The way some people let toddlers behave......

[Purpleturtle46]

I have own 3 kids in primary and secondly so still completely remember what the toddler stage was like but recently I have noticed on several occasions that people just let their toddlers run wild. Yesterday for example I was at a farm park with my youngest who has just turned 8 and the following are examples from just one day.

-DD in big sandpit quite focussed on building something and toddlers allowed on several occasions to come over and knock it down, no intervention from parents.

-huge slide from top of 3 story fort thing with big queue of kids at top, none can go down as toddler standing at bottom. Mum comes and removes toddler after a while and process repeats itself several more times.

-lots of sunken trampolines in ground, one child per trampoline. DD waits patiently to have a go, toddler then gets on with her. Parents seem to find this cute, DD gives up and just gets off.

-a throw a hoop over the witches hat game. Toddler running in-between the hats so DD has to wait until toddler is removed after some half hearted attempts to shout across from the picnic bench Dad is sitting at.

-older baby crawling around the middle of the floor in a cafe, waiter carrying 2 huge plates of food nearly trips over them.

And that's just one day. Obviously it's not the fault of the toddlers but when my kids (3 under 4 so not easy) were that age I constantly had to talk to them about turn taking etc. Yeah of course it's hard work but that's how they they learn. Just getting fed up of older children being expected to tolerate this behaviour and parents finding it funny and cute! I suspect my DD is probably mildly autistic and although she coped ok with all this I could tell it was frustrating her as she always waits her turn, I'm sure that would be annoying for any child. I am always torn between showing my kids a balance of being tolerant but also standing up for yourself and not being a people pleaser which I probably am guilty of.

The worst one I saw recently was at 2 of my kids' trampolining club award afternoon where the coach was making a speech and a toddler was being allowed to run around between the kids and not sitting with parents in spectator area. The kids found it funny so were giggling while the poor coach was trying to make a nice speech about the kids, she was clearly pissed off, fair enough! Again all attention on this toddler with the parents doing nothing to stop it and looking on at the toddler all gooey eyed!

Has anyone else noticed this trend?

You would let your toddler stand at the bottom of a slide, so that nobody could use the slide?

Or walk over to another child in a sandpit and knock over their creation?

I haven’t forgotten what the toddler stage is like. I am currently living it. I love this age, but they do need constant monitoring and distraction from mischief.

I think the simple way to look at it is that toddlers will do crazy things because they are toddlers and learning about the world and don't know better. In my view that is even MORE reason for parents to be keeping a close eye and to intervene if necessary. Sometimes all it will take is some distraction. Toddlers being toddlers is not an excuse for lazy parenting. A parent on their phone while their kid is running around unsupervised and causing havoc is neglect.

Its completely different if a toddler is acting up and the parents are on it. From my that mum or dad gets all the respect in the world because parenting is hard and exhausting.

I agree with you OP, my Dd was never allowed to behave like that, it's not acceptable to behave like these examples around others, children need to be taught from.a young age, they can absolutely have fun without annoying others.

This!

It's also the feral screaming for no reason at all which drives me insane. My kids would share, take turns, use inside voices (most of the time), act in a calm manner even when running around and having fun! Then you've got these kids from toddler to early Comp age...just screaming...not crying, -screaming-! Just because they can! A group of thel scootered past my car the other day and I was waiting for my husband, reading a book and one of the kids just screamed for the sake of it! Like, feral growling scream...jumped out of my skin! Just why!? These are the kids whom are usually babysat by the local parks.

Having a toddler myself I don't agree with this post

'A barrel of laughs' for saying that parents should parent their children? Um... OK, then.

There was an achievement and progress assembly the other day for LKS2… some parents thought it was fine to let their 2 year olds run about and make noise while the children were doing their well-rehearsed speaking parts! Parents sit there chuckling at them ( the little ones) but don’t stop them! It’s so rude and frustrating! Why do people think this is OK?

Some cafes are like a kids playground. People walking around with hot drinks and kids running wild while the parents don't care or have a clue what they are up to. Coffee #1 Witney I am mainly looking at you! Still go there though as they have the best cakes!

Err nope my DS wasn't like this and I taught him right from wrong and if he did start I removed him from the situation. We are the parents and they are the children. Why is everyone so scared to parent their kids!

OP is far from being smug; she acknowledges that toddlers can be hard work, but you sound like one of the parents she's talking about. Allowing toddlers to be a nuisance because you won't deal with screams and tantrums is not always a good thing.

And therein lies the problem 😏

glad i never had kids.

I work in a reception class. A lot of the children have clearly been allowed to behave like the toddlers in the OP’s post, it makes for an interesting time in the classroom. I am exhausted!

Yep. My adult son and I went to the natural history museum at Tring. It was a weekday and few people there but 2 women with 2 small children managed to ruin it.

The children, aged around 3, were running up and down (wooden floors + cavernous building = incredible noise) and shrieking. My son and I actually couldn't hear each other speak.

I put up with it for ages and then snapped ...
" My son and I are trying to enjoy this museum and we can't because of the noise of your children".

Her reply..."they're kids" with a shrug

I replied " NO, you need to parent them"

Yep I see this all the time with parents not being bothered to actually parent. I’m constantly shocked at parents not holding really young children’s hands and letting them wander behind on a road and also not watching them at parties whilst they go and nick food and baby bottles off other people.
My son is 4 so not long been out of the toddler phase and there’s no excuse for the behaviour you’ve described (in terms of the parents not children).

But people are more talking about the behaviour of the parents in relation to the behaviour of a toddler. I have a 2 year old. If she stands at the bottom of a slide when there are children at the top, I move her. I don't just stand there. My child writes on restaurant walls with a crayon? She's told no and the crayons are removed. Jumps on a trampoline which is one child at a time when said child has been waiting on their turn? I remove my child immediately.

FlingthatCarrot and WishingPlenty The OP gave examples of not just one but several instances where parents did not respond quickly or at all to their children's troublesome or dangerous behaviour. That doesn't mean the OP sees her children as perfect. I expect they did naughty or unwise things sometimes but she feels that, as far as possible, parents should react quickly in such instances. And I agree with her.

That's excellent!

I think it’s a certain generation to be honest. I’m mid forties with a 10 and 14 year old. My parents would never allow me to run amok or misbehave and I have brought my kids up that way. It’s the engaging with your kids I think they have an issue with and don’t appear to want to and can’t be arsed to. They want to happily continue their grown up lives with as little inconvenience and interference as possible and it’s shown in their kids behaviour. When you have a word, which I have had to do over the years, you are met with attitude, laughed at and sometimes aggression. It’s common for toddlers to run about and get into bother as that’s how they learn, parents job is to correct certain behaviours and teach them from a young age what is and isn’t acceptable in different settings, this is lacking hugely in todays society.

Aree you suggesting parents shouldn't attempt to manage, discipline and teach their toddlers appropriate behaviour for fear of having to deal with tantrums? You do realise that dealing with toddler tantrums is part of parenting?

Was walking my dog the other morning and along came a neighbour with his 3yo son. He stopped to let the dog and say good morning. The child kicked his dad and his dad’s shopping bag repeatedly whilst demanding to leave. My neighbor ignored this and then proceeded to tell me how intelligent his son is and that his behaviour is that of a strong willed child who he tells “ You can one day rule the world” Ffs 🤦‍♀️ poor sod🤐

YANBU. Although to be fair I don't know if parents of yore were better at controlling their kids because I wasn't focusing on them then.

But there do seem to be a lot of very permissive parents around. I saw a little girl aged about 2 trample all over a patch of wildflowers at Kew Gardens whilst her parents watched fondly on, completely ignoring the sign that actually said with an explanation, "Please do not allow your child to walk on these flowers". 🙄

What a load of rubbish! It's pure lazy parenting, teach both yourself and your kids ( if you've got them ) some common decency

I'm not sure whether some parents fail to introduce boundaries because they're afraid to or they just can't be arsed. Whichever it is, they're likely to end up with self-entitled monsters whose first words will always be 'I want'.

@Wishingplenty its not the child’s behaviour that’s the point of this thread, it’s the parents inability/unwillingness to parent.