If my son attends an ASD school….

[Redwineandcheeseplease01]

I am probably going to need to send my son to a mainstream primary with an ASD unit (autism/ADHD). Currently struggling on a heavily reduced timetable in mainstream reception class despite having an EHCP and 1:1.
I am digesting this realisation and I just want to know, do children and young people who attend specialist ASD schools go on to live full, happy, “typical” lives? Sorry if my question is moronic, my heads absolutely all over the place at the moment.

Thanks for your replies. I don’t really understand why school can’t meet his needs? Behaviour wise he is well behaved, isn’t aggressive etc, isn’t upset because it’s noisy etc, literally he is just hyperactive and will go for runs around and climb if allowed to, but this is why he has a 1:1, to ensure he is safe and not making a teacher or other classroom assistant leave the room to get him if he wanders off. But surely having things like movement breaks and sensory circuits would help manage this need to run? It’s very frustrating being told your child can’t possibly stay until lunchtime in case they’re overwhelmed or in case they just spend that time running around and being told to stop therefore making it a negative experience for them, when the obvious options of implementing his EHCP interventions designed to manage this type of behaviour aren’t being done.
Sorry what do you mean about mentioning the personal budget to school? (First time SEN mum here, still tons I don’t know!)

I’m also worried if I start mentioning the LA they will say sorry can’t meet his needs and then he’s left without a school or forced to go to one that isn’t right for him

I don’t think you need to be that worried about them kicking him out. I don’t have the full picture but I don’t think they’d have a leg to stand on if they haven’t been doing any of the interventions in the EHCP. Plus if you’re thinking about other options anyway, you’ve not got much to lose.

It’s difficult to say why they can’t meet his needs- you need to speak to the teacher and the LSA. It could be that he’s walking off, walking out of class and then getting distressed if they try to re-engage him. There’s only so much that a 1-1 can do. It could be that he’s fidgeting with stuff and/ or distracting other kids. It could be that he’s shouting out, or talking which means that the teacher can’t teach the class and then getting overwhelmed/ upset in class. Or if could be that he’s in danger, or putting others in danger. Often things that are manageable in a nursery or home setting become completely unmanageable where you’ve got a classroom of 30 kids, plus it’s not just childcare, the school are meant to be learning stuff. Plus his behaviours could be worse at school for the same reasons (sensory, loads of kids, being expected to engage in educational activities). Only school have the answers. But yes an EHCP and even a 1-1 still isn’t enough in some cases.

This is something that really annoys me. The ‘early intervention’ gets such an emphasis but where are these interventions? My son is a year younger than yours and we have had less than 6 hours of ‘intervention’. It’s usually an assessment followed by a report, then you as the parent pretty much have to be the occupational therapist, speech therapist, empath, parent, carer and everything else. It’s not doable, especially around working and the worry of paying bills. Surely they are making a rod for their own backs because at some point these children under ‘early intervention’ will have to be reasonably accommodated into the education system, and if they’ve not had enough intervention in the early years then there’s more chances they’re going to be costing the gov more money in the long run! Its exasperating. I really do feel you.

Well, at the moment he's in school 2 hours, they're not teaching him anything and they are (illegally) taking the 121 money as if he were a full time kid while not delivering any of his EHCP interventions. So that's not great and I really am not getting good vibes about the school.

Yes, I know, schools are under a lot of pressure. I get that the TA is probably doing useful work elsewhere. But this is not good enough. It feels very much as though they are planning to babysit him until yr 1 and then morally blackmail you into homeschooling him. In a nice polite head-tilty sort of way, but still fucking you over and damaging his future.

Special schools are very hard to get into. And not everywhere has the full range of them.

Alongside figuring out whether that's the right option you should be figuring out how to make mainstream work (because you may well be stuck with mainstream) and simultaneously building the evidence base that could open up special school as an option.

Here's some ideas. Hopefully others will have more.

Claim DLA, if you don't already. Opens doors and money useful.

Offer to supply stuff that might help to deliver interventions - wobble cushions, fidgets, books on emotional regulation, whatever. Can be surprisingly effective at unlocking support and worth a go.

Get - in writing - from the school the hours they let your son attend now and the plan for ramping that up both in terms of hours in and in terms of delivering interventions. This does two things a) it means you have evidence that mainstream can't meet need if you need that evidence and b) it pins the weaselly bastards down - (have I mentioned that I am not getting good vibes here?).

Go and look at other mainstream state primaries. Especially at ones that are undersubscribed, have a bad ofsted or are in a 'rough" area. Tell them about your son and ask if he'd suit a place. Demographics mean a lot of schools are struggling to fill places and you might be pleasantly surprised. You don't need to tell current school you are doing this. Can EHCP cash travel with him?

Slightly more aggressive: Ask school - in writing - to itemise what EHCP money is being spent on and how it is supposed to benefit your child. Bring in SENCO as well and head. Be persistent. If email isn't answered follow up a few days later.

If nothing is improving you might want to start bringing the head of children's services at your council into the conversation and/or making a subject access request to find out what they have written down privately about your kid.

They have to pay the private school fees, which are a lot more than the cost of a place at mainstream plus a TA.

I would get your sendiass team involved here. They will come to meetings with you and school and together you can go through the ehc plan and make sure it is being implemented.

The school is getting the funding for the ehc and the LA will expect them to use it as agreed in the ehc. If school won't budge you need to contact your case worker at the LA and call for an emergency review of the ehc, with the LA in attendance.

Some schools will be delighted to have a child with an ehc due to the extra funding but don't spend the money on the child as they have their own priorities. We had this re my daughter in year 6. The LA had given the school a lot of money for her ehc support - she was getting funding for a private provision the following year so it was a lot of money - but they didn't use any of it on her. Instead they used it for other students. I'm still so angry about that. I had such a run in with the head about it and I'm sure I got ptsd from the whole experience.

Anyway, you might also want to get specialist advice from ipsea or SOS!SEN or similar. And join local asd parenting groups. There could be schools a bit further away that would be ideal. My daughter went to a school in the next door LA to us.

Good luck.

I just want to say - not necessarily. DH works in SEND. The funding for one child he worked with was a staggering 20,000 per academic year. An EHCP may well pay for the majority of not all of the fees depending on the school fees of course. Many private schools are also registered charities and also take on a number of SEN children per year. My old school currently has 175 children under SEN. The one my child currently goes to has around 160. It means more funding for the school, even though it’s private. TA’s cost next to nothing in state unfortunately.

There are lots of private sen schools around, and these are extremely popular with parents but the fees are high.

The sen code of practice allows LAs to refuse a place at one of these schools if they feel that it's not a good use of money. Parents then have to appeal.

My daughter went to one of these schools. It had on site occupational therapists, speech and language therapists, tiny class sizes, a modified curriculum. It cost a fortune.

This is not the same as going to a general private school. The LA will rarely pay the fees - the parents do this and the LA pays for additional support, although that can be tricky ad state schools meet some of the costs out of their general sen budget, which is funded by the LA, and most private schools don't have this.

Really? They surprises me, never heard of that.

They pay private sen school fees. They won't normally pay for a standard private school. But there are private sen schools dotted about.

I have 2 ds with ADHD. My elder ds is more badly affected and he has tics both verbal and mechanical, lots of autistic and OCD traits too. When he was a child I used to worry so much about what he would be able to do as an adult. The consultant used to tell me he'd be ok and find his own place in the world but I thought he was just placating. My elder DS despite being bright did not get many qualifications from school but now he is a class 1 lorry driver. He's hard working and reliable. Each day he drives somewhere different and he likes that. My younger ds got medication from 6 whereas my elder DS didn't get medication or statement until he was 12. Getting medication and a statement from 6 made life so much easier for my younger ds. He did GCSE's and A levels and came out with decent grades. He has also passed a lorry driving test class 2 but he chooses to work in a warehouse. I blame myself for not getting elder DS medication sooner. He was offered it but his Dad and I had heard so many bad things about the meds we refused it for him until he was 12. My elder DS has never complained but his school work Improved dramatically after he had meds. I think if he had got them sooner he could have got better GCSE grades too. I'm so grateful they can both work. My elder DS is still very impulsive and spends his money very quickly and can't budget well. As adults neither DS takes meds for ADHD anymore. They both prefer to manage their conditions themselves through sport and music. You may not see a way through for them now but after adolescence conditions often calm a little. There will be something out there for him. He will find his own place in the world. All you can do is be supportive. Try not to spend years worrying about it like I did.

Really? My son is in specialist independent - 80 pupils all funded by EHCP. £70k a year.

My borough also fund some mainstream independent places where the school is appropriate.

I thought this was ‘normal’ as there’s such a shortage of places.

There is a local state provision which is very similar but they wouldn’t take my son for no discernible reason.

What’s they’re doing is illegal. Can you put in writing please can they be doing xyz (nicely) and then go higher up, do you have an autism advisor for your borough?

Be careful with SENDIASS. Some are good, but many are not. Many repeat the LA’s unlawful policies and practices. IPSEA and SOSSEN are better.

If the provision detailed, specified and quantified in F isn’t being provided, have you spoken to the LA? It is the LA who is ultimately responsible for ensuring it is provided. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use. If that doesn’t work, you need a pre-action letter. SOSSEN can help with that for free. There is a wait, so you might want to look elsewhere. If a pre-action letter doesn’t work, you will need to look at judicial review proceedings.

However, unfortunately, the provision can only be enforced if the wording is watertight. If it is vague or woolly with wording such as “access to”, “would benefit from”, “regular”, “up to”, “or equivalent”, “opportunities for”, “as appropriate”, “would be useful/helpful”, “such as”, “e.g.”, “etc.”, “as required”, “as advised”, “key adult(s)”… in this case, you would need an early review to tighten the wording up. You shouldn’t be scared of an early review.

If you want DS to attend full time, he can. The school is informally excluding him.

1:1s can be provided in units/bases/provisions even if the unit or LA tells you it can’t, but it would need to be in the EHCP. If it is inappropriate for provision to be made in a school, you could also look at EOTAS/EOTIS.

If the independent school (mainstream or specialist) is named in section I of an EHCP, the LA is responsible for the fees and special educational provision. The 2024 statistics show 6,768 EHCP pupils were in mainstream independents and 25,620 in independent special schools (this includes both s41 independents and wholly independents).

But are those kids with ehc plans in mainstream independents funded via the ehc? Some parents pay the fees and the LA pays for the additional support. Also, does this include nurseries?

Some DC in mainstream independent schools have the school named in section I and thus fees and SEP funded.

Some LAs will sometimes come to an arrangement whereby the parents pay the fees and the LA pays the SEP, but if the school is not named in section I the LA does not have to and many will not.

The figures include all at independent schools but it doesn’t not include non-maintained early years settings. They are listed separately.

why aren’t they implementing things like movement breaks and sensory circuits as per his EHCP then 😫

I worked in a number of schools that have had trained TA's, movement breaks and sensory circuits.
My experience of mainstream was that the children were more than happy to spend whole sessions doing these and very little got done in the classroom as they easily reverted to being disregulated.Effectively TA's were teaching them in other rooms with the odd 10 minutes of being settled in a lesson with a teacher. Children were then frustrated because increasingly they sensed the divide in work and cohesion.

The biggest improvements I saw have been from children who leave the pressure of mainstream in whatever capacity. Either special schools or interventions in the home ( where the practitioner takes them out, works with them holistically etc). Downside is that often they won't get the academic levels or a full range of subjects.

Also just growing up helps massively. Less overwhelming once they can manage their emotions better through age and experience. Colleges in particular are great at supporting ND and making friendships. I work in school now and I'd say at least half of the staff have a diagnosis themselves. They are proud of their lives and achievements even if they aren't overtly happy.

My son is in his 20’s he went to mainstream until year 2 then on to a special primary school, special secondary school and then a specialist college until 23. He doesn’t and never will live independently but he does have a very full and active life. He needs 1:1 support at all times but it doesn’t stop him being happy or stop him enjoying life.

My son started In a asd base from reception im septemebr and unfortunately they've turned out to be worse than the mainstream nursery he was in (theybwere amazng and he did the very best fir him ) based in the same school. He has a full time placement in asd base unit which. Can be so hard to get a place in ( he was so lucky) and they only let him In for hours 9-11 when its ment to be till 2.30 iv asked for 15 mins to be added on so he can get used to it and they've refused also, I k now alot of people have amazing g story and most asd base unit in schools are amazing , how ever my sons is a new base and sometime it's seems it just to much for them all together and they take it out on him as he the youngest and is non Verbal and they havnt got the time for him atm 😮‍💨

All I'm saying is as asd base can be amazing I'd just look around and get the feel for the type you want your little one to go to as I'm having to take my child out due to silly mistakes and changes and broken promises and support for him which all can dysregulate and make any child act different especially a child with asd

Hope it all works out for you and your little one ❤️

A 'typical' life? What exactly is that? A life seen through a neuronormative filter?
I'd research and visit specialist provision within a feasible distance and speak to other parents of Autistic parents within your locality, if possible.

My son is 18 and went to a special provision from 11 to 17. They were amazing and he did really well. He did a year catering course at college and is now doing a supported internship to get him into work. Probably quite different to his peers as he is less independent but he's doing really well

My son went to asd unit and was put on a reduced timetable of 2 hours aday and he fulltime in the unit the struggle is real mama

Just do your research ask around and really find out about the methods of the unit. They were showing my son a photo of myself to him as he wouldnt leave school ( don't know why they ever made him leave in the first place though tbh) he now has learnt the routine of the day and expects to leave at that time and they send him as they can't cope with his meltdowns ( he 4 years old saoze of a bug 2 year old none verbal and has no semce of time 😅) so all I saying is do your digging as in six months all they've taught my son is leave 🤔

My autistic son went to a specialist indi school in secondary with an EHCplan 1:1

Then went to level 3 course at mainstream college with full 1:1 support

completed work based apprenticeship and now doing really well working in hospitality .

Currently being trained on job to be a team leader

lived for a few years in supported living but now in own accommodation and independently.

soooooooooo proud of him.

Many many many struggles in teenage years - but he is now living independently and has friends and is doing so well.

was previously totally drowning in mainstream - couldn’t meet his needs - but going to specialist asd schoolhelped both his academic and social skills and gave him his confidence back.

so glad he went .