My mum has bought DD a dress knowing we won’t like it.

[Glasscabinet]

It’s DD first birthday soon and my mum has asked me to collect an outfit from hers ready for DD birthday.

My mum was laughing as she said that neither me or DH will like it/to our tastes but in her eyes it’s lovely.

What planet would I dress my DD, on her first birthday, in an outfit that caused a round of laughter over.

One hand I could be polite and pretend that DD got it dirty or I could straight out refuse to accept it.

What a waste of money and material. If anything I’m actually quite annoyed.

I don't think you can stop your mum buying things just because you see them as pointless etc. However you absolutely can and should decide what your own baby wears. It's irrelevent whether everyone thinks the outfit is nice or not.

I've found that you really don't get much chance to dress young children up so sorry I wouldn't let anyone else but my dd's dad have a say in what she wears for her first birthday party. If mum is saying she specifically has to wear it for an event then I'd tell her very clearly no. If mum is happy to just let her wear it randomly and get a few photos then I'd probably let her do this. There's no law saying that you have to though. It's your baby.

I wouldn't pussyfoot around it and make excuses or let the baby poo all over it or anything daft like that. You're just creating more work for yourself and mum won't get the hint. Just tell her clearly that it's your baby, that you get to ultimately decide what she wears and that you disapprove of once only clothing for ethical reasons.

Such a fuss over nothing. Unless you and your mum don’t get on and there is a back story I can’t believe this would cause you this level
of upset. My mum liked more of the pink girly dress than I did but it was something we both used to josh each other about. Be very careful being such high maintenance at such an early stage as soon you may need her help with childcare.

Really? It looks like something from Shein to me

Quite apart from what the dress looks like, your mum is BU in buying that - it's up to you, not her to dress your DD for her birthday occasions.

Just tell her you won't be using it, and either have or are going to buy something you prefer and you hope she kept the receipt.

What if it was handmade with indifference by someone trying to afford some vodka?

For what it's worth when dm gave dd her foofy princess dress, she loved it. I didn't, but she had great fun wearing it before she ripped it up. Your dd may like it even if you don't. She was also fully capable of crawling and playing in it. Not sure why people think a bit of frill will stop a 1 year old from playing

Must say, I agree that it’s absolutely awful - and I love a bit of pink! What stands out for me is that your mum knows that you won’t like it; that’s not on, really. Just accept it as graciously as you can (“kind of you to
think of her”), but don’t put your daughter in it and then forget it. She gets to buy it - but that doesn’t mean you have to have your daughter wear it…..

Am I missing something? DD won't give a shit. I used to dress my son in any old crap

Honestly, this is the kind of stuff I would and did get annoyed with when DD was around the same age. I pushed back and my mum got onboard. Now DD is 4, very strong willed and her self styled aesthetic seems to be magical glittery unicorn rainbow frills with a side of sequin hearts 🤷🏽‍♀️

I wish I had saved my outrages and chilled out a bit.

Is this really the hill you wanna die on?

It’s revolting.

I wonder if op mum is on MN ,that could be gey awkward.

It’s not about whether DD cares, it’s about whether OP has the right to dress her own child in something OP chooses and likes, on DD's birthday, rather than something OP's mother likes but knows OP won’t.

God, some of the hideous outfits I had to wear as a kid that my gran bought me! Suck it up, put the child in it and take a pick for grandma.
It’s the thought that counts…

Unclench!!! Just put her in it, take some pics, say thanks so much mum thats kind of you, and change her when she eats.

Thats a bit melodramatic. Still wouldn't care though.

Very tacky! Put it on her for photos, then give her spaghetti Bolognese to feed herself with. Obviously will need a bath and change!

Oh the outfit is delightful! Why wouldn’t you want your daughter to look like a beautiful baby girl?

The thought that's counts?

The thought "I bought you something o know you will hate" isn't endearing is it?

It's horrible. Put DD in it, take a photo (preferably a poor one) to print and give to your DM, then take DD out of it again and dress her in your own choice of clothes for her birthday. If your DM had thought you would like it, it might be different and you might need to be kinder, but she knew you wouldn't.

Yeah, I'd be wincing and annoyed at the wasted money (that in my case could have been spent on more useful things) especially as she knew you would hate it, I agree with the majority, stick her in it for a few photos and then put her back into normal clothes. It's been bought now, theres nothing you can do. I've lost count of all the dresses, big puffy flowery coats (when we already have suitable coats) and ugly sequined blouses that have been bought for my girls by the grandparents. They both hate them. Irritating.

This.

Why would you deny your mum the pleasure of her DGD wearing a dress she's bought for her? Surely DD wearing something that's not to your taste for a few hours, after which you can change her, doesn't matter so much that you'd withhold this simple enjoyment from your own mum? I doubt very much she bought it to spite you, just presumably loved it and hoped you'd make an exception despite it not being to your taste. Why does everything have to be a battle?

I think it’s vile. But your and my opinions don’t matter, the point is that OP doesn’t like it and her mother knew she wouldn’t.

Lol I know you're getting a lot of grief here @Glasscabinet , but I actually do understand.

It's not so much the buying of the outfit, but it's the expectation of her wearing it on a special occasion where you'd probably like to choose something yourself, or already have something in mind, and it has made it awkward not to go with your mum's dress now.

I have similar with a Halloween outfit this year. Little one has a dress-up day at nursery and MIL has given us a hand-me-down dress from one of her friends' grandchildren. It's not anything like what I would have chosen for her and we were given it too early to be able to say we already had something else. Her dress-up day is on Halloween, so no other occasion to wear it. Obviously it doesn't really matter and she'll wear it as it would be a waste to get something else now, but sometimes you just like to choose something yourself for these once-a-year occasions don't you? For them to look cute in, and keep photos of.

It's not like I'm hopping mad, but it does make it awkward if you turn the outfit down. I do think it's quite cheeky for your mum to order this with the expectation that your baby actually wears it on her birthday - surely she assumed you may already have an outfit in mind.