AIBU to consider regular payments from DP (my kids dad) as child maintenance - even though we're still together?

[mummatoots]

DP and I are still together, but keep separate finances. (He is a financial mess.)

The house we live in is owned (and mortgaged) solely by me.

We have two young children together.

He pays me £500 per month - and with this I pay for everything related to housing, and also clothes, classes, haircuts, etc - anything else the kids need.

He tends to do supermarket shopping as well as this.

Would you class this as effectively child maintenance, albeit in an informal arrangement?

Or, in your view, can you only receive child maintenance if separated?

I ask because I'm looking at moving house, and if I do class this as informal child maintenance (easily evidenced with a few months payments on bank statements,) it is counted within affordability calculations, so helps my application. It's a real payment which I receive regularly from my kids dad towards their living costs, so I'm not making anything up and I think it should count - but I'm not sure if I'm correct in classing it as such, and suddenly have doubts re: mortgage fraud etc!

I've checked the CMS calculator, and if we were to separate and I were to have the kids full time, with his salary I'd be due £532 per month.

Interested in the mumsnet verdict.

You're looking at moving house? Are you taking him with you?
If you live together and share a house then no it's not maintenance. But if you're buying a house on your own with a solo mortgage you could call it maintenance and probably nobody would know. Do you really want to be with someone who contributes so little towards the family finances?

Kind of related-I was opening a new bank account yesterday amd was asked about outgoings. In relation to child maintenance it specifically said COURT MANDATED child maintenance so I think that’s all that would count

Do you mean you are going to move out without him so basically you are going to separate?

So how much does he pay towards bills and a roof over his head for himself? I highly doubt if you’re together it classes as maintenance.

If it’s child maintenance, where’s his contribution to your shared expenses?

His income entitles you to £532 CMS and he only gives you £500 a month while living with you. Does he do all the childcare and housework when he's not contributing to any household bills and is living rent free?

You'd be in a better position financially to afford a new mortgage with CMS and him not living with you.

I’m confused - will you be staying together? If so then no I don’t think your husband/partner contributing to living costs counts as child maintenance if you’re together and it’s not through CMS/courts

If you’re together and he’s moving too don’t the mortgage company ask about other adults in the household and their income?

and no I don’t think you can include it as child maintenance. It’s not what that means.

I could be wrong, but I think as it’s informal (whether is child maintenance/food contribution or rent) they won’t accept as t could end any time. If it’s court mandated then it’s gaurunteed income so would be in the affordability. Would be similar to your friend dropping 500 quid a month into your account, they wouldn’t consider that in the calculation unfortunately

If you are staying together then I presume it will be based on joint income.
You can’t count the income from his employer into his bank account and then income from him in your bank account as that would be double counting. Maybe I’m misunderstanding though as think you would have considered that.
I would advise against manipulating it to get a better mortgage as the affordability calculations are there for a reason.

editing as I’ve re read the OP and it says it’s owned solely by you. Maybe then your DPs salary isn’t taken into account. On that basis it seems more reasonable especially as it’s what he’d need to pay you if you did separate. It’s an unusual situation though and I suspect technically it wouldn’t count.

I think it would. You’re not married, he’s not on the mortgage nor does he make payments to it, but he does give you £500/month. I would say that is considered maintenance.

Are you moving house without him? Why does he pay less than the minimum CM if you weren't together? His salary is obviously decent based on that so surely he should pay more given that he lives with you

It’s not child maintenance if he’s still living with you. In black and white from the gov website.

You said the money he pays you goes towards housing. If he lives there isn’t that his housing?

I don't know anything about the current situation but it t sounds like something that might be worth pursuing.

I know It used to be possible to formally claim child maintenance when still together.

Back in the 80's unmarried couples who lived together could go to court for the father to pay child maintenance. This then allowed them to claim some sort of tax rebate. I can't remember the exact details but it was very popular amongst people from all walks.of life who didn't want to get married and were missing out on the married tax allowance of that time.
The loophole was closed decades ago but I don't know if claiming maintenance part is still possible.

I think the maintenance money had to be seen to be paid across to the mother's bank account, which is similar to what your DP is doing.

So you live with your partner and yet you're checking how much you'd get for maintenance from him and acting like the money he pays for bills is some sort of maintenance payment for the children? This situation is completely messed up and so illogical? You're either together or not, you can't pick and choose bits of each scenario.

We have a similar financial set up, when I bought my house DP had to sign a legal document as an adult living in the house to say he wouldn't try to stay if I sold it. His contribution towards bills wasn't counted as he could walk away at any time or just decide not to pay.

It's not income or maintenance as you are a couple. It's household income. I pay all the bills and my partner transfers me £2000 a month for his share. For things like loans and credit cards also UC applications when I was out of work it is classed as household income, but it wouldn't count towards personal income for mortgage purposes for me on my own. We had to do a joint application.

....or rent?

I think the affordability calculator is working on your income.
If he says he earns £2000 a month income then you couldn't declare £500 a month extra because your total household income isn't £2,500. You just use a proportion of the existing household income.
If you separated that would be different.

Surely whoever you're applying for the mortgage with will decide, isn't that how it works? Id ask them or your broker to get the right answer.

You're only entitled to that amount I'd he doesn't see his child though.
It clearly states the more someone sees their child the less maintenance they have to pay because they too are sharing costs when in their care.

Why is his name not on the mortgage too? This seems very controlling and if it ws the other way around mum's net would ll be complaining.

Of she's on such a high wage then time to sit down with him and split all bills 50_50. Have a joint account where a chunk.of wages are transfered for this.

Sounds fraudulent as you are together. Surely it's joint household income.

My mortgage company accepted informal maintenance payments with just evidence of bank statements

He is essentially paying you rent. How you divvy that up andcwhat you call it is up tp you, but it is not maintenance.
He pays to feed you all. That's extra to your 'arrangement', so more than the £532 that would be maintenance
What do you want? To live apart or to raise his payments?

No it's not as you live together. Sounds like you planning to leave him though so in that case it would.