If you are an overnight guest in someone's home do you treat the bedroom you're staying in as though it's one of the communal areas?

[bluebirdholiday]

Genuine question,

Am just back from staying with a friend in the states. So I was a guest in their apartment, had a bedroom of my own. The apartment is all on one level and 'my' room was tucked away right at the end so not off a main thoroughfare.

I only had a small carry on bag of stuff as only there for a long weekend, but I guess I had things out in the room. Not dirty socks or whatever, but stuff on the dressing table and maybe I'd draped my clothes over the back of the chair.

Anyway, she had visitors over and really told me off about my 'messy' bedroom and how I had to tidy it up as people were coming over and they'd be in there.

I'd honestly never heard of this before. If I have house guests I don't go in to their bedrooms while they're staying let alone ask them to pack away all traces of their stuff?

I ask genuinely if AIBU as I'm not sure if this is an American thing, a general thing or I am nbu to have expected that I could put my things out in the guest bedroom.

I think guest rooms occupy a sort of in between place; less private than the host's bedroom, but still more the guest's than any other room in the house. In this case pretty private, given the setup. But you are still a guest in their house. And even in an official guest room the host may want to pop in for something that's stored in a cupboard. But yes, I leave my stuff all over the room when I'm a guest.

Also I absolutely offer up the house tour! Maybe I'm just in the stage of life where it's still an exciting thing that I have my own flat.

I mean it's different if you're sleeping in someone's home office that doubles as a guest room, or if their house is on the market for viewings, or it's a heritage house with visitor tours. In any of these cases people might need specific and limited access to a guest room. If I were staying as a wedding guest, I'd probably have strewn the room with clean clothes while changing my mind about outfits, but tidied up just before leaving.

Well if she’s an LPR (green card holder) she won’t be voting for anyone. You said she’s a “Kamala voter” (despite the fact that no one actually voted for Kamala - she was nominated by the party). Only citizens can vote here.

And how did the room become “messy”, at least messy enough for her to comment on it, if you were only there for a long weekend?

This story has more holes than a Swiss cheese.

Are you just bored, OP, and decided to stir up a bit of anti-American froth (easily done on this site, by the way)?

Are you seriously this bored that you want to come on to a very mundane thread and accuse someone of making stuff up about something as boring as this?

Read the opening post - I had a carry on bag, stuff on the dressing table and clothes on the chair, there was no 'mess'.

Yes, Kamala voter is the wrong terminology then - I guess no one is yet a Kamala voter as no one has cast a vote yet. So she's a Kamala supporter. I stand corrected.

As to the rest of your stirring up anti American sentiment stuff, words fail me. It's a thread about something very dull that you really shouldn't have allowed to upset you so much.

How bizarre. If I'm a guest I keep the room reasonably tidy, but most of my overnight visitors leave stuff lying around all over the spare room and bathroom, and I don't mind at all. I feel free to go in their room if I need to, knocking first of course but wouldn't let anyone else go in there. There's nowt so strange as folk.

Yeah that's weird, I'd want you to make yourself comfortable in the bedroom (within reason obviously)

I'd expect to keep it tidy but I also wouldn't expect to have anyone else in there for the duration of my stay.

Can you provide examples of the 'anti-American froth' please?

You are the one that sounds bored enough to analyse the OP's post to find 'more holes than a Swiss cheese'.

It is clear from the OP's posts that the room was not messy enough for her host to comment.

In the few houses I was ever in, in the States there was always a bedroom where you were told to put your coats/bag etc. I wonder was that the room that was normally used for that.