If my son attends an ASD school….

[Redwineandcheeseplease01]

I am probably going to need to send my son to a mainstream primary with an ASD unit (autism/ADHD). Currently struggling on a heavily reduced timetable in mainstream reception class despite having an EHCP and 1:1.
I am digesting this realisation and I just want to know, do children and young people who attend specialist ASD schools go on to live full, happy, “typical” lives? Sorry if my question is moronic, my heads absolutely all over the place at the moment.

@MonaLisaDoesntSmile

Little unfair to blame parents who may well have been put under huge pressure to place in mainstream due to the kind of misconceptions about special education that appear to be alive and well even today and were even more so in the past: not to mention outright refusal from some LEAs to fund.
No-one has a crystal ball. Most parents are trying their best.

What’s wrong with semh? Where I am there are some lovely schools that focus on social and emotional needs. If they can meet those in a different environment then surely he can thrive!

I really wish there was one locally to me. Best of luck OP.

He seems to have autism as his primary need so I would think that was more appropriate. Horses for courses. I don't think there is anything wrong with semh

So much this. My heart sinks every year at about this time whe. I read posts on the autism UK FB page from parents of young children due to start school next year saying that they have doubts but professionals are advising they 'give mainstream a go.' Obviously some children with asc can and do thrive in nurturing and supportive mainstream schools but a lot of the time these are non-verbal children with limited understanding. Not being able to rely on LA case worker advice was one of the earliest and painful learning moments for us.

@Redwineandcheeseplease01

Hello. My son went to special sechool at secondary where he did gcse and then was supported by them at college. The brilliant thing and why we did it was that he had OT, SALT, Physio on tap. He lost out on the academics - he could have done more gcses. He is late 20s now. Been in full time work since 20 ish. It's low level min wage but he is well thought of and happy. He likely cannot progress more than this due to his dyspraxia and dysgraphia which is worse than his ASCBought his car outright. Owns part of his flat and lives an independent life with support from us for the paperwork and dealing with things like insurance and stuff. He tends to go on holiday partly with us but has also gone on his own (stays on campsites in lodges).. he still relies on us a bit for activities but is a member of a couple of groups.
The other ASC lad I know is the same age, he went to primary special school then a unit. I think he went to uni but not sure. He too is working, has a girlfriend and lives independently.
My son is brilliant. Education was difficult and I wonder if he should have gone to special primary but his school coped although it was stormy at times.

I work in an ASD school and lots of our kids go to college etc. If they are capable of doing so I don't see why they wouldnt get jobs, partners, houses etc too.

Thanks all for your replies. I’ve been busily researching specialist and support centres within mainstream schools and none of the ones that look like they’d be appropriate for my son take children until they’re 7/in Year 3. So does this mean he’s got to spend the next few years sitting in the corridor and being pushed out of the door hours early each day until he’s 7 and can access specialist?

Have you been in touch with your local authority? They should be able to provide you with a list of schools which do accept children of your son’s age and/ or what the alternatives are and also should be able to give some advice. It might also be that asking for an emergency review of his EHCP could be a good idea.

Ditto- what are the school saying? Have you had a really honest/ open chat with the SENCO, class teacher and head? Give them permission to be honest about whether this is working or not and if not, what they think is best. You need to decide on next steps together.

I’d also advise keeping an open mind- you’d DS is very young and things might change a lot as he gets older.

Practical suggestions from me to consider would be-

• staying at current school and reviewing support, maybe also with part time attendance at a specialist unit;
• staying at current school but accepting that he is going to be basically part time for a while and then arranging other activities for him in the time he is off (with the school’s agreement);
• you’ve probably done this already but looking at other state schools just to double check that they are not more subtable (for example in my area the “good” primary has an excellent SEN team, the “outstanding” one less so);
• going through each and every option of SEN schools which do take children of your DS’s age, even if on paper they don’t look suitable;
• looking at SEN schools out of area- I know a lot of families who have essentially found the school and then moved to the area- it may sound drastic but especially if the school goes through to 18 or has good secondary options it’s sometimes worth it.

In the meantime remember he is very young, if he misses a bit of schooling now it doesn’t mean that he’s never going to pass a GCSE.

Also the other thing is that it sounds like he’s likely to be on medication reasonably soon which could change things. If you like the school generally would it not be an idea to stick it out there for a little bit longer on a reduced timetable/ with interventions and maybe visits to an external unit (say something like 2x a week) and see if the medication has an effect?

Thanks so much for your reply. The SENCO and class teacher have said they want to continue very (painfully) slowly as they don’t want him to be overwhelmed. They agree he is bright, friendly, picking up school routines well etc but his impulsivity is his biggest barrier to learning at the moment. Not much I can do about this until he’s old enough to have ADHD meds. They’ve said they can’t predict how he will progress or not over the next year or two so to start looking at SEN schools/units now in case the day comes i
need to apply for one. Respect this honesty but one thing that’s pissinf me off
massively if they’re yet to implement a single EHCP intervention. He doesn’t need any specialist equipment, just someone to do it with himm(sensory circuit etc) and as mentioned he has a full time 1:1 so WTF is going on, why are they not doing this? Was assured they would be….but again I’ve picked him up today and nothing. Seems to spend most of his day being babysat by a TA in anywhere other than the classroom. I feel let down and angry that my poor little boy is being let down but feel I have to read carefully because if they say they can’t meet his needs then he won’t have a school at all.

When I say “day” I mean the poxy 2hrs he’s allowed in school 😑

Have you spoken to the local authority service that talks about the school options for autistic kids?

Echo part of this, I actually find your post linked to this comment quite offensive @Redwineandcheeseplease01 . Because some of our children go to specialist schools and won’t have what you measure as a ‘normal life’, that doesn’t mean their futures aren’t happy and fulfilled. What they do and achieve has just as much value as what you want for your child.

I’m a teacher in a state specialist provision- just curious, why would your DS being in a private school cost the local authority money?

Your last update is quite concerning especially "they’re yet to implement a single EHCP intervention."

I do wonder if they are one of the schools that take the EHCP students' resource and try to spread it over more children. I wonder where the money for the rest of his one to one's time is going. My guess would be they're employed a TA full time and they spend the rest of their day either supporting other named children with SEN (but possibly without an EHCP) or they operate as a class TA.

I can totally see why schools do this and they are woefully underfunded but you are your child's advocate. You can and should push them to be spending this money on your child. If one person with him is not enough for him to cope (and 2 hours a day and not accessing interventions yet does imply not completely coping) then shouldn't the money be spent on 2:1 for the shorter time he is in school? He won't get that, but a conversation does sound like it's in order.

There is a balance. He's still only 6 weeks in. When mine started school no one went FT before October. I wouldn't fret too much about lost learning at this stage but he has a right to a full time education and with his EHCP, they should have the resources to do better. Perhaps suggest a meeting and plan to get him staying longer, eg staying for lunch soon and in full time by the end of term. If they push back hard on that then perhaps it is not the right setting for him. I have a child on a PT timetable long term myself, I know FT doesn't work for every child despite their right to a FT education, but he is only 4 and several things you've said make me wonder if his current school is paying lip service and hoping you go elsewhere. This may be unfair. But school cultures vary so much, and different schools with implement the same EHCP in entirely different ways - some MUCH better than others.

I honestly don’t know what to think. When we’ve met school have been very kind and spoken about not wanting to overwhelm him, will say behaviour wise he is kind to everyone etc just the hyperactivity is an issue but why aren’t they implementing things like movement breaks and sensory circuits as per his EHCP then 😫
his 1:1 100% stays on after I pick him up. So yes they are being used to support the wider class. Seems to come with the territory but it’s starting to feel like this is at my sons cost as 6 weeks into school and he’s yet to stay for lunch or as mentioned have a single EHCP intervention. I hope things pick up, but my gut is telling me it won’t. If I could find a unit within a mainstream that would take him now, I’d be making the move asap. But as they won’t take him until 7….what do I do? ☹️

Your options include meeting with SENCo, and calling early annual review (this is easy to do and not a big deal) and arguing there that they are not meeting need.

Of course if there is a service like @Newsenmum describes in your area that sounds excellent. You could try asking SENDIASS if you haven't already. Look for private SEN schools too, which can sometimes be mysteriously missing from the local offer. If you are prepared to share your location, either here on the SEN boards, someone might be able to help with suggestions.

Since he is so young and seemingly so far from being allowed to stay all day, even in YR which is mostly play, I would seriously look at the SS route.

How was he at preschool? Was he well supported, and wdid he manage more than 2 hours a day? If so what's changed?

He was in a mainstream nursery doing 3 full days a week while I still worked. Generally speaking coped well. Was a very small nursery. Didn’t have support there, they treated like him as a bit of a nuisance if I’m honest (got exasperated with how hyperactive he is at times).

@Detchi Im scared if I request an early review he will get kicked out because they could say they can’t /wont meet his needs. I don’t really understand why they can’t meet his EHCP requirements though when he has a bloody full time 1:1 funded. And then my only option could be to send him to a special school that isn’t right for him either. I’m so annoyed & worried & pissed off that it doesn’t matter what the fuck I do, there’s always more hoops to jump through…just to continue to get nowhere. Meanwhile these “best outcomes” that were told early interventions help achieve, get further and further away

I think what I’d be focussing on in your position is (a) checking that the EHCP plan is specific enough about what the school needs to do (even down to timings, people involved), and (b) checking the school is doing it before you even start thinking about moving him.

If something is on the EHCP the school have to do it- it’s a legal duty. That said, there will obviously be some common sense/ discretion about how (even a 1-1 won’t be expected to be metaphorically joined at the hip with the child, and that’s not good for either of them).

My first step would be to say to the school that you don’t plan on looking for a move at the moment but that you want to review the EHCP provision to check it’s adequate. I’d also be asking the questions you’ve asked here about who was with him, for how long, what they tried, what happened and why they didn’t try x or y- in writing and ask for a response in writing. Is the LSA working with him a SEN LSA? Has the school sought help from the LA or other resources? Have they had specialists in to class?

It might also be possible for you to go into school and observe from a discrete distance and also chat through what’s happening with the class/ him with the LSA, teacher etc.

I’d probably not be focussing on increasing hours though until the time he is spending there is going better.

Also if the school have an online system for updates, make sure you get a daily update on who spent what time with him, what they tried etc. If not then I’d be asking for a brief email with similar details.

@Heronwatcher Thanks for your email. I asked for his EHCP to be made clearer so all interventions were quantified, who is delivering what action and how often etc. So far none of it is happening. He has a communication book where a paragraph is written each day about what he’s been upto which is great, but it’s literally he played with XYZ, he joined in with nursery rhymes on the carpet, rest of his 2hrs he seems to spend in another part of school being read a story by his 1;1 or having a snack/going to the toilet. And then I’m there to collect him again. At no point has he ever been allowed to join phonics or other class activities despite being a bright child who is already sight reading some words and simple sums. Im gutted for him that he’s not accessing any of the support he’s assessed as needing and is funded for, and angry that I drove myself insane fighting for it just for it to be ignored.

OK so there's no mileage in him returning to nursery. It must be frustrating he's gone from 3 full days down to so little though and I would worry they are just doing the minimum - crowd control.

What should happen if it's agreed that school cannot meet need is that until another place can be found for him, he stays where he is under "best endeavours". But the politics can be a bit more complicated. l

I always feel with SEN parenting you are fighting multiple fires on different levels simultaneously. The immediate, the plan for the next 2-6 weeks, the next term, and the big stuff like school changes. All I can suggest is keep trying to get regular reviews on your schedule, not just when they suggest (which will not be very often), and involving SENCo. Eg definitely this side of half term to implement a couple of identified provisions in his EHCP and talk about increasing his hours to include lunch, for example. Your eggs don't all go in that basket, but it's something to have going alongside the bigger stuff of searching for other provision.

If nothing else a structured sensory break sounds like a lot of fun. Why is it not going in, if they are trying to get school to work for him? If he is already reading sight words that is a really good concrete example you could use as evidence that he needs to be given access to phonics learning. And that could absolutely be delivered by his one to one.

You have achieved a massive amount already by getting an EHCP in place for YR. You are at least a year ahead of many people. It wasn't worthless, you're just at another step in the process.

I think in that case definitely focus on getting the EHCP updated- if school are either just being slow or being a bit lacklustre set up a meeting and threaten to get the LA involved. Also threaten to take the budget into your own hands (by threaten I mean nicely let them know you’re thinking about it…). Also say that you want comms specifically to focus on his needs and how they are being addressed. You need to take this one step at a time and before I considered a different setting I would want to be 100% sure the EHCP is being actioned where he is.

Honestly though I wouldn’t worry too much about phonics etc yet- once the support is in place he’ll get there. Also as long as he’s happy at school and happy at home, that’s actually quite an achievement! Not wanting to be patronising but take the small wins. Oh and ignore other kids reading Shakespeare, grade 8 piano at 4 etc, parents talk a load of nonsense and what’s right for your son might be very different.