To think why make sly digs?

[Chihiroo]

For my birthday my MIL bought me Dior soap annd hand lotion and body cream - lovely, but very expensive and a waste of money and definitely not something I’d buy myself.

Anyway, I wore the body cream and my friends complimented me and asked what it was. Friend asked what soap - I made a joke that I put it in the guest bathroom so it would rarely be used and showed her a photo and she said “oh they’re very small”

They are literally full sized soap and hand lotions. And whenever she shows me something new I’m always very complimentary.

I know it’s insignificant but it’s bloody soap, there wasn’t a need for any put downs.

Which part did I make up hen?

You said:

I think it's so pointless that I've put it in the guest bathroom so it'll never get used.

Whereas OP actually said:

I made a joke that I put it in the guest bathroom so it would rarely be used

It’s clear that OP put it in the guest bathroom because it’s expensive and will last longer as will rarely be used.

You twisted something nice into something bitter.

I really want some Dior soap now, I've got soap envy!

It wasn’t about trying to be funny, I was pointing out the irony. I hope you’re okay OP, from all your replies I can see you’re getting a bit of a beating on here.

Great reply. You've hit the nail on the head!

I don't think that's a dig at all. You must be hard work to be around, do people always have to watch everything they say?

The problem is it wasn’t originally clear that OP had put it in the guest bathroom because it’s expensive, I also initially thought the OP meant that she had put it in there because she thought it was a waste of money and wasn’t going to use it much. It was a bit ambiguous to be fair.

But then I explained this and got called a liar so 🤷‍♀️

@Chihiroo yeah that wasn’t fair but I think you immediately got a lot of people’s backs up with your opening paragraph where you made (what seemed like) a dig at the expensive gift you’d been given saying it was a waste of money and you wouldn’t have bought it for yourself. Unfortunately no matter what you said afterwards, a lot of people would have made up their mind about the sort of person they thought you were.

I know from experience it’s not nice to post on AIBU and be told by a barrage of people that you are. It’s not a personal attack though as these people really don’t know you at all. Although it doesn’t feel nice, having a range of opinions is a chance to reflect on a situation and see it from other angles you perhaps hadn’t considered.

I asked whether this friend has made other sly digs towards you, thinking there might be a better example of why she makes you feel this way, but you were so distracted by the negative comments you didn’t reply.

I think that's because so many posters back track after the first few posts on a thread. I'm not saying that's what you have done, the alternative is having a post that is tldr.

It's AIBU you will never win because no matter what people will find a way in which you are.
However, I still think that your friends comment wasn't a sly dig and that you're over thinking it.

Congratulations on your soap OP!
Be grateful for your MIL. She must really appreciate you to spend that much money on you.
I am sure the soap is great, as Dior is a real master on perfumes, so it must smell proper lush and last all day long.
It will be small for £150! I do not think your friend was making a dig. A normal size soap for £88 or £150 is quite pricey indeed, but worthy if the scent lingers and makes you happy.

I can be quite sensitive but I don’t think I could manage to be offended on behalf of my soap.

My ex-friend used to do things like that. After a while it just gets wearing.

Off point slightly (as I think you've massively overreacted to a throw away comment!) but why are you not using the products yourself if you love them so much? Genuinely do not understand people who 'save things for best' - or in your case, put it in the guest bathroom because 'it's a waste' otherwise!

This was YOUR birthday present, which I'm assuming your MIL would actually want YOU to use! Just bloody use it!! Stop being so weird about it 🤦‍♀️

lol

Just call her out on it. Tell her to stop dissing your soap.

Dp is a bit like this and I call it out all the time because it's thoroughly miserable. Imagine being the type of person that can find fault with everything. It says more about them than you!

Well that escalated quickly

Show me where I said something nasty? I didn't call anyone any names (unlike OP), just answered her AIBU.
Disagreeing with someone isn't the same as being nasty.

Is this whole thing a stealth boast about having a guest bathroom?

Telling people off for posting on an anonymous forum is a cheap trick. But I suspect you know that.

I'm still struggling to compute how someone would interpret a comment on the size of some soap as a personal insult.

I'm a pretty sensitive person. Struggle with rejection sensitive dysphoria as part of my adhd, so I'm very sensitive to any perceived criticism.

But your friend was talking about soap? What am I missing here?

I didn't tell anyone off either.

Goodness me what an imagination you have on you.

Did you say something like, "What a waste of money, it was £150" and your friend has agreed and thought that for the price, "it is small". You seem to be veering between moaning about it but at the same time wanted compliments.

Some of your posts, I can’t be bothered to look for more:

You just made a sly dig about how your MIL "wasted" her money buying you a gift which is "lovely", you have used and also received compliments on -but your friend is the one in be wrong? 😵‍💫

My point is you and your friend are similar so what's the point in holding it against her?

Umm…those posts look perfectly ok to me. Certainly not ‘telling off’ type posts.