To be envious of these female Doctors

[Choosingbetweenthousandsofmediocresandwiches]

Dd has been ill recently so we’ve had to go to a range of different private specialists.
Ive noticed the majority were female-amazing, but also that they were young, good looking, trendy etc. The child psychiatrist was wearing smart clothes-wide legged trousers etc, but with really nice Gazelles and she walked out to my dream car. The female gp we have is beautiful, so kind and warm and was saying her husband was a psychiatrist etc.
I’m not one to be jealous or superficial normally, but I think them also obviously being very smart and the list of their educational achievements makes me more envious. I wish I’d studied harder at school, instead of having too much fun with my friends, in a way.
I don’t know, I felt a bit rubbish as a 40 something mum with my Primark bag, fairly old Quasqui and mediocre teaching career.

there's always time to retrain in something new if your feeling a bit bored or stuck.

all my Dr friends are extra stylish as well :)

Good for him. There are several career paths that are very well paid and normally chosen by academically high achievers for precisely that reason. It's disingenuous to suggest doctors don't earn well though; perhaps they should earn more and certainly in other countries they do but from graduating they're on a very decent salary (considerably higher than the base rate you sometimes see quoted because of pay for unsociable hours which essentially all rotations bar GP come with).

I used to have this envy of female doctors! It was when i getting medical help myself, and I would look at these women longingly, wishing for their brains/energy/health/education/looks, and their level of normality. I was really very unwell, mentally and physically, and I wanted everything they had, but it was all out of reach for me for a lots of different reasons.
I’m too old to retrain now, but I have improved a lot health-wise, and I’ve found contentment.
I do know exactly where you’re coming from!

I work with dozens of doctors, many of whom no longer practice medicine but work in related fields.

It's not a dream job. It pays well enough, very well in some countries, but comes with a lot of stress, anti social hours, and as many of them have said to me involves a lot of 'patching them up and sending them back out to be damaged again'. Doctors are also expected to do more and more with increasingly limited resources, and rarely have the time to give each patient the time and attention that they would like.

None of the doctors I know are glamorous or stylish at all. Of my stylish glamorous friends one works in a museum, one works front of house in a hotel, one is employed by her husband as admin in his business. None are in highly paid or particularly demanding jobs.
I think you are being biased by your admiration for their role and projecting that onto their looks and clothes. Probably if you saw them in the street you would perceive them differently.

tbf all the teachers i know are well put together and fairly glam with good hair, nails etc.

I think it's only teachers who think that they aren't respected.

They are respected.

I just went to a writing meetup, and one of the ladies there was a teacher. She was the only teacher at the meetup.

One of the men said something and then he said "but Anne would be the best one to ask, she would know far more about that than me, as she is a teacher".

I'm afraid I just find your reaction odd. Extremely odd! Who feels jealous of others when they're a grown ass adult in their 40's!!??

Lots of people, for eg when lonely or insecure people browse SM they often feel envious and not good enough due to the way SM presents information etc

@HiEarthlings I’m not lonely or insecure, quite happy actually, I just felt a little envious, I had admiration for them and imagined being an intelligent and glamorous Dr for a bit 😂don’t know if it’s that weird or shocking

I have a lot of medic friends and they all look in desperate need of a sabbatical. NHS workload, nights, and young kids is not a pretty combination.

I am married to a doctor. Would I want to be one? Hell no. My kids are equally adamant they’d hate it too.

If you want to devote your entire life to a job that’s the job that will swallow you up the most.

😂
I am a full time (actually 120% of full-time hours) and a private doctor. Lots (most) private consultants work in the NHS, many full-time until after several years they may cut back.
We do a fuck-tonne of work: clinical, managerial, audit, research, teaching, clinical risk, guidelines, patient pathways, multidisciplinary meetings etc etc.
The majority of us work hours beyond our contracted NHS time.

I am a full time (actually 120% of full-time hours) - this in the NHS

Hmme, if your not in the UK maybe they are relaxed enough to be glamorous and not stressed...
Oh and the 'smart/intelligent' thing. It's a bloody party trick, or a randomly distributed trait like being tall or having fabulous tits... It doesn't make you a better person in fact I know too many consultants who are are not very nice people. Plus plenty of smart people don't get born into the right circumstances to capitalise in it and make their way to cats like medicine. There is a shit load of luck in life (although the successful often like to claim thier success is due to their own brilliance).

It's not odd. 40's is often a time of reflection, and sometimes regret.

But there's no point op. You can only look forward so be inspired or be proud of your own achievements.

I never thought I felt jealous.

But I was at an art workshop the other day, and I did feel something. And I thought of this thread.

We were all talking about careers, and one of the women said that she was a neuropsychiatrist.

I didn't feel jealous.

But I kind of felt a bit ashamed of myself, that I hadn't achieved that much In life, and my job wasn't as good as hers.

I felt lesser than her.

I think it's because we are taught to see education as so important.

It's not good when it makes you feel lesser than someone, with a better education than us though.

Yup I'm first in the family to go to uni... anyone asking my parents for tips to get into med school... their only reply is fine a different career path!

I am a doctor and my background is very very far away from that.. parents who fought, my Mum spent most of my childhood under psych care, father was alcoholic… it was awful and I still have the scars.
Professionals job is to look calm and competent but doctors have a very high rate burnout, depression and suicide.
I also had multiple miscarriages, never managing to be a Mum despite multiple fertility treatments.
Medicine has made me wise though.. I know that in the end what matters is the people close to you.
Hope your child ( and you) get all the help you need.

Yea my partner works in IT wfh.... is on triple my Dr salary for about 25h a week (despite me working 48-65h a week and commuting 3h a day

Bear in mind though that you are seeing private specialists. They will be earning a lot more than NHS specialists, who themselves aren’t badly paid at all, hence they can afford those nice clothes and cars.

I am one of those doctors...I'd like to say a huge thank you to the OP...there are usually horrible doctors bashing threads on mn...one running at the moment at a 15 yr old making a scene at GPs.
It's lovely to hear someone saying something nice.

I have huge respect for doctors and teachers. Honestly I would class them all in the same group, university educated doing important jobs. I remember having a workman at my house who was talking about his friend, a teacher. He spoke about them like they were the most intelligent person on the planet and the last word on everything. Basically some people think about teachers in the same terms you think about these doctors.

Agree. There are some really lovely comments in this thread.

An interesting thread thank you!

Another doctor (GP) here and I often think how stylish many of my medical friends and colleagues are. I on the other hand drive an old Qashqai (inside is disgustingly grubby) and never look ‘put together’ even if I try. I do follow the style and beauty threads with great interest but unfortunately think I’m just destined to be a ‘messy’ person. Oh and I love Primark!