AIBU to think Private School isn’t worth the expense?

[Macaronsandcupcakes]

In my area (Bristol) all the private schools I’ve spoken to have admitted they will eventually pass on the 20% VAT (I’m not objecting the govt policy). This means the cheapest school will be charging £7k+ per term. For one child from yr 7 to complete their GCSE’s it’ll be £110k.

I completely understand the schools get better grades, but other than grades why is it worth it? Has your child significantly benefited?

Articles I’ve recently read suggest that the anti private discussions are gaining momentum, both from universities & employees.

My partner is keen to send our children. But I need convincing.

I went to both and private is better.

Better facilities, more experienced teachers, wider choice of sports and clubs, smaller classes, grounds were beautiful, made friends from a variety of cultures and backgrounds because of boarding, set up to turn pupils into confident achievers. And I liked the other girls more than I liked my classmates at state.

And FWIW I moved from a very ordinary local indie to one of the top 10 girls grammars in the country.

By the end of my first year at grammar I had dropped sets in every subject 🤷‍♀️ so I don’t believe for a minute the teaching was as good.

I 100% believe I would have been happier and got better results if I’d stayed at my indie.

I was replying for the benefit of the OP who was asking if private schools are worth it. So often, state schools are slammed on MN, so I just wanted to make the point that there are many excellent states with good facilities. So the OP does not discount them out of hand.

Having worked in both state and private for close to 20 years… - my experience is very much that you can.

people value what they pay for. Half the problem with the NHS and the education system is because people expect it to be free and so don’t respect it (I’m not advocating that people start being charged cost - but some sort of means tested contribution might not be the worst idea…)

Of course you will get some parents at private schools who just picked the closest one as a box ticking exercise and don’t care. My experience as both a parent and a teacher is that those who are planning to spend the best part of 250k on their child’s education a) do their research and b) have high expectations.

It really sucks that there are too many parents who, for whatever issues, don’t engage with their children’s schooling - but all my experience suggests very strongly that there are far fewer of those parents at private schools.

It all depends.

It depends upon what the particular independent schools are like, what your local state schools are like, what your financial circumstances are like, what sort of school would be the best fit for your individual child, and so on.

There just isn’t one simple answer to this question.

For us personally, our DC started at private school, and moved to state school a few years down the line. I’m not going into the reasons here other than to say it wasn’t about the finances of it.
Our DC thrived more at the state school than they had at the private school, and for us, I do feel like we wasted our money sending them to that private school at all.

But having said that, that was about one particular private school, and one particular state school, and how they suited our particular DC. Someone else with a different child at the same private school my DC went to might have had a different experience and come out with an opinion opposite to mine about whether it was worth the money. It’s just so very subjective.

I think it depends on the schools available to you and the nature/abilities of your children.

I have kids in state and independent.

I went to a fantastic state school. If I had the option of a school like mine for my kids then they'd all have gone to that state school. Unfortunately, my local choices are fairly awful state school or selective independent. So my kids that could pass the selection process are at independent and those that couldn't are at the state school.

I can see a massive difference in the atmosphere of the school, and in the attitude to learning, and the attitude to other people. I would send them all the the independent if I could get them in.

But if you have great state schools locally, then you could save a load of money by using it!

For us, our decision to go private was based on not being impressed with state secondary (primary was excellent). Our DS13 has just started private for yr 9 onwards and is very happy, already much more motivated and grabbing every opportunity. He was happy at state, but really thriving so far in private.

As it happens, he wasn't the driving force behind looking at private schools, it was actually dd10 who is dyslexic. Seeing how the state secondary was failing DS (high levels of disruptive pupils, lack of permenent staff, merry go round of substitute teachers and low expectations of pupils) we decided DD would be completely lost and started looking at alternatives. Quickly realised it would be grossly unfair to send her private and not DS as well - offered him the choice to move and he bit our hands off. Dd will start next year for year 7.

I feel like we're paying for a solid education for our children, one that in an ideal world our state school would provide, and no doubt others round the country do in spades.

I really think it has alot to do with what state near you has to offer and what gains you'll get for the money. I feel like we are getting many times our moneys worth. If our state options were better, I'd most likely be happy with them there and just supplement with tutors/ extra curricular as needed.

@Parsley1234 No need to be rude. Redland Green is only ranked as 'Good' according to ofsted. I've heard about some drug issues as well lately.

I'm not interested in exam grades. My gentle, sensitive DS was mercilessly bullied at Primary and wouldn't have lasted five minutes in a state Secondary. We have moved heaven and earth to send him to an Independent school where there are smaller class sizes and a robust pastoral system. It completely depends on the child whether it's "worth" the money or not. If you've got a bright and confident neuro typical child with a secure friendship group then they'll probably do well in most environments.

Really depends where you are in Bristol and what your secondary options are. For us we went private as wasn’t on the state school so it gave us options.
Which are your local school/s?

My DC went to a failing primary. It was ok, she worked hard. She also was very badly bullied. The school refused to act and watched it happen.

Our local secondary school is failing, the building is falling apart and all lessons take place in portakabins on the playing field. This means no PE. Bullying and fights are daily occurrences. All of my friends children go there and tell me so I’m not inventing this.

We decided to send the Dc to the local independent school as primary was a written off and we know they wouldn’t cope in the state system any longer.

IF our local state schools were excellent we would use them and save ourselves a fortune. But sadly they are not and I value the mental health of my child. Nothing to do with grades. They will do well wherever they go.

@fizzwhizz1 sorry not being rude which s hook is the really good one in that area I think there’s just one

My experience as both a parent and a teacher is that those who are planning to spend the best part of 250k on their child’s education a) do their research and b) have high expectations.

Loads of state school parents are the same though (do their research and have high expectations).

The only difference is they pay through housing, rather than school fees.

They spend many thousands on buying a home near the state school they want. And not necessarily in their current area. A fair few families specifically move to another area for the schools.

House prices near the "good" state schools are very often higher (sometimes a lot higher) than for homes near a less well regarded state school.

They really aren't.

That's really not true at all. Loads of good secondary schools in Bristol - SMRT, Cathedral, Free school, St Katherine's ...

There are fewer than 5 private schools in the UK that are worth it. None are in Bristol.

I guess it depends how good local state schools are. My DD got 11 x G9’s from a state school this summer. So obviously glad i didnt pay 100k plus. DS also got mostly 9’s.

There are far more than 5 that are worth it.

wtf are you basing that on?

OK, I'll bite - which are these magical four?!

Indeed. We bought a house for £340k 10 years ago in a mediocre catchment. DS has just started private school for P6. DD will likely move for S1 (secondary). An equivalent house in a great school catchment would set us back minimum £700k. Our house is probably worth £500k max now. Theres not a lot in it. And we don't really want to move. A lot of people around us send their kids to private school rather than pay the premium to live in the great school catchments.

That's the biggest load of bollocks I've ever heard!
What criteria are you basing that on?

Ooh I wonder if mine is on the list - don't leave us in suspense!!

If you feel that all of the secondary schools in Bristol are horrendous you have answered your own question and need to send your children to a private school.

I know several people who were educated privately and who benefitted from it, and that's more than 5 schools.