To not want to go to the airport 3 hours before?

[JennaRink]

Since we started dating he has always been strict about time keeping. Was always very early to our dates and he's on the spectrum.

We are going for a long weekend next week, the flight is 2 hours. He says he wants to go 3 hours before the flight.

I don't want to do this. I haven't come from a family that spent 3 hours in the airport and I never go earlier than 2. I see it as a waste of time.

But it seems ridiculous not to go together. On the other hand, why should I agree to go at his time?

I wonder if what perhaps has irked OP is the framing of it.

Certainly, I find there to be a lot of presumption on this thread:
Just get there early,
Just get a drink or a meal beforehand
Just browse the shops

What a lot of people are minimizing is that the OP (a) doesn’t want to, and (b) wants it recognized as being quite a big ask when (c) she sees that most of you feel that she would owe it to you because of your ‘Anxiety’, and not as a politeness being extended to you, at the inconvenience of others.
Certainly it irks me just reading this how most cannot recognize, never mind acknowledge that not being there super early is also valid.

Agreed. You are generally action the plane 30 mins or so before leaving.

Now on way back you are more at the mercy of transfers if they are included. Ie my tui return flight, they told us when to be on coach so they dictated it all. Same with when I have had transfers in day Orlando -the carrier wants you on their transport early to avoid issues of you blaming them for missing it.

I also get the annoyance of being late to check out of accommodation-I worry that we will be charged extra and it's also a bit rude if the cleaners will be coming in as soon as you leave. So I prefer to stick to the rules and be out before the agreed time.

You don’t need more than 2 hours . It’s ridiculous and a waste of time. I’m someone who arrives at our small regional airport an hour before . DH is a bit like your boyfriend and we compromise to 1 hour 15 for local airport and 2 hours for Europe.
But you do need to make sure it is 2 hours and not 90 mins . Don’t humour him or you will be doing it forever…

I find there are two camps.

The first feels that the 3 hours recommended is for other people and turn up when they like expecting the plane won't take off without them. A lot of the time it works out fine until it doesn't and it can be a miserable or expensive mistake if you miss a flight.

The second thinks what if there is traffic, or a big queue or some other thing that is not in their control and factors excess timings. Most of the time they are in the airport for ages but occasionally it means they get their flight when otherwise they would have missed it.

I prefer the latter as I know if shit hits the fan I have time to still get there. Personally if someone insisted they wanted to chance a short time I would just make my way there on my own knowing if they missed the flight I would still get my holiday.

1.5 is usually fine. The problem is if you get stuck in traffic getting there, and your 1.5 hours shrinks to 45 minutes. Then it's cutting it very fine indeed as most airlines want you at the gate at least 30 minutes before boarding, although they often start boarding later than that.

Hence why I aim for 2.5 and that allows for an hour's delay in traffic.

Also we're talking about UK airports here, so only have to get through (checking in bags) and security and that's it. Easily done in 20 minutes at LHR if no significant queues and even faster elsewhere.

But most EU countries check passports leaving, and the queues can be very slow. So you need to allow time to check in larger bags if you are doing that, time for security AND time for passport control. I've flown out of Copenhagen since Brexit/Covid (2022) and security took 40 minutes and passport control 30 (even the EU passport queue was slow and probably took at least 15). The 2 hours looks much less over the top when you consider that. We got to the gate and got straight onto the plane, that has never happened to me before.

What time have you been told to go for. It's usually 3 hours for a long haul flight. When flying trans Atlantic we usually go 3 hours before. If only a 2 hour flight you may find check in isn't open that early if you are checking in bags. You will have a wait until you get called when your gate is opened. Depends too on the airport what facilities are there.

I can't stand being in an airport any longer than I need to be, I'm yet to have a nice meal at any airport so I don't understand the comments saying go early for that

Just go earlier what difference does an hour make in the grand scheme of things.

Yes, because you in particular have annoyed me.

Your comment about Women pandering to men was absolutely ridiculous. This is nothing to do with gender, yet you bring gender into it. Do you have a chip on your shoulder?

This is about understanding ND needs and then helping, not hindering.

Women pandering to men my arse!!!

Don’t see the issue and why wouldn’t you if it’s to support your partner also. Have an extra coffee and enjoy some duty free browsing.

Sorry but shut up and put up or get rid of him. More people prefer leaving early than cutting it tight.

I’d do you and let him do him. You both need to find common ground and it doesn’t look like you will. I’m with you on not wanting to bend, especially the way he’s asked/told you, if it becomes long term then you will have set firm boundaries in this regard because he will keep wanting control and if compromise isn’t going to happen on either side, this is what life will keep throwing at you.
Im all for compromise but the delivery sounded arsey for a start and you have to nip this control thing in the bud. Show him that your wants and needs are also valid and he can’t always do what he wants.

This is your compromise. It won't be as busy as the terminal and you can relax and start your holiday in style.

If you let me know what airport I may be able to recommend one.

My ex used to love spending time at the airport and get there early .
First holiday I had with my kids resulted in us missing out flight home because I’d failed to get there in enough time .
Im sure he laughed when my kids told him !
🤦🏽‍♀️

I always get there three hours before and book an airport lounge. It’s relaxing, I have something to eat and unwind from the journey to the airport. And it’s frankly cheaper to contain my my teen DDs and stop them raiding Pret, WH Smith, Boots etc. I don’t think three hours is unreasonable. It often takes the best part of an hour to get through security & budget airlines want you at the gate forty minutes before boarding…

the irony

It depends on which airport it is. If you're flying long haul from Heathrow then 3 hours is not actually that unreasonable. If you're flying from Southampton, for example, then getting there 3 hours early would be madness.

If you know that arriving any later makes him anxious, why not just go with it? It's only an hour, and with the state of the security check at the moment, I don't think having extra time is such a bad thing!

I am not a massive fan of being coupled up in a busy place. However, we do aim to go to the airport 3 hours before because if there are traffic delays we are not then concerned about those as we have plenty of time.

Equally, we have learned to make a bit of an event out of it having breakfast/lunch/dinner as I would rather eat in the airport than cramped up on a plane TBH (unless long haul where that can’t be helped of course), have a mooch around the shops and if we need to sit my DH will try and help find somewhere a bit quieter so I don’t feel too crowded out, but I find headphones and a book help.

We also sometimes holiday as a group of 8 and everyone has always kind of done the same, it just saves any worry if there’s a hold up in the way there and allows you to be less rushed overall.

Excuse to go to the bar for a pre flight g&t surely!?!