can SS or CAHMS in effect force a parent to resign...

[needavice888]

...in order to provide 24/7 suicide watch over the child which has been let down over and over by the services for months in end despite asking/crying for help over and over again.. The only solution is now to force the parent to provide 24/7 suicide watch without providing additional therapy or help ans without any regard for the parent's need to work and provide and the impact it has on siblings. Parent has no support network. What happens if parent is ignoring the safety plan and goes to work (not for a jolly but to simply earn a living and to provide for the children).

My useless CAMHS:
really challenging teen. First visit.
I asked if could talk to Dr alone, as child doesn’t like to hear me talk about them,
Dr said no, teen needs supervision.

I talked about child answering Dr questions. Teen starts hitting my arm. Then puts me in choke hold, pulling me over sideways on sofa, but not squeezing.
i started to cry. It was scary and upsetting.

Dr just sat there, blank faced. Then “concluded” meeting.

5 months later, I get the meeting notes by post, it is really positive about the teen and recommends “functional parenting” for me. However, there are no functional parenting classes available anywhere, ever.
I wrote back asking about child’s affect, hitting mum, choke hold. WHY The Dr made no note of it …. Reply suggested I was making it up because not in notes.

F*<k them.

Oh @needavice888 , I feel for you. My DD overdosed at the start of the year, I've had safety plan after safety plan, but 7 months on she still hasn't even had an initial assessment let alone treatment. At one point, we were in A&E every two weeks when she would indicate she would harm again, and then calling the duty team weekly. Made no difference. Luckily I can work from home and my work have been very understanding at letting me do that FT when I had to monitor her 24/7 and couldn't go to the office.

I've used her DLA to get a private psych assessment and anti depressants. It's expensive, but has made a difference. And now arranging private therapy too.

If you haven't already, apply for DLA. it's based on need, not diagnosis, so document everything you need to do for your child. You can't wait for CAMHS, it'll take years. Once you've got DLA, I think you can then apply for carers allowance.

Is your child on roll at a school? Speak to the safeguarding lead there, ask what support they can refer you onto - we got family support early help (although it took 4 months and me crying down the phone asking if they needed me to end up in A&E too).

Ask your GP about right to choose for the autism assessment. I don't know how many are still taking child referrals, but no harm in asking.

I'm so sorry you're in this position. Our young people are being horribly let down.

Hearing all of these awful stories about CAMHS is very depressing and shit.

I’m sorry that this has happened to so many people.

There are good services out there, unfortunately I really feel that some places have much more resource and expertise than others with a very different work culture, which obviously makes a huge difference.

I work in a CAMHS service and we very very rarely have any complaints. If someone needs to be seen- they are seen. And they are allocated immediately. We see every referral within 28 days (which is a legal stipulation) and offer regular slots (as often as is needed) immediately if we feel that there is risk. If I go on holiday and I’m worried about a family, a colleague will check in on them whilst I’m not there. If we have a child who has attempted suicide we see them within 7 days psychology and psychiatry, and we make a safety plan with the family.. but we then also attend planning meetings with social care and education to provide wraparound support. Alongside this we would then start an ongoing piece of work (usually with the parents). We wouldn’t ever leave people waiting in that situation.

We have waiting lists but if anyone called us upset and feeling like things were becoming unmanageable we would see them in person as soon as possible, usually within a week, or if they just wanted to chat things through we would stay on the phone and do that no problem. We will move people to the top of the waiting list if necessary. We always try to be flexible offering appointments out of school hours if requested, unless someone is in crisis, in which case we need to go quickly so it would probably be mid-day.

We have well attended community groups / coffee mornings for parents and children to provide a sense of community. We have regular groups and workshops. We have therapy provision for those with less severe MH difficulties, we have therapy provision for more significant needs and we also have a pathway for those in active crisis. We don’t hold a waiting list for those in active crisis.

We have close links to external services like social care so we aren’t all blaming each other and pushing referrals on to one another, we work together to think what each of us can bring to support. Sometimes we do appointments together because we want to and that is usually more helpful.

We are picky about who we employ. We only want passionate people. I can think of nobody in my team I wouldn’t want to work with, we often join together to do work when things feel harder. We have time and space (given by management) to reflect and learn together. We have complex case discussions regularly to really think about what is helpful for families.

Maybe people will feel that this still isn’t enough, but where I work is very well resourced and managed with a high retention rate. This is the difference that is made through having more resources.

That sounds absolutely amazing!!

Thank goodness services do take suicide seriously! I hope my local service is in a league of its own re shit-ness and not replicated across the UK. It was in the local press only this week that it can't cope as referrals are up 400%.

Can't help but think it could be managed better to maximise efficiency as it was absolutely useless for both my dc.

She won't get higher rate becuase that needs serious mobility issues. Op should get middle rate, it's all a help. I really think she needs to go to the CAB for advise re work as well and what help she can get to keep her job and advice on what she's entitled to if she does need to leave.

Is higher rate not payable for those that cannot travel independently at all? Sorry, bit out of the loop now with dla.

It certainly is the case for pip.

The Maudsley Emergency Clinic closed in 2007.

They said the same to me and told me to hide kitchen knives etc.

I made it clear that I could not provide 24/7 care. Didn't make them give us any other support.

Thank you. My DD is now in recovery after 8 years-from 11-19. It’s the most awful of mental illnesses.

Another one who had a bad experience of CAMHS. They blame the parents, try and push everything onto children's services. Really wish I'd had the energy to complain properly.

My child spent 10 months on a general pediatric ward because there was no where else for them to go and we couldn't keep them safe. They didn't meet the criteria for Adolescent MH unit (I think that's Tier 3?)

Bloody hell that's a long time. Did it get better and come back again or has it always been a constant struggle. This is my worst fear that it will come back later when she's stressed with exams or similar life events. I'm hoping and praying it won't of course. My dd has really turned a corner the last three months after about 18 months since diagnosis and I think we will be signed off camhs soon.

Yes, she was very unwell for half of year 6 and half of year 7. Then she was ok for a couple of years but never really ate normally but was weight restored. She became very unwell at the start of year 11 and needed intense treatment again. Again in year 13. She started to improve 6 months ago and is now 20 in four weeks and I’d say recovered.

I'm so sorry to hear you've been through it for so long. I hope this is the turning point and your dd is going to live a healthy and happy life. I will remain vigilant, they do say full recovery takes a long time, I do feel she's turned a corner but I do know this illness is very complex. I think us parents almost get ptsd from it and it feels very lonely as people don't really understand it.

In my own personal experience I feel anorexia is similar to alcoholism. There is always that tightrope you are walking and it calls to you in times of stress. It's a battle and one that never leaves you alone.💐

Hi OP, been thinking of you and I really hope things are better for your family and you have a workable plan in place now