AIBU to think Private School isn’t worth the expense?

[Macaronsandcupcakes]

In my area (Bristol) all the private schools I’ve spoken to have admitted they will eventually pass on the 20% VAT (I’m not objecting the govt policy). This means the cheapest school will be charging £7k+ per term. For one child from yr 7 to complete their GCSE’s it’ll be £110k.

I completely understand the schools get better grades, but other than grades why is it worth it? Has your child significantly benefited?

Articles I’ve recently read suggest that the anti private discussions are gaining momentum, both from universities & employees.

My partner is keen to send our children. But I need convincing.

My DH and a previous long term partner both went to private school from 8 years old to A levels. They are both medics. Obviously, they don't know any different but neither of them thought it seemed worth the money. Classes were smaller and some of the teaching would have been better (but not all, they both said they had some rubbish teachers) but neither of them feel it gave them any long term benefit.

Lots of good state secondary options in and around Bristol these days op, I wouldn't go for private.

@AttachmentFTWthanks for replying. I’m interested, if they’ve only experienced private, surely it’s virtually impossible to know how much /if they benefited. They may not be aware of the privilege they experienced? Do they have exposure to state schools now & would they send their kids to State?

Depends what you want from a private school?

Better educational attainment - really depends on your local options and school funding. I'm guessing state schools in Bristol probably do better for funds than very rural or schools in deprived areas? Not all private schools are created equal
Better SEN resources - school and disability dependent. Not all private schools are created equal
Better sporting or music facilities
Longer school days and holidays.
More wrap around care
Some sort of old boys/girls network - think this really only applies to the uber rich private schools.
An air of privilege and entitlement. Not to be goady but one thing private schools are very good at generally is building confidence and a level of self belief. Again, it's not guaranteed.

Ultimately, you could spend [from prep] £250k on your childs education and the outcome could still be a middle to lower income job. If you are paying simply for results, then you would probably get a safer return investing those sort of sums into an investment vehicle in trust for their first home or similar financial security.

Sorry OP but this is pointless.
Most parents who send their kids to indy will say it is good.
Most who send their kids to state will say its good.
There are a some who are extremely anti-indy and some who are extremely anti-state.
So the whole thing descends into a bun fight.

Do, or don't, do it but make your own mind up rather than biased (on both sides) responses.

Depends on your financial situation, money no object then private buys a good education but it's not good enough to get into financial problems for. Mostly what a private education buys you is the right friends, the contacts for the future - dp's classmates are senior figures in government, industry, banking etc. whereas my state school classmates are on benefits (stereotyping but true) minimum wage jobs, and at best middle management from my knowledge.

That just says a lot about your personal primary school, my primary school was great and my closest friends are doctor, a dentist, senior management. Private school obviously results in better contacts in many cases but it's just ignored to say state school results in benefits and rubbish jobs.

I understand, but I need to decide soon & I’m open to ideas. I’m in research overdrive & still so unsure. I don’t want a privileged child but I also don’t want to limit their potential. Clearly many parents think it’s worth the money.

The amount of scare stories I've read here on MN about state schools being like the 7th circle of hell. Yes, I'm sure there are some bad ones but there are lots of really decent ones. In my area (SE London) there's maybe 8 I'd send my child to and 1 I definitely wouldn't.

I was a bit terrified when my daughter went off to y7 but she's settled in and loves it. Private school is not an option for us, so I'm grateful.

We've yet to see what a Labour government will mean for schools, but if I had a child still in school (my oldest finished this summer) I would be very worried about state provision. My DC's (bog standard comp) school was good and trying its best but there were too many cover lessons and classes of 60 for my liking and it was getting worse by the day.

That said, when I did the sums for private school, and I suspect even now, with the above caveat in place, I thought that giving them the money as a young adult for university/training/car/house deposit would be more impactful than school fees. If you've got the money to do both it's obviously a different question.

To answer your point about limiting potential, the state schools will publish stats about GCSE/A levels plus progress 8.
They will also have info available about extracurricular activities.

My y7 does one after school club activity for 4 days of the week including:
LAMDA drama
trampolining club
debate club
writing club

they're all free. There's also lots of other clubs, including sports and music. Also free.

I'm state school educated and I really do believe that Private Education can give children enormous advantages.

Not just because they get a better quality of Education, but because I suspect the parents are far more likely to engage with their children's progress and encourage them to excel - after all, I'm sure they want their moneys worth!

MN is not the place to ask. Go look at the schools you have available to you and make a decision based on this. In the case of privates, go see them when the students are giving tours - you can decide if that resembles what you want from your DC as they grow up. Ask them questions - they are the best representatives for the school

as regards the last point about engagement in child's education... this comes entirely from the parent and can't be bought. I engage with my children's education and have done since birth.
They are all state educated.

It will be much more than £110k as fees go up as you get more senior in private schools and the schools add small increases on those rates each year in addition.

My DS experienced both state and private. Judging from his, admittedly limited, experience, I would say there's not as much of a difference as people would like to think!

agree with this but would encourage you to do the same for the state schools too

Totally depends on where in Bristol you are OP.

You have to compare individual schools, so the private you can access and the state you can access. You can't just generalise.

You then have to factor your actual child and what they are like.

And then the impact on your actual life, the job you do, the place you live, your pension.

Sorry my comment meant to look at both sectors as you can’t compare without doing so. However in my experience, state schools don’t do student led tours so speaking to the children in the school was not possible.

We chose indy cos live in NE where GCSE outcomes are poorest in country and local state at secondary are dire.
It's worth the money for us because:

• sport 5 days a week
• small class sizes ie 18
• excellent pastoral support
• calm learning environment with poor behaviour challenged and dealt with
• fantastic drama, music, art facilities
• broad curriculum free of restrictive NC
• positive relationships between students and teachers
• strong community feel
• range of extra curricular activities
• kids not picked on for doing well. Academic, sporting etc achievements celebrated and encouraged

My DS went to a "requires improvement" OFSTED rated state school and came out this year with 8s and 9s (and one 7) at GCSE. I can't imagine how he could have done better at private. Maybe he wouldn't have got that 7 😂

Probably depends on the child but mine doesn't have SEN, never experienced bullying and has always been a happy kid able to cope well with school, so maybe we just got lucky.

I went on several open days last year for state school and they all included student led tours.

All the open evenings of state schools I've been to have done student led tours.

For me, I just don't see what advantages could be worth £20K+ per year per child. If your child is reasonably bright and reasonably sociable, they'll do well anywhere. If not, perhaps private schools can offer advantages such as smaller classes and greater individual attention. But state schools also have advantages. There's a body of research which suggests that state schools better prepare students for university, and are better for social and emotional development. I also firmly believe that the increased diversity at state schools leads to more empathetic and tolerant members of society.

As for exam grades, students from private schools may get slightly better exam grades, but universities are aware of this, and many give contextual offers. Anecdotally, my eldest DD has two very good and lovely friends from (a highly ranked Russell group) university. They studied the same course and got the same degree classification. One went to state school, and one went to a very expensive private school (probably spent £200K on her education). But I'm sure there are many tales like this.