To not have patience for people who act selfishly and then try to act remorseful

[godlovesatrierr]

E.g there's a big cake arriving which can all be cut in to slices and shared between a group of friends.
However one person sneakily puts in a pre order to have the whole cake for themselves regardless and this can't be reversed.
When the time comes for this to be revealed to their friends they act upset and remorseful even though they knew exactly in the moment they ordered the cake it would leave the rest of the group without.

I just don't have the patience to be empathetic. So now we all need to pander to you so you feel better about your selfishness?!

Why do people think they can have their cake and eat it?! Pun intended.

Hahaha it's actually cheering me up and helping me out my rage, I just wanted to come on for a rant tbh . Everyone always wants the nitty gritty on here though

No but restorative approaches are always best, no emotion needed. You took the money, you give the money back, fairly simple

Its not really anyones business either but if the person never had the extra 7500 in the first place, they wouldnt be able to get a load of stuff to get themselves 'sorted' either, so perhaps some things need to be taken back for a refund, or not purchased at all, coming back to the other 3 people in dribs and drabs, or original first person takes out a loan or credit card or wathever

these are the consequences, no sympathy or pandering needed. Emotionless.

I initially thought it was holiday allowance. Someone has booked the whole of the school holidays off so noone else can have any but that would be your own fault for not booking what you want sooner or the employer's fault for not being fair about Christmas.
JUST TELL US THE ACTUAL SITUATION

Don't start me singing about cake.

OP, as I keep saying, you have a choice about how you respond to any behaviour. The person who has done whatever it is (cake? cash? whatever) that has injured you has no claim on your sympathies. Fundamentally, it's irrelevant if he or she is looking for sympathy for their guilt about whatever. You aren't obliged to give it, even if the other injured parties are falling over themselves to condole.

Has a thread ever taken such a turn?

I thought you meant it's like the bbc programme parole, where the person has committed an offence and then says they deserve to be released (you dont deserve it, you are merely eligible to have a hearing) . And then they balls it up after being so cocky.

You don't need to pander to the person but it's impossible to actual advise without the info.

I also really like MacArthur park as it reminds me of Ken Bruce on radio 2 as it was one of the long songs that he played after Popmaster (I assume for a toilet break). Now all I'm going to think about is the bloody cake (although I'd be annoyed if a cake I'd baked got left in the rain).

I quite enjoyed the turn. I'm writing something, and am totally stuck, so I like it when something online goes quietly mad and an analogy takes on a life of its own.

Woeful analogy

I love analogies so much and use them in every possible situation.

These cake and money analogies don’t deserve to be even described as analogies as they don’t flow or make sense.

But keep trying, OP! Maybe you’ll eventually stumble across something that people can understand.

They're certainly not that complicated. Are you ok?

Well like the money one. Your analogy is that someone stole money from others and spent it. Like, committed a crime and then cried about it later to get sympathy. Who would say “No I do think the person who stole money should get sympathy”?

I honestly don't think that I had ever heard of this song until I saw the new Beetlejuice movie last weekend and now here it is again!

In your first scenario your mate ate a cake, in your second she stole 10 grand 😂 One scenario is quite considerably more complicated than the other!

Whatever it actually is, my advice is be ready for her next time. Once bitten, twice shy and all that.

Oh I enjoy a turn, I cant stand it when people get irritated with a turn, thats what conversation is all about

Did the person who ate all the cake give a reason? Did they say the didn’t realise everyone else would miss out?

Perhaps her blood sugars were low?

Maybe she was making a heroic self-sacrifice to keep everyone else present on their calorie-controlled diets?

So in your analogy, is the person who spent all the money and is now remorseful getting any sympathy either from the people she has cheated or other people that know the situation?

They just love cake and wanted it all regardless

Sorry, this question was meant for OP.