To feel slightly suspicious of dp

[wwyt]

Hi, I'm looking to know would YOU be suspicious? I'm not really suspicious but maybe a bit slightly?

So, dp works for his dads business and has for the last 10 years. Dp doesn't start work until 9. Usually he would set an alarm for 8:30 which sounds really late but his workplace is a 2 minute drive from our home. And he's really easy going 🤣. His dad doesn't drive but a workmate would always collect him.

About a month ago dp started setting alarms at 6.45-7:15 getting up and leaving the house within 10 mins of those alarms. (Extremely early from before) I've been with dp 5 years he's never up that early for work.

He says it's because he's starting to give his dad a lift to work every morning. His mum and dad live a 5 minute drive from our home. That's not too suspicious. But the thing that's making me go 🤨 is he's leaving home in the mornings in his normal clothes. He says he gets ready in his parents house just before he leaves for work as it's easier?

He has a specific work uniform. He would always get ready here before leaving.

So he's started leaving the house over an hour earlier than usual and not getting ready here?

Would you be suspicious?

Just follow him?!??!

wake up the baby early and go out after him in your own car

Okay so I'm going to follow him tomorrow morning, my friend is going to pick us up as he doesn't know her new car.

She's my best friend and I've been telling her over the last few weeks how I find it strange he's been leaving so early in his own clothes and she agreed so she's offered to do this.

It's less than 2hrs at dark o'clock in the morning.

Are you sure he's not just joined a gym and working out an hour before work, getting into his work clothes there?

Does he complain about having to get up early to collect his DF?

Seems like someone who loves to lie in would complain.

Crossing everything for you OP that he’s just going to his parents house 🤞🤞🤞

Good luck! Sounds like you’ve got a brilliant bestie there.

Come back and tell us OP, we're all curious about this now! Really hope you follow him to his parents and there's nothing going on.

How will you manage to sneak out of your house with the baby and into your friends car ready to follow your dp without him noticing?

I would wake the baby and follow him.

Between this new routine and the fact that he essentially has a little family with his parents and your baby without you, I’d feel very nervous. If the situation was left that his mum never apologised and your relationship with the parents ended, why did he accept that? Why does he still speak to his mum if she was so rude to the mother of his child? He does not sound very loyal, which doesn’t bode well given the new routine and, I’m sorry to say, the reduction in sex. It also sounds like he’s complaining about the quality of the sex you do have.

I wasn’t very worried by your op, but reading the whole thread it sounds like a really concerning situation.

Sorry, cross post. A good idea to follow him. I hope it’s innocent for you.

just let your iPhone slip under the seat in his car, then see where your phone ends up and go and pick it up..... as no-one likes to be without there phone

I hope it's innocent OP.

Can you not just ask him? I mean, something is obviously going on, but it isn't clear what. Unless he is paying for it, I doubt anyone is up for an affair conducted between the hours of 6.45 and 8.45 am...so it is something, but maybe not that. You could always ask to come along to see what's up, my DH would definitely prefer me to do that if I was suspicious.

Hope everything is ok but this isn't normal behaviour really, it's the sudden change I would find the most suspicious

I just cant envision a conversation where you're asking him what he's doing and he's saying that he's getting changed at his dads etc and it's just accepted as normal?

I would be like, hey? That literally makes no sense. So what are you ACTUALLY doing?

I would be hella suspicious.

Hopefully it's not what it looks like but I worked in an industry notorious for affairs and people were at it, 4am, lunchtime, 5pm you name it - if they want to they will.

If he's not doing anything wrong and you do this and he finds out it could really cause problems in your relationship. If my husband followed me for doing nothing wrong I would lose trust big time.

If it walks like a duck...

"we have a 1 year old"

Maybe he can't be arsed being there when the baby is awake?

So off down to Mummy who will make Diddums a breakfast, pat his little head and tell him what a great boy he is.

I knew someone who was having an affair and he would leave at 6.30am to see her

a different job or an extra one @wwyt ?

Let your friend follow him alone if that's easier than getting the baby up and in the car? He's less likely to spot anything suspicious too. Please update us OP.

Bloody hell 1-3 times a week with a one year old! My DH would be absolutely thrilled! If it does end up him getting some elsewhere, DO NOT let him convince you that it's because you are having less sex than pre baby. Your baby might sleep late (my first used to sleep 14 hours a night) but they are massive work when they're awake and our hormones are different.

OP, why not check the mileage on the car? If he's going further than to his parents and work, then you'll know that he's up to something. I'd definitely be worried enough to do this.

Not healthy advice but I would be very tempted to stick an AirTag or similar in the car it's really odd behaviour.

I'm positive, I've said previously he calls his friends who go to the gym "gym freaks" he has always said it's not for him and never will be.