actual physiology?!

Your genetic lineage has survived and evolved since the first thing that crawled out of the primordial ooze, all those millions of years of evolution and hundreds of thousands of years of proto-human/modern human lineage that have made wise choices in survival to end up eventually producing you, at trillion to one odds.... Those brave ancestors who developed instincts and mitigated risks so that you could eventually live..

And this is how you repay them?! By eating a substance more disgusting than the juice that drips out of the bin lorry?! Worse than a public sanitary bin?! More disgusting than the crusts in the corners of a dying vulture's eyes?! Please tell me it was pretend

I’ve clearly been frequenting the “difficult in-law” side of Mumsnet a bit too much as I automatically assumed this was about a MIL. When I got to the part about you seeing her cleaning her arse with her tongue I was poised to type a “you have WAY bigger problems than contaminated champagne” response! I must be tired.

Back in the real world… sorry to hear about your champagne! What a cheeky moggy. I bet she’s a cutie though. Just as well!

”I’ll have the Mouse tartare with a glass of Bollinger, Tiddles dahhhhling”