can SS or CAHMS in effect force a parent to resign...

[needavice888]

...in order to provide 24/7 suicide watch over the child which has been let down over and over by the services for months in end despite asking/crying for help over and over again.. The only solution is now to force the parent to provide 24/7 suicide watch without providing additional therapy or help ans without any regard for the parent's need to work and provide and the impact it has on siblings. Parent has no support network. What happens if parent is ignoring the safety plan and goes to work (not for a jolly but to simply earn a living and to provide for the children).

This all sounds odd. If the child is at such a risk, surely they should be hospitalised. I'm sorry you are in this position, it sounds awfully worrying.

You are not being unreasonable at all. You sound like you are at your limit and that is an impossible situation.💐

I'm sorry this is happening to you, the system is completely broken

Write to your MP. CAMHS and SS will have support in place swiftly!

I really don't know what to do. But I am at the point where I rather try my change to keep my job and hope DC doesn't do anything silly.

In theory I guess yes. My sympathies OP. Can you take any Parental Leave?

DB was on suicide watch for 2 weeks, making attempts whenever he possibly could and getting quite violent with me/DM. Kept being told nothing they could do and to keep watching him. Eventually his attempts got more and more serious until they admitted him to a psych ward but the memory of that still f**ks me up now. Until experiencing it I had no idea how useless the system is around this kind of help. As pp said maybe contact an MP? 💐

Have you explained this to them? There is SS funding available in children with disability teams for carers and respite.
Are DC on a child protection plan? What they could do is say you are failing to keep child safe if you leave them and could start legal proceedings for them to be removed (worst case scenario).
You could do with some legal advice and also advocacy for your children. SS should be able to put you in touch with advocacy and solicitors.

Unfortunately you'd be surprised 😢

Where we are, the hospital keeps discharging the same day to a parent until the risk is severe enough, no matter how many attempts are made. The system is messed up.

They can’t. 24 hour suicide watch = hospital or continuing health care.

Yes , I have until I am blue on the face. I get a fucking headtilt back. a sad face and a 'oh, we are so sorry and we appreciate things are incredibly hard for you esp with work and multiple children with SN but we couldn't give a flying fuck how you manage but sadly there is nothing else we can do.

just a safety plan. no protection plan. if they wish they can remove DC at least then they have to take responsibility at last. and hopefully they will get access to therapy etc. I am at that point now.

I contacted my MP last week after we heard that we'd been turned down for ongoing support from CAMHS again (following DD's suicide attempt last month). She got back to me today and there are things they can do, they can put pressure on agencies for you etc.

It's exhausting though, as you're trying to look after your child, keep everything else going and battle for any support

Respite is for children with disabilities, not suicidal children. And they are hardly going to go to court to remove the child if they have nowhere safe to put them. It's not social services who need to step in here, it's child mental health services.

If they won't entertain hospitalisation, some LAs have specialist Foster carers (many tend to have mental health/psychology background) who can take children in for a short term period, while they await treatment. I agree with contacting your MP and get them involved in looking for options for you.

Thanks all. I had not considered hospitalisation at all. Will discuss this tomorrow in a meeting.

I hope the meeting is productive tomorrow @needavice888

my MP is a labour c* who doesn't give a shit. he is there for photo opportunities and was one of the MPs which the highest amounts of gifts. still waiting for a response to issues raised in July!

Social services are actually fucking useless. Honestly they are not fit for purpose.

Has your child got a diagnosis of a learning disability (NOT difficulty) or autism?

In which case they can be referred to something called the Dynamic Support Register under the Learning Disability and Autism Programme by a mental health professional (or any professional working for your NHS trust) and additional support is a valuable and there is a budget for additional care and support.

https://www.england.nhs.uk/learning-disabilities/#:~:text=Our%20programme%20is%20about%20making,support%2C%20and%20close%20to%20home.

There is more they can do, take it higher if you can. It's awful the fight people face trying to get the right support and care for their children. I really hope things improve for you soon 💗

You are still his constituent and it's his job.

Social services are not there to provide homes for suicidal children. Children's mental health services (which are NHS not social services) are the ones who are failing here.

we are 2 years into a 6-8 year waiting list for an ASD assessment 🙈

I really do not think this is on SS. This is a massive Camhs cock up.

The direct but unpleasant answer is that if you ignore the safety plan, your child could be hurt, and/or social services could initiate a child protection plan (which is extra pressure/stress you don't need)

If a child is seriously ill, a parent is expected to care for them, and yes that includes taking leave, taking unpaid leave, reducing hours or coming out of work. Yes it impacts the whole family, there are thousands of parents of children with long term disabilities in this situation.

If your child was taken into hospital you'd likely still need to be with them a lot of the time - parents spend a lot of time on wards. If your child is struggling with a mental health issue there's no quick fix that services can provide, and a child who is suicidal isn't likely to be able to engage in therapy until they're out of crisis.

Not sure how old your child is but at one point I took my dd to a&e and insisted she was seen, 2 hours later we have intervention plan in place and were given the option of inpatient if i had preferred. They tried to say there was nothing they could do via out of hours mental health (she was nearly 18 so camhs had passed her over) but miraculously the hospital could get things moving.

Thankfully that was her last major crisis, 6 years ago