AIBU to think Private School isn’t worth the expense?

[Macaronsandcupcakes]

In my area (Bristol) all the private schools I’ve spoken to have admitted they will eventually pass on the 20% VAT (I’m not objecting the govt policy). This means the cheapest school will be charging £7k+ per term. For one child from yr 7 to complete their GCSE’s it’ll be £110k.

I completely understand the schools get better grades, but other than grades why is it worth it? Has your child significantly benefited?

Articles I’ve recently read suggest that the anti private discussions are gaining momentum, both from universities & employees.

My partner is keen to send our children. But I need convincing.

I was privately educated (from secondary), most of my peers are in some form of employment and a significant proportion gained further qualifications and work in a professional job after leaving school. The biggest scandal was the girl above us becoming pregnant at 15.

DP went to a bog standard comp in a lower socio economic area, some ended up with qualifications (including DP and his brother) but the criminals / beneficiaries / low paid jobs outweigh those who ended up in white collar work.

I dont have children yet but would only private educate at secondary, and even then if I lived a good area and the state school had a good reputation I would send my child there because it is a lot of money that could spent elsewhere on my child's future.

Additionally, although I would not say my experience of private was bad I was a student of parents who scrimped and saved to send their child private, and I struggled that many of my peers came from more wealthy backgrounds, and at times they could be stuck up / snobby. Although, these days I imagine there are many children of upper middle class families in similar boats.

I was privately educated because I am dyslexic and a summer born, and none of the schools in my local area catered to those needs, and which to their credit they gave me the learning support I required.

Haven't read the thread fully @Macaronsandcupcakes but imo it depends on various factors.

Depends on individual circumstances and individual child.

Depends on what school best fits your DCs needs - and that's not necessarily academic or grades.

It also depends on what the state schools are like where you are.

I disagree private isn't always worth the expense - but everyone has different priorities and needs - and financial circumstances.

If a family has the money and wants a school that best carers for their child's needs, they have two options.

A minority opt for the first option - private school.
The majority pay by buying a home near a good state

@Macaronsandcupcakes the key word here is 'BRISTOL' all the state options at secondary level are horrendous! The only half decent options are going down to Backwell or up to Katherine Lady Berkeley. It would mean a long commute even if you managed to secure a place! Pay! Please pay if you can afford it. BGS seems great, as does Collegiate and all the Clifton schools.

i don't think a happy childhood and decent grades can have any negative effects on a person no matter what the name of the schools you attended are.
education especially now is lifelong. the names of your primary or secondary schools mean very little globally.
but a person's mental health is priceless.

HOWEVER I should have also said that I don't send my own kids to my school! It's just not affordable for us, and my kids are happy enough at their local school for now.

This is the key part - it’s the journey, not the destination. Countless students receive outstanding results in the state sector but parents paying for private are paying for the learning environment. They all have different reasons for their decision as you can see from this thread alone.

There will be bright, easily adaptable children who would have had the same outcome whichever sector they were in (particularly if they have access to decent state schools). There will be others who don’t suit one environment but thrive in another.

Only you can judge what works for your situation. As a PP put it, having the funds for private gives you choice over where your child goes and that is the biggest advantage

no need for sarcasm. my point is that if there are good state schools nearby, then IMO private sch is not worth the extra... and some of us are not in a position to choose private anyway.

I think it is wrong to judge a school based on whether it is state or private. There are excellent state schools and excellent private schools, there are terrible state schools and terrible private schools.

What are you looking for in a school? Sport facilities, SEN, wrap around care, specific GCSE options, IT facilities, school trips and enrichment opportunities, music department, close to home, friendship groups etc etc. Then you consider schools in your area. Which ones tick your boxes and which ones don't. If a private school slightly trumps a state school you have to decide whether it trumps it by £110k.

Private school isnt an automatic ticket to success.

This is like asking if a hatchback is better or an SUV.
Some people value the economy and ease of parking, the green credentials, the lower insurance. Others value the prestige, the spaciousness, the high driving position.
But while many people can test drive both options, you can’t just test drive a school, so you have to rely on your own research and sense.

To us, it’s worth every penny.
The only state secondary that has places within ten miles of us has been in ‘requires improvement’ for over ten years.

Dd is in a wonderful private school with small class sizes, great teaching, loads of extra curricular opportunities and fantastic pastoral support.

I realise that we are very lucky that we can afford to have options. I’m not sure how many people who, if they could afford private, would choose to send their child to a school that clearly has long term challenges. I’m intrigued by the rationale of those who would.

I know teachers in the local area who have moved heaven and earth so that their child doesn’t have to go to that particular school.

So for us yes it’s worth every penny because the alternative is not great. If there were great state options in our area, we would have considered them.

I went to uni with a load of people who did not go to private school, plus one who did. It didn't make the slightest difference and in the end I came out with a higher degree than he did. In my opinion kids will do as well as they're willing/able to do no matter which school they're in.

Ugh I clicked post too soon and didn't press edit in time.

Ok so to finish my previous post.

For those with the financial means, there's two ways to pay for a good education/most appropriate school for your child's needs

• Private school

Or, the most commonly picked option:

• Buy a home near a good state school.

It's up the each family to decide which of those two options they prefer.

And yes, I know many many families can't afford either option - and a good way to address state school inequality would be to provide more social housing, that's spread out evenly across the UK. However that's not relevant for OP's question, I don't think, and I don't want to derail the thread so I guess that's a discussion for another thread.

my point is that money doesn't buy an engaged parent. An engaged parent can come from any income bracket and you can't use it in an argument about whether private sch fees are worth it.

Worth it for whom?

For the multimillionaire who hardly notices it or for the parents who sacrifice holidays and luxuries just to send their children private?

For the shy bullied girl who needs the support and structure of smaller classes and a high staff/pupil ratio or for the robust girl who will thrive and do well in any environment?

Education is so personal. It is worth it for some and not worth it for others.

Agree with the point made by many above that it depends, main factors being:

How rich you are
What are your state options like
What is your particular child like

Also agree that many parents pay by the back door, by moving into catchment for a sought after school, or tutoring heavily for grammar. However these options aren’t available in some areas.

@fizzwhizz1 completely came onto here to say the same

It honestly depends on how driven your child is. I was privately educated from 6-18. We lived in a well to do area where a lot of students got very good grades and were pushed by the school, but a fair number of students bombed as soon as they went to university and had to do something themselves without pressure from the school. Yes, it does give more resources, in some cases provides a network, and does definitely help with university selection processes. I'd carefully evaluate the student's ability to be a self starter after school, but especially the school's teachers/reputations (despite being private we had some truly awful teachers, who were so renown for being bad that parents privately funded tutors), and the age of the student. I don't think it made a hoot of difference until age 13+. You want to give them the best start, but I get the hesitation.

@Macaronsandcupcakes why would you not want to send them ?

how is it virtue signalling? I pointed out that the massive list of features mentioned by the poster were not exclusive to private schools.

Surely it depends on where you live in Bristol? My local state schools in Bristol are academically excellent. Those about 2 miles away don't have quite the same reputation but have some good SEN provision. So your location and your child's needs should help you decide

My DSis teaches in a private school, would get large discount on fees, but doesn't feel it's good value for money. Her children attend a good state school instead

It depends on the child, the schools etc

I do think some people focus on whether private school is affordable now, and don't stop to think what that £ could be used for in future eg house deposit

My kids at local but have nieces and nephews at private...depends on child, family and what alternatives are on option...turning a question like that into a yes or no answer sort of question is not representative of the fact it's blooming GREY

Gently OP, this is very subjective. It depends on many factors including

• quality of local state schools
• your child’s temperament
• What a financial stretch it will be
• personal politics

If you can easily afford it, the school seems like a good cultural and academic fit for your child and then go for it.

If you are politically averse to the concept of private schools, don’t see the point + would be financially stretched to do it. Then absolutely don’t.

We have chosen private schools for our 3 DC from reception onwards. Some of the reasons are

• small class sizes (16 in reception with two adults in the room all the time
• a really invested and involved school community - all the parents, whether they both work full time or one is at home - are deeply invested in attending school events, knowing each others families etc - I love having a community around my children that prioritises their safety and happiness
• facilities are undeniably better
• parent communication is easier because class sizes are smaller and staffing levels are higher.
• the pre prep is non selective and has an incredible SEN team - so whoever my children turn out to be they will have support around them.
• gut good feeling when I walked into the school
• we can afford it without making compromises that don’t feel good to us
• I’m happy to pay the VAT on what is ultimately a luxury good / service. We pay a significant amount of income tax without trying to dodge it - and I don’t feel bad about choosing it for my children. The aim of government should be to provide everyone with excellent education not to reduce access to a smaller group of people who can afford it.

no one else can make this decision for you!

I think if your kids are really smart they will thrive wherever they go with support from you. My two are well into their thirties now but attended a state comprehensive in a fairly deprived area, both achieved all As in both their GCSEs and A levels, both got a first in a STEM degree at a Russell Group University. They didn’t have tutors but I supported/tutored them myself with revision guides until they surpassed me with knowledge. I feel that they were better able to cope with university than some of their peers who had been more spoon fed.

What they didn’t get from state school was the contacts and it’s clear from some of their friends who did attend private school that doors open for them.

One thing to consider is whether the money saved from private school could get them on the housing ladder.

@5month where on earth do you live in Bristol?! All the secondary schools in Bristol are HORRENDOUS!
@Parsley1234 Thank you! I think a lot of the posters are unfamiliar with the Bristol school situation! Very different for London or the SE