Christmas time off

[Girlinblue]

This will be my second Christmas in this job. I work in a team of 5 and we are closed for the bank holidays but other than that there has to be at least 2 people in. Last year I worked Christmas Eve and the days between Xmas and new year. so was hoping that I would have it off this year because surely the fairest way to do this is to take it in turns each year?

Christmas time off has been talked about a few times because we just have to decide between us who is working when. It doesn’t get allocated for us. A couple of the women that I work with have talked about having Xmas off again because they have kids and have things to sort out. I said yes but I don’t really want to work it again because I did it last year and you both were off, so it’s not very fair if the same people are getting it off every time. They are saying that the people with kids should take priority. But just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean I don’t also have things to prepare and things/traditions of my own. I want to spend time with my family and make plans etc just as much as they do.

I was thinking of bringing it up in a meeting to my manager to say how it needs to be split fairly. Myself and my other child free colleague also deserve to have the time off and our Christmas isn’t any less valuable to those with kids. i know some people don’t care about Christmas and some people do think it’s just for kids. But for me it’s not, I have a big family that I rarely get to see throughout the year and Christmas is the time that I get to see them and spend time with them.

Would I be unreasonable to bring this up further and insist that this should be split fairly each year? How is the best way to do it without causing unnecessary drama?

Definitely raise it and definitely sort out a rota system. It's not fair to get priority because of children and I say this with 2 young children!
I generally work either Christmas week or the week in between to help my team out. It is a juggle with no childcare but no way would I say to a colleague that I should get priority!

Noway. You don't need to make up lies and excuses in order to be awarded basic fairness.

It's really shitty management to expect employees to fight it out between themselves. Your manager needs to do some actual management, that's what they get paid more for.

And yes, child free colleagues are also entitled to want time off at Christmas.

That's really horrible of them. Christmas is a special time for most people - having kids doesn't trump anyone else's right to time off.

I've always alternated years with colleagues unless it was the case that someone volunteered to work and save their holiday for next year.

Absolutely discuss with manager. It is not fair. Either alternate years or equal split of days. They may even agree only 1 person needed in, or can log on from home to check for anything urgent.

Did you not see the other thread from the parent who can't find childcare and is being asked to work over Christmas?

I do think that people who don't have childcare responsibilities should do the decent thing and volunteer to work over Christmas.

Should I've added, I've always been fortunate enough to work with fair minded people. I think you need to raise this with your manager - a hands off approach is all well and good when people are reasonable, but when they're not, it needs to be broached.

Why should they? People who don’t have children are just as entitled to enjoy time off over Christmas as those without them. Ridiculous attitude.

Why?

A colleague’s childcare is no concern of the OP’s.

Of course you shouldn't have to work. I wouldn't be asking. No need to be rude or defensive about it, but in front of mamagement, a simple, matter of fact " I think that Christmas cover might need to be determined as I obviously I won't be available this year having taken my turn last year".

I don’t think it’s ridiculous. I covered Christmas for decades once mine had grown up.

I do think that people who don't have childcare responsibilities should do the decent thing and volunteer to work over Christmas.

For how long? Some people never have children. Should they work every single one of their working lives, in service to their colleagues?

Good for you. Why do you think everyone else should be expected to though?

Well, that's a bit mean and uncaring! Obviously, there are situations that are unavoidable. Would you say 'not my problem' if it were a relatives last Christmas?

I didn't see the other post, but I think most people would be able to find chilcare for a date in two months time, or not be completely devoid of friends, family or a local babysitter, so I don't think this would be a typical problem.

I dunno. I just kinda feel that children are, even in a small way, a collective responsibility for society as a whole. "It takes a village to raise a child," sort of thing. That's why we have things like social services and state-funded education.

Working over Christmas doesn't seem like that big a deal as something to help out those with children.

Why? Are people without children less deserving of Christmas with their families?

@Nogaxeh thats very community minded of you and I read the other thread and ultimately if someone has young children and no childcare then I don’t know what they’re supposed to do really- either her or her DH is going to have to not turn up at work!

That being said, I don’t think people with children have a given right to time off over others!! I have children and I’m working 23,24,27,30 and 31st Dec.

Working over Christmas doesn't seem like that big a deal as something to help out those with children.

One or two, maybe. But your comments imply that they should always do so. 45 or 50 Christmases is a bit different. But as always with these threads, it's very easy to be generous with other people's time.

Mostly it's a practical thing to do with childcare. Most childcare providers will want to take Christmas off too.

Secondly, there are other people involved. Just from a point of view of maximising happiness out makes sense to do something so that parents can be with their children.

I don't think that, as a society, people should have their noses so far bent out of joint over being asked to do something generous for their colleagues. Life is better if we're all prepared to be generous for others from time to time, and people without childcare, or other caring, responsibilities have a greater capacity to give.

It's unpleasant to cause difficulties over it. A sign of how selfish society is that people wouldn't think to offer automatically.

Jog on.

People without kids still have families. My mother is dying, should people with kids take priority over our last Christmas together?

No. Nobody has any obligation to a colleague because they have children. If you know there's an expectation to work over the Christmas period, you arrange things early - you don't rely on other people sacrificing their time off for you.

If someone is struggling for childcare it all depends how it's approached. If someone said "look I'm in a difficult spot, I've been rostered to work but I really can't get childcare that day, can anyone help me out with a swap" that feels very different to being told you should "do the decent thing" because you don't have kids/your kids are older or grown up. But so many parents are so damn entitled. I've had colleagues say to me I should do the on call shifts on the public holidays because mine are teenagers now so they won't care about Christmas and theirs are still little. This is bare faced entitlement, not need - I'll help a colleague out who is normally a decent contributing member of the team and is in need, but if someone comes at me with that air of entitlement, telling me what I should do for them and what they feel entitled to simply because they have children, they can get tae fuck.

My parents want to spend Christmas with me. It goes both ways. i shouldn't have to forego a Christmas with my family because I chose not to have children.

As PP said, a rota system is the fairest thing, regardless of family make up.

YANBU

People who think just because they have DC they are special really annoy me.

EVERYONE has the right to a family life. Everybody.

Bring it up with your manager, and suggest a rota, so it's fair.

I bet they also believe they have first rights to choosing their summer holiday time as well ...?

You aren’t unreasonable at all.

The problem is that management haven’t taken hold of this issue - which is an issue in every workplace, every year (or most).

They can’t just “leave you to sort it out” as it just means that the dominant personalities win. They need to get a grip on this and sort out a fair system.