can SS or CAHMS in effect force a parent to resign...

[needavice888]

...in order to provide 24/7 suicide watch over the child which has been let down over and over by the services for months in end despite asking/crying for help over and over again.. The only solution is now to force the parent to provide 24/7 suicide watch without providing additional therapy or help ans without any regard for the parent's need to work and provide and the impact it has on siblings. Parent has no support network. What happens if parent is ignoring the safety plan and goes to work (not for a jolly but to simply earn a living and to provide for the children).

How about your local councillors?

Some areas admit young people without a diagnosis of autism or a learning disability onto their DSR. You can Google your local authority’s local offer and it should have details of the DSR and how to get a referral. In some places you can self refer and get a key worker. The key workers job is to avoid inappropriate admission to hospital so they can access packages of care to support the family at home. What’s available in your area is down to how the NHS and LA have set up the local system unfortunately. I’ve got everything crossed there’s something useful in your area.

Basically no. If school risk assess as unsafe to recieve on site, default responsibility for education devolves to the LA and usually eotas - education other than at school.

The LA will move heaven and earth not to fund this, but it is in school's interest to clarify where the duty lies, so meet your senco and ask them to find out more.

Also if you look on Facebook your area will have a parent carer forum (called different things in different areas- but Google name of area parent carer forum and it will come up). This is a group of parents who have children and young people with SEND and mental health needs and they will know key contacts in your area and if any charities etc exist that will be able to help you.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Newbold hope charity is a good source of support too.

If you haven't been through it you would not believe CAMHS would not provide support for an actively suicidal child (my daughter was 12). I took mine to A&E twice and the second time I called the social services safeguarding team to report the crisis team who wanted to send her home again when we knew we could not keep her safe, and all of a sudden they were able to admit her and provide 24/7 1:1 supervision for several days and a complex case review after all. I did not make any friends there but I think it saved her life. It's not a long-term solution but it might get you through the initial crisis. She is well and thriving now but I remember how awful it was and I am so sorry you are going through it.

Hi, been through this. My daughter did end up getting admitted to a Tier 4 mental health Unit for 6 weeks for assessment after A+E, children ward stay, RAIST intervention etc. Not a long stay as the aim of the unit was to assess and get her back in the community as soon as possible. It wasn't perfect and I hate to say it, has made my daughter worse which I'm hoping is temporary, but now she is in the system so to speak. The social worker there advised us to apply for DLA for her as you can apply for mental health needs. I don't know if you are aware that you can apply. It's based on needs rather than diagnosis, and the fact that you are providing care beyond what a child of that age would usually need, such as night care. You can then get extra universal credit which could help. We got help with the application from the welfare rights service from the council. It took ages to come through mind you. There is a really good facebook page called Parenting Mental Health which is very supportive. Being in this position is so hard. It's impossible to watch your child 24/7 and remove all dangerous things from your house while trying to live a normal life as possible.

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this @needavice888 . I had to take long term sick leave from my work to keep my son (s) safe. At one time I was his 1:1 support/warden when he was on a children's ward in our local general hospital. He was there because there were no beds for him at the CAMHS unit. So we had a very disturbed 16 year old on a ward with poorly babies and toddlers. Indeed, the staff told me that at one time, they had three seriously at risk older teens on the ward.

I am not going to steal the thread, but the demands of our children (both teens at the time) and the lack of effective services meant we had to separate the family so dad looked after one son and mum (me) looked after the other. I went to stay with a relative, but my son's behaviour put them at risk - it did, however, speed up the rehoming process!.

My situation was a bit extreme, and happened nearly a decade ago. However, services for adolescents with serious mental health issues and complex needs is hopelessly inadequate.

This sounds like a very stressful situation for you OP, and your DC. Apologies because I haven’t read the whole thread but wanted to ask whether you’d spoken to your DC’s lead practitioner and if your family is receiving support from either the duty and/or crisis team? Does your DC have an up to date risk assessment and safety plan? If you feel that needs updating a call to duty would highlight your concerns and should lead to an updated risk assessment which might suggest an inpatient service or an alternative plan. In our local CAMHS the advice if you feel your child is at immediate risk to self and/or others is to attend A&E where they should be assessed by staff from the CAMHS liaison/crisis team. Wishing you and your DC the very best.

It’s not on ss this is for camhs to deal with as they are supposed to be mh specialist

the crisis team is involved. Their 'solution' is putting me on suicide watch. That is the new safety plan. nothing else .

Have you raised with the mental health trust’s PALS team? They would be be able to support you to have conversations with more senior staff who could review the care plan and talk to you about alternative options.

You really need to talk to solicitors with expertise in these issues, e.g Irwin Mitchell or Simpson Millar. You can almost certainly get legal aid in your children's names. It's amazing how SS manage to find solutions when faced with having to explain themselves to a judge.

it's a camhs issue. I do not blame SS at all. Camhs threw us under the bus by denying access to therapy.

I'm.sorry you are in this position but you need to put your child first. If anything happened you would never forgive yourself. Do you have any family that could step in to help watch them?

Not RTFT but have you spoken to your employer? I had a staff member with a similar situation (and unfortunately a similarly poor response from healthcare professionals) and we basically pulled together all possible applicable leave and allowed her to take it in one go if needed. She took about 6 weeks off, some paid, some not but it allowed them to ride out that period. It was not a particularly family friendly/progressive organisation either but we were able to make it work. Hopefully your employer can do something to help

Do you have an HR department? You should speak to them if you do, get parental leave just as a sticking plaster. Benefits wise a lot of companies have access to family therapy and online GP do you have access to any of that?

I'm a lone parent OP, I really understand the pressure.

There might be funding available but there aren't any available spaces. We have been waiting for 4 years for urgent crisis disability respite.

I was very shocked by the lack of support when my son attempted suicide at school and I was put in touch with the crisis team. They called about 9pm and the safety plan they went through was me. They say call at any time but all they do is go through the safety plan.

There was generic advice about removing door hooks, dressing gown cords, sharp objects etc. He has a great psychiatrist and medication but all that happened next was our appointment was brought forward. They said my area no longer had inpatient facilities for his age group.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

I dont know if unpaid parental leave would keep your job open whilst you get through this. There is 18 weeks available. I know it's financially hard but you might become eligible for universal credit. Also might be able to claim dla for him to help. Totally understand this might not feel like an option but I was at the point of losing my job and my hr manager explained I coukd keep it open by using this leave.

How is losing my job and my home putting my child (and other children) first?

and no, nobody to help. No everybody has family or a support network.

I read the first few lines of your post and thought this sounded like a presentation of Audhd (ASD and ADHD) which, in my personal and professional experience, CAMHS practitioners often mistake for PTSD, BPD and others.
I'm so glad he's feeling better these days.
When I was going through this, (with my daughter) I found CAMHS to be fucking useless. We'd turn up after a long drive and they'd be late for the counselling session and then do 20 mins of therapy, (instead of the hour they're meant to have) often going over what they'd talked about in the previous session or forgetting what she'd told them, forgetting homework/goals etc.
They initially rejected her at CAMHS because even though her weight was dangerously low (under 6 stones) she didn't have an obvious presentation of anorexia and the mental health nurse who assessed her (supposedly an eating disorder nurse) didn't know jack about Arfid.
We have bupa and thank fuck we do because she got therapy this way and it was transformative and not hellbent on blaming us or passing the buck somewhere else.

I burned through all my unpaid parental leave already 🙈

This Is Not A Matter For Social Services!!! This child needs to be in hospital if she can't be kept safe at home. Who runs children's mental health wards?

Op what is your job? Is it a job you could do at home? Most employers will be helpful and come up with a plan to help you. Eg temp work from home that's what I had to do to make time up. Most decent employers have a paid sick policy some up to six months or if they don't they should work something out flexibly. In the mean time apply for dla you should get middle rate if you have to watch all the time, it will take months but will be backdated. Speak to CAB see if there is any benefits you can get worst case you should get universal credit if you aren't able to work. Sadly with these situations the buck stops at the parent and many do have to give up work for awhile. If your a single mum with kids you aren't going to be left with no money if you had to leave your job. This really is what benefits are designed for to temporarily help people in need. Sorry your going through this it is so sad.

CaMHS does have the power to push your child right to the top of the wait list for autism asst (or any other asst needed) so that could be something to try.

They are pretty useless though. I really don't think you should be giving up your job. They won't be able to force that. It's such a difficult situation if you are on your own. I really feel for you.

Even if you gave up your job, you wouldn't be able to keep your boy safe. If he is determined, you're going to be calling the police every time he goes out of the house. Such a pressure for you.

I can only think to push for hospitalalisation for your boy. We were offered this many years ago now when our ds walked out in front of a lorry. Once his physical injuries were healed and he was discharged from hosp into CAMHS "care" they did offer this as they just could not make head nor tail of his thinking (little wonder as they only spent about 20 mins with him)

We didn't take the option; i was lucky in working from home. But the stress of living with a suicidal person really does take a toll.

All the best to you. Sorry you are going through this.