To laugh at the request to be godparents

[Woollypullover]

My friend's daughter, who we've been very close to throughout her life, has asked me and DH to be her baby's godparents.

We're both atheists and of course, therefore, didn't have our own DC christened.

She knows all of this, but still asked.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous request?

Ditto

But that's on the people getting married. The congregation don't have to make promises they don't believe in at a wedding.

I'd happily be a guide /supporter at a naming ceremony. Just not at a religious ceremony where I don't believe what I am being asked to promise to support.

It’s an ordinary request not some kind of weird aberration. You sound surprisingly angry given that asking you is a compliment and a sign of trust.

I'm not religious but I wouldn't want you guiding my child. You sound sneery and up your own arse.

I don't think that most atheists are laughing at their religious friends' beliefs. I'm certainly not. The ones that are are arrogant, superior twunts (sadly all too common amongst atheists).

Perhaps, though, it's not the best idea to ask atheist friends to be godparents, however well-meaning the gesture is.

What a horrible thing to do for something that is essentially saying they see you as family.

OP you are coming off really strangely.

Are you sure you are as close to them as you say? Because you are coming across quite hostile towards them.

DH and I were once asked to be Godparents for a friend's child - BECAUSE we were atheists!

Long story short, she was trying to block her mother from pressuring her into having her cousins as godparents - her devout cousins, who would undoubtedly take the role of godparent VERY seriously.

Is there something of that nature in play here?

Your attitude is the kind of thing that gives atheists a bad name.

Someone important in your life and who you presumably love, has paid you the compliment of asking you to have this role (that they see as important) in their child's life. Sneering and laughing at her is completely unnecessary.

I'm an atheist. If someone asked me to be a godparent, is simply say "I'm really touched that your asked me, and I'll always be there for your daughter, but I think that you need to ask someone of faith, as I wouldn't be able to make the religious promises that I'd be asked for"

And I genuinely would be touched.

I think the unpleasant bit is being derisive about someone else's beliefs or decisions. OP does not know reasons for christening DD, it may be that one of the parents is a Christian; it may be about choosing schools (church schools usualy - but not always - require baptism); it may be that they want to please family who want a celebration of the birth of a grandchild. All those are valid reasons for a baptism and also give said DD the choice later to follow a religious path if that suits them, from a position of already being a member of a church. Laughing at the request to be a godparent - an honour - is just nasty. If OP's friend comes across this OP is going to cease to be a friend. And will deserve that - laughing at other people's beliefs is never a good look.

She is definitely asking the wrong people! You have to make religious promises during the baptism. You are best to decline and explain why

It's an odd request given the context, but also says that she thinks a lot of you imo. If you literally laughed at her then I think YABVU and probably quite hurtful towards her.

As you don't practise any religion then you wouldn't actually be welcome to accept the title anyway

You're still being sneery

Wonder how she'd feel reading your posts

You're very sneery about all this, aren't you, OP?

I'm an atheist and a godmother too. I know that it is nowadays viewed as a secular role, and it's nice to be asked. My two DCs also have godparents, one set are of a non-Christian religion and one set from a different church to the one I was brought up in.

Given how very superior you are, this might be a lucky escape for your friend's daughter.

Decline if you feel like it's something you morally couldn't do.

In Ireland pretty much everyone I know has had their children baptised despite them being atheist or agnostic. So we're all godparents too. It's just a title but I've been honoured anytime I've been asked because it's shown the parents held me in esteem.

It seems that even though God is in the title it's not really viewed as a religious thing anymore for a lot of people (despite it being in a church). So I don't find it particularly odd that an atheist was asked.

Before I had children I did ask my cousin when I was pissed to be godfather to my hypothetical kids but he told me to ask someone else because he was a staunch atheist. Also BIL when having my nephews baptised refused to speak through the vows because of his beliefs. He had his children baptised because his mother was tearing her hair out at the thought of them not being committed into the Catholic church.

Baptism is about welcoming a child to the church family and a Godparent promises to bring them up in the church and keep them on the Christian path. There are no other ‘reasons’ to have a christening theologically.

She isn’t laughing at the beliefs, she’s laughing at the hypocrisy to ask a non believer something to which she can’t ascribe. Which is right. It is laughable. Everyone here who is baptising children and not intending to nurture them spiritually within the church is doing it for all the wrong reasons. Especially if you’re only doing it to get a school place!

As a Christian myself I find it quite depressing that people are so arrogantly brazen about lying in church in front of their friends and family.

Yes, it's ridiculous, but just explain to them that you wouldn't feel right being godparents as you're not religious. No need to laugh or for any drama.

We don't live in a Christian country

That still makes no sense.

Op believes god doesn’t exist therefore he can’t be anything.

Op has decided he is a malevolent character. But how has she come to that conclusion? God, for people who believe in him, isn’t a character. And they don’t believe he is malevolent.

Characters from novels or films are written entirely from their creators perspective. There is no one perspective of God. No one writer whose word is the final edit.

Unless you believe Op was comparing God to Film character. Because that would also be foul and sneery. Being an atheist is an entirely valid choice. Being a dickhead to other people because they believe differently and sneering about their beliefs, isn’t a valid choice.

Where do you live?

I agree. People having naming ceremonies and all sorts with godparents. My son is a godfather and agnostic.

Don't laugh, your friend's daughter sees you as special people on whom she can rely if need be. That's a compliment. You can be a godparent with a small 'g'.

Sneering and laughing at those who do believe suggests you wouldn't be a good candidate for the role anyway.

If it's just a naming ceremony, why have it in a church and why all the promises about religion and that god guy?

I doubt OP would have a problem being asked if it was being done as a purely secular event at a secular venue.