To not have patience for people who act selfishly and then try to act remorseful

[godlovesatrierr]

E.g there's a big cake arriving which can all be cut in to slices and shared between a group of friends.
However one person sneakily puts in a pre order to have the whole cake for themselves regardless and this can't be reversed.
When the time comes for this to be revealed to their friends they act upset and remorseful even though they knew exactly in the moment they ordered the cake it would leave the rest of the group without.

I just don't have the patience to be empathetic. So now we all need to pander to you so you feel better about your selfishness?!

Why do people think they can have their cake and eat it?! Pun intended.

Why was no one else able to eat the cake?

Is the cake an analogy or something?

I can’t wrap my head around this situation at all? And I can’t see how it’s at all irreversible? Cake arrives, they act remorseful, you just then cut the cake for everyone as planned.

Yes the cake is an analogy .

Once it's been pre ordered it can't be shared.

Another one confused as to whether the cake is literal or metaphorical.

Just say what you mean and stop talking in metaphors

Well its a bad example, say what you mean because the item concerned makes a difference to the judgement

Sorry should have said it's a reflection of the situation however it's not that complicated to understand 😂

The point is if someone acts selfishly knowing full well at the time what it means for others, but then expect sympathy and pandering to when it comes to be revealed what they've done.

Say what you really mean, please

What sort of cake can only be shared if it's not pre ordered in a certain way? Better metaphor please OP!

What a ridiculous post! Pre-ordered cake.

Why can't you just give an actual example?

Ok let me think of another example ....

Do you mean a situation such as when one grandchild persuades her grandmother to give her her car shortly before she dies, when if she'd died with the car then it would have been sold and the money would have been split between all of the grandchildren?

I’m not sure if I’m just having a slow day or if the cake thing has just got me confused😂

Just say what the actual situation is

Think of a better analogy, because all everyone is thinking is why everyone didn't then just order more cake, and won't the person with an entire giant cake to themselves just feel sick after a couple of slices.

Are you saying that you have no patience with someone whose remorse is based on them being humiliated when they are found out for something?

This is double Dutch OP.

I'm also a bit bemused. I'm finding it hard to apply your analogy to anything else.

It would be far better if you simply described the scenario that has annoyed you and prompted this post.

I don't want to say the exact situation as it's quite fresh and current topic of convo and I feel like the people involved are likely to be mumsnetters

Regardless of the analogy, though, no one needs to pander to anyone over anything. It's perfectly possible to say 'Well, you knew exactly what you were doing, so don't expect sympathy from me about this stolen inheritance/cake-eating/whatever'. No one can make you empathise with someone, for any reason.

Everyone is missing the point and being picky on purpose. I agree with you OP.

Yes this is the main point!

They're still getting exactly what they want but trying to act like their sad they've done it and feel bad for evryone else who has missed out

Thanks

They aren't, you know. It's hard to understand because the cake analogy doesn't work.

My tired end-of-the-week-brain doesn't understand.

Please would you explain this a little more OP so we can offer our best advice.