To think why make sly digs?

[Chihiroo]

For my birthday my MIL bought me Dior soap annd hand lotion and body cream - lovely, but very expensive and a waste of money and definitely not something I’d buy myself.

Anyway, I wore the body cream and my friends complimented me and asked what it was. Friend asked what soap - I made a joke that I put it in the guest bathroom so it would rarely be used and showed her a photo and she said “oh they’re very small”

They are literally full sized soap and hand lotions. And whenever she shows me something new I’m always very complimentary.

I know it’s insignificant but it’s bloody soap, there wasn’t a need for any put downs.

Why what did I say to my friends that was extremely rude about my MIL? Because the only part of the conversation I included was them saying I smelt nice and me telling them what it was, to saying I put it in the guest bathroom as it’s too nice for daily use.

… failing to see the rudeness so please elaborate.

I absolutely love the gifts. I probably wouldn’t spend £150/£160 on items that would be used up fast but MIL is very wealthy so it’s all relevant. Unfortunately on MN if I had bragged and been excited about getting expensive bathroom/beauty products I would have been called every name under the sun too. So I really couldn’t win.

For the record I loved my presents and MIL. I just couldn’t justify the price if I bought it myself.

I think previous posters have nailed it. You were criticising the gift to your friend, so she assumed that it was ok/expected for her to do the same. No sly dig at you involved. A totally open one at your MiL, just as you had just done.

Edit: cross posted with you saying you hadn’t criticise it and love. Don’t believe you. You were clearly commenting on the price as keeping it in the guest room. You’ve said here you think it was a waste of money.

Ok fair enough. I think it was you writing that you thought it was a waste of money in the same sentence as you received the gift from your MIL, that made it sound like you were sneering at it. Just enjoy your gift, and it doesn’t sound like your friend meant anything bad by it really. It does smell great.

Not sure I understand your joke about putting it somewhere where it wouldn’t be used, depending on your tone that sounds like a sly dig at your MIL who very generously gifted it to you. Your friend’s comment is neither here nor there.

I feel here you’ve told the same story but with a different angle. In your OP it really does come across like you’re being rude about the gift, with comments like “waste of money” and “definitely not something I’d buy myself.” Whereas in this post you’ve worded the same points very differently, suggesting you love it.
And the way you worded “I made a joke that I put it in the guest bathroom so it would rarely be used” to me insinuates you don’t like it and put it there so you don’t have to use it. But now in this post you’re wording it in a way as if to say “I love it so much, I put it in the guest bathroom to
preserve it!”

Easy done I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

But I do think your friend was just agreeing with you, and saying “it’s a bit small considering it cost so much.” I really don’t think your friend has done anything wrong. Why did you have a photo of it anyway and we’re showing her? Seems like a boring convo to have with a friend.

If someone said that they got a gift but they were putting it in the guest bathroom and wouldnt really be using it I was assume that they didn't like it because I use things that I like.

She commented on how nice you smelt so I don't think that she is a raging bitch, you commented back saying something I would take to mean that you didn't like it so I wouldn't see commenting on the size of a tiny bar of soap that I thought you didn't like as a dig.

If my friends said this, it would just be an observation, not a sly dig, because they're nice people.

You know your 'friends' and if you're sure they would have meant this as a sly dig, then they're not friends.

Meh. Why take a picture of it?

I read it again I want add that I do think you worded the first one completely different to your update. It’s not the same tone and the first one does sound rude.

It doesn’t matter that your MIL has a lot of money, it doesn’t mean she has to spend it on you.

OP has this friend got form for making sly digs? Perhaps this isn’t the best example though.

I feel that you've totally changed the slant on your story now.

"Waste of money" was your exact words, and you didn't say in your OP that you'd put it in the guest bathroom because it's too nice for daily use.

Even taking the photo of it which you showed your friend during the conversation seems to me like you've done that to show people in a 'taking the piss out of the gifts' 'look what I've shoved in the guest bathroom' kind of way.

You clearly created an atmosphere in which your friend felt comfortable to criticise the gifts (very lovely gifts btw), and your own telling of it in your OP has come across to most of us that you were criticising the gifts, so you might want to reflect on that.

She's having a dig at Dior, not you.

I imagine she was genuinely surprised by how tiny the soap was

a waste of money she's politely agreeing with you

To be fair I'd want a soap the size of a giant toblerone for £150

I'd want a giant Toblerone

I wouldn’t be bothered to get into any sort of stress about a bar of soap. 🙄

Then don’t believe me?

But what’s the point on commenting then. The point of aibu is to come to a conclusion based on what the poster has said: Because you weren’t there and don’t know any of the people involved.

But yes I’m going to lie about something because I need validation from you stranger.

It wasn’t tiny. It’s the same size as a majority of other hand soaps.

Maybe it would help to show us the picture so we can tell if it was a sly dig or honest opinion?

Because I wouldn’t pay that much. End of. I literally only put that because I couldn’t be bothered with nasty comments.

Literally what I said -

Anyway, I wore the body cream and my friends complimented me and asked what it was. Friend asked what soap - I made a joke that I put it in the guest bathroom so it would rarely be used and showed her a photo and she said “oh they’re very small”

Yea I didn’t write down verbatim what I said but yes I meant rarely used as in it’s too nice to use every day and wouldn’t last long.

Why would I even wear the body cream if I hated it?

I’m already bored of this thread full of vultures and Sherlock’s. Your lives must be so boring. I may have been boring enough to post about soap but you are all boring enough to create elaborate theories and false narratives. So go with the whatever version makes your life mor interesting - perhaps I threw all the gifts out the window or stormed off when I opened them.

Anyway to move away from the size of the soap (which I’m quite weirdly invested in!) the reason some people make sly digs in my opinion: jealousy, irritation if someone brags a lot, to make themselves feel better because they are insecure.

I did. I came to a conclusion based on your OP, in which you said it was a waste of money and that you had put it in the guest bathroom so you didn’t use it too fast (implying it’s small). Your friend responded to that too I reckon. Your rewilding here is completely different. Which words did you use to your friend?

You: My MIL bought me this stupid waste of money present that I'd never buy for myself, I think it's so pointless that I've put it in the guest bathroom so it'll never get used.

Also you: I am offended that my friend made fun of the size of my pointless gift that I didn't want anyway.

Make your fecking mind up love.