to wonder if I'm out of touch with conversational norms?

[Thisisntthowisawthisgoing]

I've noticed more and more that people are regularly interrupting or speaking over each other. Is this now the accepted norm?

In my upbringing, interrupting was considered rude, except for minor interruptions like a quick “mm-hmm” or “I know what you mean” that still allowed the original speaker to finish. Polite interruptions might happen for safety (“watch your step”) or could be smoothed over by looping back (“Sorry, Sandra, you were saying…”). Otherwise, you waited for the other person to finish.

Recently, though, I’ve found people just can’t seem to wait their turn. They’ll either completely talk over the speaker or take over with an “Oh, I know what you mean” and then carry on. I haven't noticed others being outwardly bothered by it, but I often leave these conversations feeling a bit deflated. It feels discourteous, and I end up hesitant to speak, wondering if I’m being dull or just not worth listening to.

I tried addressing this with friends by saying, “Sorry, I was talking, could I finish?” and was called out for being rude and “causing an atmosphere.” It wasn’t my intention, but it made me wonder—has interrupting become acceptable, and calling it out is now considered the rude bit?

Do I need to update my expectations of how conversations work these days?

I've been wondering since posting this thread if in fact it's not much worse than it's used to be, but just slightly worse and at the same time my patience levels with it have also declined. Maybe it's to do with getting a bit older, or having young children whom I'm actively teaching not to interrupt, might be making me more aware/sensitive about it. Have also had therapy in the last few years which has made me more confident in myself, so maybe now I'm not as content to be spoken over as I once was. Hard to unpick.

Out of genuine interest, if you feel like you're talking more than others, can I ask why you don't ask questions? No snark at all. I'm interested because I know there are a number of reasons for this. I have friends from all different cultures and some have said that where they're from (or their families) it's actually considered quite rude to ask questions in general. There are of course exceptions. The etiquette is that people offer the information they want to share. There must be quite an art to this.

@Catandsquirrel that's really interesting about cultural norms, I like learning stuff like that so thank you for sharing. However despite many people mentioning on this thread I personally am not someone who talks more than others, and often when I do speak it is to ask a question. So just wondering if that was for someone else or was aimed at me?

It was quite a general one for those who've mentioned they find themselves talking a lot and not getting much response rather than you, I didn't like to pick on anyone in particular!

@Catandsquirrel ah okay! I just always presume if it's not @ anyone in particular it's for the OP 😁

I wonder if social media, and communicating by text more often, has anything to do with it.

No-one can interrupt you while you're typing, and you can have your say whenever you like.