To ask for your tips in not becoming bitter?

[pomegranaterouge]

Namechanged.

Anyone else seem to have a disproportionately unfair amount of 'bad shit' happen to them compared to their friends? I try to keep perspective - I frequently remind myself that I'm not living in a war zone, my children are alive, I'm not crossing the channel on a small boat, I don't have terminal cancer...

HOWEVER, it feels like I've had (and continue to have) a far, far more challenging and stressful life than pretty much everyone I know! Think - early and sudden death of parent, severe mental illness of sibling, wider family estrangement, one of my dc has a serious medical condition etc etc. Among all this there's been some less serious, but still highly stressful 'challenges' around money, career, DH's family, my own health and more.

Among my (admittedly privileged) group of lovely friends, I've had the roughest time by a long, long way. Yet ANOTHER very stressful thing happened to me earlier this week (I won't go into details as it's all quite raw and traumatic still) and I feel like shaking my fist at the sky.

I adore my friends who are very supportive, but sometimes I feel like I want to curl up in a ball and hide away, rather than be this person who they inevitably have sympathy for again and again and again.

I also feel jealous about the relative ease of their lives compared to mine - and worry I am becoming bitter and exhausted. I don't want to be. Can anyone relate, and can anyone help?

Thanks so much for all the kind words and advice. Those who can empathise- I’m so sorry you’ve also been through some incredibly sad and difficult times, and thank you particularly for offering your words of wisdom on how you manage.

As well as the perspectives on being in this situation, I’ve really appreciated the tips on what ‘helps’ people get through it. I will definitely be trying to follow your advice, particularly when it comes to self care - when I am stressed I have a tendency to forgo exercise, stop eating properly and drink a bit too much…so I’ll be focusing on those things, as well as getting back to therapy when I can afford it! Thanks again..

I get it OP, I have a colleague who in the last 18 months lost both parents and a sister. Another has lost 6 family members, including 2 siblings in 2 years.

What a shitshow. I cannot imagine the inner strength they have had to draw on, just to keep getting up each day.

I think the worst thing anyone can do though, is start thinking 'poor me'. It's rare for anyone to sail through life completely untouched, however there's definitely a distribution curve on the severity!

Drawing on your inner resilience is key, and, like you already do, realise that whilst it may not be happening to your inner circle, there are millions of others around the world having a worse time than you.

Wishing you the best OP.