To not want to go to the airport 3 hours before?

[JennaRink]

Since we started dating he has always been strict about time keeping. Was always very early to our dates and he's on the spectrum.

We are going for a long weekend next week, the flight is 2 hours. He says he wants to go 3 hours before the flight.

I don't want to do this. I haven't come from a family that spent 3 hours in the airport and I never go earlier than 2. I see it as a waste of time.

But it seems ridiculous not to go together. On the other hand, why should I agree to go at his time?

Agree.

I don't think he's being unreasonable.

I'm one of those habitually last minute people dashing around like a headless chicken so I ALWAYS make sure there's ample time allowed for "just in case..." because missing a flight is no fun, like others have said take the extra time to have a jar/coffee or a mooch around the shops, this seems ridiculously small to fall out about tbh

@JennaRink I know compromise is a two way thing but in this scenario I'd go with the 3 hours & not just to keep the peace but honestly airports are so unpredictable

But you're not asking for a compromise? You say 2, he says 3... the compromise would be 2.5hrs before.
My partner is a bit lastminute.com - until we had a puncture on the way to Stanstead and missed the flight.... now he's happy to leave home in plenty of time

Why not book N airport lounge, but of a treat & work out quite cost effective as all food & drink is included.

Sorry but I'm another who thinks this relationship is doomed. You both seem to be pulling against each other rather than working to support each other.

Going on holiday is meant to be exciting and lovely and you are meant to want to spend time with your partner wherever that is. If you can’t even do this for him then wow! Get there early and make it the start of the holiday and your time together

Absolutely this.
Have you travelled recently, OP?
it’s chaotic sometimes.
Are you an anxious traveller?
You sound like you want to
minimise the time at the airport to cause you less stress
So you are your bf are opposites.

I mean will you be less anxious when you miss your flight?

Approximately 5%-8% of people miss flights and I bet they all thought they had plenty of time.

Bare in mind for example London Heathrow (just 1 airport) had 79,200,000 passengers come through last year (thats more than the population of the UK) that means just that airport alone MILLIONS of people statistically missed their flight. Its really not a rare occurrence but always seems to surprise people.

Going early is never an issue.

I'd always aim for 3h before in case of stuff going wrong with the journey stealing my security queue going wrong fudge time.

Some airports now have signs saying 20 minute wait for a manual check of your bag if the x-ray pings it for whatever reason, plus depending on timings the queues can be unhelpful as well, especially security.

You'd be more likely to convince him to drop his arrival time by an uneventful trip with time to get bored in the airport than a stressed time in all the queues.

So do you always want him to do it your way instead then. You said you didn’t want to set a precedent and always do it his way but you are the same always wanting it done your way

While it may drive the OP a bit mad, it is only an hour and that can dwindle down with delays and so on.

He is autistic. His brain doesn't work like yours does. You may annoy HIM intensely with the things YOU want to do. It is yin and yang.

An hour won't kill you for any airport situation ever. I think you are stamping your feet because you think he is directing your life for you, but he doesn't see it that way and if you care for him, you will accept that, and if you don't, you either go separately or actually separate. That's all you can do.

No, she isn’t. She’s asking for a compromise after doing things his way on a few other things.

Will getting to the airport 2 hours before a European flight really kill him?

Unless you're very lucky and travel A LOT you are only going to have to 'compromise' three, maybe four times a year, so 4hours in total?... I'm sure throughout the year there would be times where he would compromise to make things easier for you? And if this doesn't happen, then maybe its time to wonder if this is a good relationship for either of you to be in.

I'll look into this.

Never been in one!

Yes. I realise being neurotypical doesn't make me not annoying. 🙂

Exactly, she’s willing to compromise.

Did he say no to this compromise? I can't see this anywhere.

My partner and I are not on the spectrum and we are both always at the airport 3 hours before and we are always on time to places/ meetings/checking it out of hotels etc. Someone who is late or lax about timings would drive me nuts.

Nothing wrong with your way but it will become a bigger and bigger issue as time goes by and life becomes busier and more chaotic.

Just go to the airport by yourself. Let him do what he wants and you do what you want. Although it takes the shine off a trip together if you can't even travel to the airport together.

I have never got to the airport more than 2 hours before a European flight and I have never been late either. For flights to Dublin I get to the airport an hour before. Other colleagues seem to aim for gate opening time!

For me this would very much depend on the airport and how you are getting to it.

Heathrow on a Friday night by taxi - the traffic will be a bloody nightmare and the security queues awful, allow 3 hours. Or better, do what we did and never fly out of Heathrow on a Friday evening again

6am flight from Norwich - an hour is fine.

You're getting an unnecessary hard time OP. I absolutely hate being in big, busy airports, they make me so anxious and I feel like I can feel the tension of everyone rushing around and anxious for their flight. Even sitting in a bar feels unnatural to me there, with the departure gate screen in your line of vision the whole time. I don't think you should have to compromise if it's somewhere which literally makes you uncomfortable to be in. I'd just meet the partner there. The only issue is coming back. Have you got a transfer or something booked to the other airport? Will you be okay travelling alone there from your hotel?

You are being stubborn and unreasonable OP.

Your reasoning: I don’t want to because I’ve never done it before.

His reasoning: We might be late, there might be traffic, don’t want to rush, what if we get held up, what if something goes wrong, don’t want to rush, don’t want to feel pressured….

When you suffer with anxiety the list of worries is endless. Give him a break. An extra hour in the airport can easily be passed with a bit to eat and mooch around the shops.

Maybe it stresses him not allowing plenty of time at the airport!