My mum has bought DD a dress knowing we won’t like it.

[Glasscabinet]

It’s DD first birthday soon and my mum has asked me to collect an outfit from hers ready for DD birthday.

My mum was laughing as she said that neither me or DH will like it/to our tastes but in her eyes it’s lovely.

What planet would I dress my DD, on her first birthday, in an outfit that caused a round of laughter over.

One hand I could be polite and pretend that DD got it dirty or I could straight out refuse to accept it.

What a waste of money and material. If anything I’m actually quite annoyed.

I bought my niece a really sweet dress when she was one or two. Nothing ott, a plain white top with a tartan skirt. I never saw her in it even just for a photo. I was quite hurt really. It’s good manners to at least have a photo of her in it for your mum.

Yes, this.

Who exactly is this present for?
It's not for your daughter, who doesn't know/care what she's wearing.
It's not for your daughter's parents - in fact it's deliberately designed to annoy you.
It's for YOUR MUM. It's the gift of dominance and territory-marking.

Hideous, outfits like that make me grateful all mine are boys!

But guess it depends what your relationship is like with your mother normally, if she's a good mother and grandma I'd put it on briefly for photos (minus the headband which give me a headache just looking at them on little babies) and have a pair of comfy joggers/leggings to change her into with the body suit so she can move freely.

It's bloody awful; and I speak as a grandmother..

No way would I put that on my child.

I don't really understand why your mother bought it though, especially given that she knew you probably wouldn't like it. It all seems a bit pointless tbh, unless she was trying to make some sort of point.

I was expecting something much worse, its fine. Just pop her in it for an hour and get your mum some nice photos. It's not going to be too troubling for you I'm sure!

For Gods sake, how do grown women think like this? . ‘overriding your wishes’ indeed 🙄. It’s a dress for a baby! It’s not like her mum has paid fees for eleven years of boarding school and is now demanding OP sends her daughter there!

Massive over-reaction OP. It’s just a dress. Your Mum loves your daughter and just wanted to give her a gift of a dress that your mum loves. It’s nice. It’s shows love and a desire to bond and be part of the extended family that will love and support your little girl as she grows up.

As a child dressed in unisex navy blue, bottle green, brown and orange in the late 1970s I went bloody mad for pink, glitter and frills and furbelows all throughout the 1980s until I was into adolescence. My absolute fear was that someone would think I was a boy when my mum put me in trousers or shorts. How I loved being a girl. While doing lots of things that were thought to be for boys at the time. like playing with cars, or trains, tearing about on my bike or playing football and cricket.

And I still wear pink and sequins when I can get away with it. And FWIW I am a senior director in the construction industry. Still doing "boy's" things in a imaginary tutu.

It doesn't make you giggly and insipid, you know, wearing pink.

It's fucking hideous😱

It's the child's 1st birthday dress, and the grandmother has decided that she would be the one to choose/decide what the child will wear on her 1st birthday

not the mother, not the person that carried her for 9 months then gave birth to her

it's the little girl's FIRST birthday, never again will that happen, she will never be One again

the little girl will have other ' special ' birthdays in her life i.e. 18 30 60 etc
and maybe even parties for 13 and 16 :)

but this is her FIRST special birthday, it's her FIRST birthday !!!

and thinking about it, I can remember exactly what my husband and I chose for our dd to wear on her FIRST birthday.

Mmm I can see it is one that you either love or hate and it wouldn't be to many people's tastes I'll give you that!

So no I don't think you're unreasonable with it

It’s a bit weird to buy a 1yo something that you know the parents won’t like. I’d put her in it, take a quick photo and keep hold of the photo til her bday then send it to your mum. Then after her birthday I’d charity shop it.

personally I think it looks extremely impractical - but each to their own. I’d have her wear the skirt literally for a photo and that’s it - looks impossible to get food/spills out of or wash.

@Tengreenbottles2 but the gift is for the grandchild, not their parents

You don't have to like everything your child is gifted, but the polite thing is to say thank you, take a couple of cute photos and then donate it to charity when it's too small.

I'm not sure why everything has to be taken so seriously, it's just a dress.

Well, sure, they're allowed, but the question is why? Do you actually want your gift to be used? Do you want it to bring pleasure? Be useful?
Those are the only reasons I can think of for buying a gift, and getting something the parents hate doesn't fall into any of those things (Bearing in mind that the age of 1 we're talking about the parent's wishes, the child doesn't care at this stage.)

The grandmother also is expecting that the child will wear it on her first birthday, not just any day.

If OP takes a series of photos of the outfit being trashed by dark choc cake she saves her daughter's normal clothes and gives her mum the photos with a big dominant statement back! Of course the top can’t have a bib over because you lose the message.

Get over yourself and take a photo of your daughter wearing the dress for your mum. One day she won't be here and you'll give anything for the chance to do something to make her happy

I am a granny and I think the OPs reaction is correct. No way would I chose what one of my grandchildren wore on their birthday. My children would not spare my feelings. The dress is tacky!

@Glasscabinet I thought 'that's a rather naff T shirt, but not too heinous..

Then I saw the ghastly ruffles - yup, it's hideous!

As a little kid {3 yrs} my absolutely favourite ''party dress'' was pale blue silk and I LOVED that dress so much..

This one however is impractical. Those encumbering ruffles!

Awww its really not that bad. Okay so its not something I would chose but my Mum had different tastes to me when my DD's were little and she would often buy something knowing its not my taste but she would think it was cute. We would laugh about it. It's just an outfit at the end of the day. Why the drama?

To me it was never a big deal. I would just put them in it, take some photos and leave them in it for a while to please my Mum and I would laugh and I would tease her about her awful taste in clothes.

But then that was the relationship I had with my Mum. I knew she wasn't being disrespectful or 'going against my wishes' to annoy me or anything. It was just my Mum wanting to see her Grand daughter in a cutesy dress she liked. I never got offended or thought she was trying to dress her up like a doll etc. I would just roll my eyes, laugh and get on with it.

Only you know the relationship you have with your own Mum but as this has annoyed you so much then maybe she has form for doing this kind of thing?

But absolutely none of that means she can't also wear this dress for gain an hour to take some photos for her grandma, does it?

Let's be honest, whatever she wears will end up covered in food, drool etc. anyway!

Depending on your relationship - you could do a pic and have some fun - put some kind of Halloween head gear on as well as outfit or you could at one time buy black t-shirt with less cute pics - and put that with the skirt.

https://skeletots.co.uk/collections/skelly-skull
https://www.feralandfunkykids.co.uk/product-tag/skulls/
https://www.babymoos.com/product-tag/skull-baby-clothes/

Or just do a pic and not think about it or just ignore entire outfit.

Go to a seamstress and see if they can make one in your mum's size then suggest they twin for the day?

I love it 😂. Me and my DD don't have the same taste in her 6 year old D clothing but my DGD has her own ideas now so tough on us both!!!

Think it’s kind of cute. Like the dusty pink, it’s girly and only borders on tack.

The real issue is why are you allowing your mother to choose if you want to choose?

It's your daughter, but your mum's granddaughter, potentially her only granddaughter, and she cares about her. She bought something naff, but there is no reason to see it as an act of 'asserting dominance'. She likes the dress and would love to see her granddaughter in it. If it's not to your taste, take some photos, share them with your mum, then dress her in something else. Give the dress to charity afterwards so it doesn't go to waste.

I think there's an ENORMOUS difference here between innocently buying something you think is nice (which, I agree, at least dress them up for one photo), and DELIBERATELY buying something you KNOW the parents will HATE, and expecting it to be worn for a special occasion too. That then isn't a nice, well-intentioned gift, it's literally a badly-intentioned gift, they are literally giving something they know will annoy you.