To feel slightly suspicious of dp

[wwyt]

Hi, I'm looking to know would YOU be suspicious? I'm not really suspicious but maybe a bit slightly?

So, dp works for his dads business and has for the last 10 years. Dp doesn't start work until 9. Usually he would set an alarm for 8:30 which sounds really late but his workplace is a 2 minute drive from our home. And he's really easy going 🤣. His dad doesn't drive but a workmate would always collect him.

About a month ago dp started setting alarms at 6.45-7:15 getting up and leaving the house within 10 mins of those alarms. (Extremely early from before) I've been with dp 5 years he's never up that early for work.

He says it's because he's starting to give his dad a lift to work every morning. His mum and dad live a 5 minute drive from our home. That's not too suspicious. But the thing that's making me go 🤨 is he's leaving home in the mornings in his normal clothes. He says he gets ready in his parents house just before he leaves for work as it's easier?

He has a specific work uniform. He would always get ready here before leaving.

So he's started leaving the house over an hour earlier than usual and not getting ready here?

Would you be suspicious?

I read your new updates OP, I know you are thinking it's suspicious but could it be entirely legit? For example, is he doing work at his parent's house that he hasn't told you about as you and his parents don't get on? He works for his dad after all, so entirely possible he's doing something there? Maybe stuff that's not externally visible like insulating the loft (or similar)?

Could he be working on a new business idea at his parents house in the mornings, and going to his original job in the afternoon? Could they have started to go to work in his Dad's car, not his? Could one of his siblings moved near his parents and does he pop in there?

Of course I understand he may be seeing someone in their street and his parents may be in on it, but there are other possibilities. Have you considered building bridge to his parents and seeing how that goes. You are not going to find out more unless you can either (a) get it out of him (b) see him going into another house and staying there most days and you know there is only a woman there (c) have a reason to go round his parents house - perhaps to pass something to him (forgotten lunch?) etc. I'd be thinking of burying the hatchet, just to see his face and reaction to that news.

why don't you ask him ?

wow. I did think at the start his parents had. Given him a kick up the arse and he’d started working harder and earlier. Now it seems very weird. Hope alls ok. X

We arent going to hear any more. The OP has run this story to death now, theres no more to hear

Do it.
You need to know.
But
Don't do it if you're not going to end it if it turns out he's cheating

Any update?

Surely just go over to his place of work, see if he's there or not and be done with it?

Too easy.

Could he parking up at his parents and then getting on a bus/train to meet someone? He knows you don't speak to his parents so can't test this, but the car is in plain sight backing up his claim to be at his dads.

I mean the friend COULD be the affair, but that would be a really unlucky plan to have hatched (to get her to follow him).

I'd leave it a few days (so he gets comfortable again) and then follow myself. Maybe I'd even go so far as to do it in a car pool car - one of those ones you rent by the hour.

heaven forbid someone gets something wrong. No need for the eye roll

Maybe he has a second job as a milkman and is having sex with lots of random housewives Pat Mustard style before he heads off to work for his dad? 😂

@wwyt

I know you don't speak to your parents, but could your friend ring the work number and if your FiL answers, ask to speak to DH? Maybe under the guise of being someone he's doing/going to do a job for? If he gives the phone to DH, she can just hang up, if he says 'I'll take a message' she can say I'll try back later, if he gives her DH's number she can just thank him and hang up. Either may raise suspicions, but it may give you a further 'clue' or if he's with his dad, lay some suspicions to rest.

Another 'think', could your DH's car be (innocently) at his DP's because they've taken the 'work vehicle' that was already parked there?

TBH, the only way you're really going to find out what's going on would be to be there before he gets there and stay until he leaves and see where he goes.

Can you get your friend to knock parents door and say she has a parcel for him? And needs him to take it from her so she knows it's going to the right person? Just send her holding a box? Or go turn up at his work. Turn your phone off and say your battery has died, so you were passing and had to tell him in person, you won't be in when he gets back from work as your friend needs you to help her do something? As an excuse to see if he's at the work place. How bizarre I feel sick for you reading this!

This would be my thought tbh.

And if a woman posted she went to see her parents every morning and her husband had her followed then put a tracker on her car you’d be the first to say ltb.

He’s 100% up to no good that’s for sure.

Don't do it if you're not going to end it if it turns out he's cheating

@AW24 I was going to post something similar. If the OP has no plans to leave (and that’s entirely her call) then there’s no point uncovering her DP’s cheating - if that’s what’s going on - because she then has to live with what she’s uncovered.

And even worse, is for him to know she’s aware, but is staying with him. That weakens the OP’s position even further and he has no incentive to stop the affair.

Yep same 😞

Yeah, he's definitely up to something.

You should follow him when he leaves for work, you'll soon see where he goes

@Staunchlystarling
I've no idea what you mean.

Not if she was changing her clothes when she never used to and wearing jewellery she never used to and changing the time she left the house when she previously loved a lie in. I’m pretty sure most people would be saying the same thing! I don’t think this is gender related.

If you read the thread you’ll see this was attempted today.

There you go - he’s at @Formerowmanyyearsago’s house.

Even David Beckham would get short shrift at my house, at that time in the morning!