To feel slightly suspicious of dp

[wwyt]

Hi, I'm looking to know would YOU be suspicious? I'm not really suspicious but maybe a bit slightly?

So, dp works for his dads business and has for the last 10 years. Dp doesn't start work until 9. Usually he would set an alarm for 8:30 which sounds really late but his workplace is a 2 minute drive from our home. And he's really easy going 🤣. His dad doesn't drive but a workmate would always collect him.

About a month ago dp started setting alarms at 6.45-7:15 getting up and leaving the house within 10 mins of those alarms. (Extremely early from before) I've been with dp 5 years he's never up that early for work.

He says it's because he's starting to give his dad a lift to work every morning. His mum and dad live a 5 minute drive from our home. That's not too suspicious. But the thing that's making me go 🤨 is he's leaving home in the mornings in his normal clothes. He says he gets ready in his parents house just before he leaves for work as it's easier?

He has a specific work uniform. He would always get ready here before leaving.

So he's started leaving the house over an hour earlier than usual and not getting ready here?

Would you be suspicious?

Do you have a 24 hour casino near you? If you do could he be gambling?

I had an ex who worked for his dad, he would get ready for work everyday and come home ‘after work’. Took his dad 3 months to tell me he’d not been going to work, turns out he was spending all day at another woman's house! Not suggesting this is what is going on here but trust your gut and press him if its making you feel uncomfortable!

No but he could be using prostitutes.

@Gymnopedie has got it spot on. Trust your gut because it's so obvious he's upto no good

I would be very suspicious of this OP. Air tag or follow him.

I used to live opposite a woman who's husband drove out one end of the road as her lover drove in the other end. I asked the NDN if what I thought I was looking at was actually what I was looking at and she said yes, it;s been going on for 18 months.

In a weird twist, went on to work for the lover for seven years and despite being married with kids my age, he was at it at every opportunity and with various women but this one remained his long standing mistress.

If he wants to make space for someone else, he will find a way to do so I believe so you have to follow him or track him so you actually know.

A change like this with lame as fuck excuses like his would make me angry to be honest. He's taking the piss.

but also added "it doesn't mean I'll find someone else to do it with I just wish we done it more often"

Someone who wasn't thinking of finding someone else wouldn't say that.

I don't think it's too early at all. My ex used to go to one of his OW at 5am on his way home from work. He'd pop in there for around 30 mins then leave.

Does he have an iPhone? You can see on the ‘find my’ iPhone app where he’s going if you want to.

Absolutely this. My ex used to book a hotel room for his OW, she’d stay over and he’d go and see her for sex about 8am for an hour before work. That continued for 4 years, and I never suspected because I thought he was just going to work.

OP, hopefully it might be something really innocent but don’t ignore it or it’ll drive you crazy. He’s hiding something, do whatever it takes to find out what it is.

Have you asked him what he's doing for an hour+ every morning at his parents house? Apart from changing his clothes. Does he wear clean clothes for work every day (you say he comes home filthy and I could understand his mum not wanting him sitting around in mucky gear)? If he was helping his parents in their house or garden would he mention that?

Imagine this though. You would just be a vagina in a room : (

I'd find his suspicious, yes.

I'd either follow him or ask someone else to. You'll get your answer and can move on.

Follow him, track him, ask his dad why he’s starting so early..

yes id be suspicious.

No need to follow him just find out where the car goes.

Where the car goes, he goes

Not the point of the thread I know but OP I wouldn’t be happy with this - him just taking your baby up there, building the relationship but you’re outside of it?

Can’t you see how that’s going to pan out? Are they - and he - eventually going to be telling your son that no, this family with granny and grandad doesn’t include mummy, we don’t talk to her? Your dp is ok with that - with sitting on the fence instead of standing up for you?

What’s he going to say when your DS starts asking these questions? Is his mum going to start to undermine you and slag you off to your child and will he stand up for you if she does?

He’s only one. I’d rethink how this is going to work longer term and the dysfunctional effect this could have on your child, before you start the world of birthday parties, holidays, christmases…

The timing alone doesn’t necessarily indicate that it’s not another woman
My Ex was seeing a work colleague and their cover to me and her husband was that they had been told they had to start work earlier. He was leaving at around 6.45am as opposed to closer to 8.30.

Is his mum cooking him a nice breakfast?

But yes it certainly sounds like something funny is going on and that his parents will happily cover for him if it is!

1. Who the hell are these other women other posters have caught their men at it with early in the morning 😐
2. What is op's man up to 🤔

What about when he goes to his parents not early in the morning? Is that definitely where he’s going all the time?

Snap maps is less dodgy than a bloody air tag or tracker 🙄 maybe suggest sharing locations for safety or something? It’s not something I do but I know of a couple where the woman always checks on where her partner is and is quick to text to ask why he’s at XYZ 😳 I think coming to mumsnet is always silly for things like this because the view is biased. Ask on Reddit or something as well.

Are you absolutely sure he doesn’t have a different job and is too ashamed to tell you, and is wearing the uniform afterwards to keep up the sham? Because it’s either that or he’s having an affair or seeing sex workers.

I would nearly be 100000% sure he's still working at his dads business. He's always loved it. He comes back dirty like he always did.

Also some nights his eyes be in pain with welding at work.

Everything he said to you here is either a red flag or nasty shit.

Are you sure you want to stay with this empathetic prince ?

What does he say when you ask why he’s getting up so much earlier? It’s all very bizarre. I find the addition of the watch, which he can’t wear at work, very odd.

So he can collect his dad, pull on his work clothes and go....

His dad is never in a rush to get to work he has employees opening the work place , and he's easy going about dp getting to work too there's never a "rush"