Is this signs of grooming creepy uncle

[Ladybug85789]

Children’s uncle from their dads side. He is in 40s never had a girlfriend addicted to porn, unemployed for the last few years. Whenever uncle sees nephews (age 8 and 4) is constantly asking for hugs, for them
to sit next to him and on his lap. Pouts when they don’t, contstantly asks them to sit close to him even when they say no. play fights with them asks if they want to sleep in the bed with him. Stares at the children when they are sat in the room. When he was employed he spoilt them with lots of gifts randomly and constantly buying sweets etc. once was playing with 4 year old and uncle bit him on his cheek very hard left a mark child cried alot. Always messages to ask to see the children on FaceTime lives 2 hour drive away.
the Children have never shared a bed with him or been left alone with him as I find his behaviour odd and disturbing and I am uncomfortable around him. He is close to his niece his others brother child she is a teenager now she gets gifts from him and he private messages and calls her quite often.

I want to confront creepy uncle and say keep a distance from my children. (We see around 10 times a year and as he lives with children’s grandma the children stay over sometimes always with me)

Thoughts

Birthday parties Christmas etc but I just don’t want children to have any contact with him anymore. Anyway Thankyou for your replies i am going to speak to him today and tell him
to not call and that when his mum comes over he is not invited. Sometimes it is hard to tell what someone’s intentions are

I know this is too late, but you should have reported to the police after the biting.

Theres no way I'd have my kids around someone like that, even if he doesn't have bad intentions, he has no respect or care for personal boundaries by trying to force children to be physically close to him when they don't want to be. Keep him away.

You want to confront him?
I would want to beat the living daylights out of him 🤬
(Obviously I wouldn't)

Am shocked you need to ask tbh.

Keep your kids safe ffs.

The biting should have been reported to the police. Wtf wasn't it?

Sometimes it is hard to tell what someone’s intentions are
This is exactly the intention of the groomer, they are stealth predators.

Never mind what his intentions are or whether he is grooming your DC. Why on earth would you allow him to be around them knowing even half of what you know?

Woman up and get him out of their lives as of now.

Ok thanks for replies I won’t be replying to any more posts as I feel bad for not recognising signs earlier. Thankyou

It’s not every day it is only on occasions like I have said.

I would say listen to your gut feeling. What does it tell you. If you're feeling strong warning signs then listen to it.

Protect your children and empower them to protect their boundaries.

I have no wish to make you feel bad. But seriously, read your OP. This man should not be around your children.

You and your ex’s family sound really odd.

saying that, always follow your intuition.

What does grandma say about his behaviour?

My kids would never go near him and I'd tell all the family that.
If creepy uncle is at any occasion don't attend and let family know why. Don't pander to it jeez

thankyou for the lovely comment im
sure you are very odd also. Tbh a lot of
you on mumsnet attack the person when asking a question it’s very odd behaviour. People reach out for support not to be attacked

You're a pushover? You hate conflict? So, because of that, you allow your children to potentially be abused and abused in plain sight? Get a grip, Op. These are your children, your job is to protect them. An adult bit your child on the face and you continue to see him? Most people would have gone ballistic over that and then nc after that. I can't believe the amount of weak mothers who are come on here asking strangers if the most abusive behaviour is normal /acceptable and can't put their children first.

Is there a way of reporting concerns about what things he might be watching / viewing? I have a feeling there is a way to report or raise suspicions about potential abusers anonymously. From a safeguarding perspective this could protect not only your children but others (inc his older niece) too.

sorry you feel attacked. I didn’t mean for you to feel that way but I think it is “odd” to allow your children to visit a character such as a “creepy uncle”

This sounds like grooming and I would make a Sarah’s Law application

The uncles behaviour is designed to confuse you OP. These types are careful to make sure they have a plausible explanation for everything they do, they ramp things up carefully when they can see that you are prepared to tolerate things. The fact that you have tolerated it makes you feel as if you are complicit and this makes it hard for you to complain.

He sounds like a pervert. Don’t make excuses or feel you have to be polite - these are your children and they have only you to protect them.

He’s your exes brother, not yours. Better cut him out unnecessarily than let your guard down and have your kids abused by him. Cut him out. Now - he’s already done more than enough to justify it.

@Ladybug85789 tahts what they want you to think. He leaves it running with the phone out on the table…. How does an 11year old watch it without supervision of an adults phone?
Yoi have and are being groomed as well to allow this to happen. People aren’t having a go they are just trying to help you break out of that and see how so so much of this is wrong and you’ve been groomed as well. This is what they do. Your children are seeing that mum allows this behaviour she is seeing so it must be allowed to feel uncomfortable around uncle as mum is watching and doesn’t stop it. Then worse happens when you are not there and their brains are hard wired that this must be ok

What have I just read?

YES you keep the dc away from this man!

I’m not sure what beating up the OP is supposed to do, other than make other women less likely to want to reach out for help. A lot of women grew up in shit conditions and their radar is broken as a result, as well as the families normalising this type of behaviour and defending the men involved. She’s come here for help, and thankfully other PPs have been more helpful.