To not have patience for people who act selfishly and then try to act remorseful

[godlovesatrierr]

E.g there's a big cake arriving which can all be cut in to slices and shared between a group of friends.
However one person sneakily puts in a pre order to have the whole cake for themselves regardless and this can't be reversed.
When the time comes for this to be revealed to their friends they act upset and remorseful even though they knew exactly in the moment they ordered the cake it would leave the rest of the group without.

I just don't have the patience to be empathetic. So now we all need to pander to you so you feel better about your selfishness?!

Why do people think they can have their cake and eat it?! Pun intended.

Yes a money example might be a better way to explain it.

There's 10,000 to split between 4 people, all expected to discuss this and figure out the best way to share it.
One person spends all the money and then when it gets found out they are crying etc ...

This reminds me of that bloody song about a cake being left out in the rain and I can never bake another one again or something

I hate that song, its ridiculous. Is that an analogy as well?

Really riles me up and now this thread has reminded me of it

Exactly! The cake thing isn’t people being picky, it just doesn’t make sense. Nobody, myself included, can wrap their heads around why a cake cannot be cut up if preordered or why one person would sit at eat an entire cake with a group if acting remorseful.

I’m sure the actual case makes sense but the cake thing just doesn’t.

OK, that's irritating, obviously, but even if they're wailing about how bad they feel, the choice is yours as to whether you go in all' There, there, don't cry, we still love you' or whether you say 'Yeah, sucks to be you -- I can't believe your gall in whining after you did X in the full knowledge you were disadvantaging us all. Maybe go and wail elsewhere before I assist you out the door with the toe of my shoe?'

Yeah the cake thing has really got me confused.

If you pre-ordered the cake and that meant that the cafe was out of the cake and you were really sorry could you not just cut up the cake and give out slices?

Ok, but in a type of example like that, no symapthy or pandering is needed, simply 'ok, you owe 7500 quid to the rest of us'

Yeah, I wouldn’t entertain tears etc in this situation or sympathy. I’d just send over my bank details and let them know what they owed.

Oh OK, I replied to the OP before reading this one. Thos makes sense.

Yeah I wouldn't have time for someone who did this. You can do things that you're sorry for if you don't always realise the implications or have misunderstood the situation but when you act knowing what would happen you can't then cry and act sorry when it all comes to light.

@soupfiend, thanks, now you have given me an earworm of

SOMEONE LEFT A CAKE OUT IN THE RAIN
I DON'T THINK THAT I CAN TAKE IT
'COS IT TOOK SO LONG TO BAKE IT
AND I'LL NEVER HAVE THAT RECIPE AGAIN
OH NO

(For anyone who doesn't know this wondrously mad song, it's 'MacArthur Park', first recorded by Richard 'First Dumbledore' Harris in the late 60s, and he sings about the destroyed cake as though it was the end of the world...

)

Yes, exactly. They may genuinely think they're entitled to sympathy, but it is your choice whether to give it to them. No one is compelled to 'pander' to anything.

Arrrrgghhhhhhh

I'll never have that recipe again!!!

What is he on for gods sake

(I bet theres a similar recipe on youtube Richard)

If you type out the lyrics to MacArthur Park, it’s very reminiscent of the sort of conversation you have with a drunk crying girl in the ladies loo towards the end of a wedding. And you just keep saying “oh dear, that doesn’t sound good” while keeping one eye on the door for the other girl you sent to get some water and track down crying girl’s other half to get her back to her hotel room…

And didnt poor Donna Summer get lumbered with it? Or was it Diana Ross?

I'm not sure I've ever come across this.

😂

Bloody ‘MacArthur Park’, he sings about a stripped pair of pants as well, as a British person that’s even weirder to me than it should be, I don’t want to know about his stripped under garments or ruined cake!

OP the money thing is a better example, and that person is clearly a twat, but this thread can only go so far unless you give us the exact scenario, otherwise there’s not a great deal to say, I’m sure Richard Harris and Donner Summer would agree!

I know what the op means.

Example. Person A bullies person B out of a hobby she loves. Person C offers to meet person B over coffee. Person A then goes and sits at the next table so she can hear what is being said and interrupts, talking over person B to stop her talking.

She then goes to the person in charge of the hobby and says how upset she is that these (true) things are being said and it's effecting her mental health.

Thus trying to turn herself into the victim.

And yes, she was bullying.

this. If they spent money that should have been shared then they pay back the people they have taken the money from. If they can't do it at once, then they do instalments till they have. But is it actually something that can be repaid?

Yes, exactly, Calm the fuck down, Richard. And if you go to the trouble of making a nice green-iced cake, leave it indoors! And yes, poor Donna Summer, though she doesn't sound anywhere near as anguished about all that sweet green icing melting down...

And yes, @FancyBiscuitsLevel -- that's pretty much exactly it. Some drunken madwoman from your table, whose name you don't even know, is having a nervous breakdown about the tier of the wedding cake that now looks like a car crash because the jam went all smooshy, and her dress keeps coming unzipped and no one knows who she is, so you can't even get the wedding band to put out an announcement 'Will Rachel's husband please retrieve her from the women's toilets and sober her up, because she's crying about cake?'

Blimey, this is more confusing than the cake example

@godmum56 it could be repaid eventually. But they've got to spend their money on everything they need right now so they're sorted.
Whilst the rest of us are left without, so even though it could be paid back it can't change the situation immediately.

But which one of them ate the cake? And which one of them spent the 10 grand kitty? And I'm going along with the assertion that eating someone else's cake is on a par with stealing 10 grand off them - cos I get that some folk really, really like cake.

So do you mean something like: Mum gives £1000 to her eldest daughter, telling her to split it between all of the children. There are four children, so each child should get £250. However, eldest daughter goes and buys a new handbag, which costs £1,000 and which can't be returned for a refund. Now eldest daughter is crying because she's spent everyone's money and she feels so guilty, but everyone else (who also need the money) want to rip her head off?

Oh god, this thread is like that conversation in the pub two hours after you really should have left.

You all sound like crazy drunks.

Yes, meanwhile she is still walking round loving her handbag