Christmas time off

[Girlinblue]

This will be my second Christmas in this job. I work in a team of 5 and we are closed for the bank holidays but other than that there has to be at least 2 people in. Last year I worked Christmas Eve and the days between Xmas and new year. so was hoping that I would have it off this year because surely the fairest way to do this is to take it in turns each year?

Christmas time off has been talked about a few times because we just have to decide between us who is working when. It doesn’t get allocated for us. A couple of the women that I work with have talked about having Xmas off again because they have kids and have things to sort out. I said yes but I don’t really want to work it again because I did it last year and you both were off, so it’s not very fair if the same people are getting it off every time. They are saying that the people with kids should take priority. But just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean I don’t also have things to prepare and things/traditions of my own. I want to spend time with my family and make plans etc just as much as they do.

I was thinking of bringing it up in a meeting to my manager to say how it needs to be split fairly. Myself and my other child free colleague also deserve to have the time off and our Christmas isn’t any less valuable to those with kids. i know some people don’t care about Christmas and some people do think it’s just for kids. But for me it’s not, I have a big family that I rarely get to see throughout the year and Christmas is the time that I get to see them and spend time with them.

Would I be unreasonable to bring this up further and insist that this should be split fairly each year? How is the best way to do it without causing unnecessary drama?

It only seems to be "it takes avillage" as long as village is quiet and obedient sadly.

I grew up with the "village" aka community around who cared. That also meant reprimanding kids even if they weren't yours as well aa keeping an eye in public and helping kids if needed. It didn't mean childcare issues sorting unless emergencies. It's still going where I grew up.

They way some people on MN talk about the village is more of just one way thing. Help and shush. Quite sad and entitled

Thanks for all of your replies. I’m glad to see that the majority of people don’t think I’m being unreasonable. A colleague from another team today was shocked that we don’t yet have our Christmas AL sorted out because it was done a couple of weeks ago on their team. They get sent a rota out. Which then prompted a conversation in my team. One of the women who is expecting it off (who also had it off last year) said if she gets told she has to work she’s calling in sick. I’m going to bring it up to my manager on Thursday when we are back in the office

So, last year the parent who was rota’d on called in sick. She’s now insisting that last year was her year on and she won’t be doing this year.

If I’m rota’d on I’ll do it. It not and a parent is rota’d on then they’ll probably start up with guilt-tripping me but I have no patience anymore and I won’t be talked into it. They were all dreadful with me during those 7 years and I don’t have any interest in helping them out.

Are you happy to disclose your job title?

Unless you’re something like firefighters or doctors (I’m assuming not, given you have the bank hols off) I’d agree with your colleague who would just call in sick if it weren’t sorted fairly.

Your manager sounds a bit pathetic. S/he will need to intervene if there is no agreement.

They can go bollocks, I have kids and don’t think I should have time off over anyone who doesn’t. I used to work with people that had the same attitude but luckily they were never pandered to and it was done in a fair way. I’m lucky in my current job as I usually book the week before off as no one is bothered and then I just work inbetween as I WFH so I can pretty much toss it off.

It needs to be fair for everyone, do not back down on this. I hope you can get it sorted.

I’ve always thought this, it’s so insensitive.

OP, absolutely no way should you tolerate that.
It needs to be fairly done by rota.
The threat to ring in sick needs repeating, even unattributed.
I would start job hunting on that basis if that is the way they intend treating you.

I hope your manager gets their finger out, does their job and sorts out a fair rota. Will you be telling them what your colleague said?

You are 100% right. I have chn but don't thunk for one minute that gives me or my dh more right to time off. It must be allocated fairly. Those that worked last xmas etc get this one off and so forth.
You have family as and things you want to do as well.
Christmas is not just for children. I hate the attitude of some parents that it is

I read you will be raising it on Thursday, hope you get a satisfactory outcome.

My opinion is that those who worked the previous Christmas should be first in the queue to have extra days off this year.

You are absolutely right to be angry! Surely it's discrimination against childless people to not allow them Christmas off.

your Christmas is not any less important that theirs.

what about people who are desperate to have children but can't? It's a right kick in the teeth.

totally unfair to just assume those with children get Christmas off.

100% stand your ground on this one or you'll be working every Christmas guaranteed.

YANBU OP. And I'd be interested to know if the manager usually takes time off over Christmas.

I have kids, I'm also a team manager.

It's fair to do it every other year, that is reasonable. It's what my team do.

This is entirely down to shit management.

no I wasn’t planning on telling him what she said. He will see for himself if she does call in sick. She is absolutely adamant that she is having it off because she has children and is hosting for 20 people so needs to sort things out. The other colleague isn’t as adamant as this but has said she’s asking for it off again due to wanting to spend it with her children. I did mention that both of them had it off last year and they told me I don’t understand because I don’t have kids and they should take priority because Christmas is for children

He worked it last year yes

This gives me such rage. People who feel entitled to essentially discriminate against child-free people by ruining their Christmas holiday.
OP, hold firm. You worked last year, consequently this year you will be off. Don't debate over it. Be difficult if needs be. Management need to work out a fair system.
I had to fight this last year. My family are 200 miles away and if I'd been in office I'd have been sitting in my apartment by myself.

Given your colleagues' attitudes, I would 100% rat them out to the manager. I wouldn't name names but I would say that I'd be speaking to ACAS and a solicitor about my potential legal options in the event of not getting leave, in light of being told that I just didn’t understand, and that they should take priority because Christmas is for children.

I think I'd certainly be telling your manager about their comments to you re their perception that they're more entitled to the time than you and their attempts to get you to give way to them. That's unacceptable behaviour.

Perfectly reasonable to share the days out. If they need the 24th off they work the 27th then it's the weekend anyway. I'm working the 24th as it's half day anyway but if you want it off you have to book a full day!

I hate the idea that people with kids get priority at Christmas. I have kids but even if I didn’t who’s to say I don’t fancy a nice festive hunker down with my cat and a huge tub of Quality Street? And who’s to say that’s not as worthy as having kids?

Raise it with your manager.

I work in a similar job and we seem to be able to figure it out between us - I prefer Christmas Eve off but am quite happy to work NY so the young uns can party and it works for us, but there’s always a deal to be done, and I’ve done my share of rubbish shifts over the years.

Every year this issue comes up on mumsnet and I feel angry on the ops behalf everytime. Just because you have dc doesn't mean you can automatically have Christmas off

Should have guessed your manager is man. He uses work as an excuse to not have to do family stuff over Christmas. Do doesn't see the issue

I have children and would never expect priority over and holiday. Stick to your guns.

I've just sent out the Christmas leave Spreadsheet to all my teams, We can operate on a skeleton staff, but even so, I will make sure that requests are dealt with fairly, taking into consideration who was off last year.

Fairness is important - anything else leads to resentment.

This is a manager problem.
People will rarely agree on a schedule.

The manager puts a rolling schedule in place, keeps the history. Obviously after that people can agree exchanges but that's only if it works for them.