To feel slightly suspicious of dp

[wwyt]

Hi, I'm looking to know would YOU be suspicious? I'm not really suspicious but maybe a bit slightly?

So, dp works for his dads business and has for the last 10 years. Dp doesn't start work until 9. Usually he would set an alarm for 8:30 which sounds really late but his workplace is a 2 minute drive from our home. And he's really easy going 🤣. His dad doesn't drive but a workmate would always collect him.

About a month ago dp started setting alarms at 6.45-7:15 getting up and leaving the house within 10 mins of those alarms. (Extremely early from before) I've been with dp 5 years he's never up that early for work.

He says it's because he's starting to give his dad a lift to work every morning. His mum and dad live a 5 minute drive from our home. That's not too suspicious. But the thing that's making me go 🤨 is he's leaving home in the mornings in his normal clothes. He says he gets ready in his parents house just before he leaves for work as it's easier?

He has a specific work uniform. He would always get ready here before leaving.

So he's started leaving the house over an hour earlier than usual and not getting ready here?

Would you be suspicious?

It’s not only controlling. It’s also pointless. She’s just given him a heads up to use countermeasures and he’ll always be on his guard if he’s having an affair and she’ll never find anything out!

I'm so sorry OP, but I just can't stop thinking how is your baby waking up at 10am? What time do they go to sleep? What magical powers do you have????

So sorry this is happening OP. Really hope you get to the bottom of it.

Just want to say to all those people recommending AirTags - definitely don't do this.

We had one in our dog's harness registered to my DH's phone and every time I took the dog out I got warning notifications telling me an AirTag was moving with me. He'd know in an instant.

I wouldn't be telling the friend anymore information. She could be the one picking him up from his parked car in the mornings. Perhaps that is why he was earlier today. Did the friend just tell OP his car was outside his parents or was there up to date photographic proof? It could be an old photo though.friend

Why doesn't OP just ask him why he is going out so early but not starting work until much later and watch his reaction when asked. Actions speak louder than words.

What did his dad say, did he say DP was at work?

Do you think he has seen this thread OP?

It's weird that the one day your mate is tracking him and he's ahead of schedule on that one day.

It doesn't have to be an Air Tag. Other trackers are available.

Sorry to say I think the most likely reason is he's sneaking off to meet a woman.

Leaving earlier today is interesting. Is it possible he has been reading your messages to your friend? Does he have access to your phone? Perhaps he or OW have seen this thread.

I'd head to work with something nice for lunch 'because you're worried he's not eating enough as he always comes home hungry' So....set off with the goodies, and park near/outside his work say about 10am ish, THEN ring him and say you're taking baby to (whatever reason) and you've made him a nice lunch and are dropping his lunch in on the way. Then watch him arrive, flustered, same time as you.

Does he drive otherwise? Is it possible he’s had his license suspended and shouldn’t be driving? So instead he’s leaving pre-rush hour to drive to parents and dad is covering him by driving them both, and then he just does the quick trip in reverse at the end of the day to avoid getting caught, especially if there are smart cameras or something on the way.

I came here to say this. Also, where are his clean clothes - the ones he wore to pick up dad?

1. Ask him what he's doing and make it clear that its suspicious
2. Cherchez La Femme
3. Track his car on Google maps
4. Follow him or drive past work to see where car is

When do you go to work in the morning after he leaves?

Excellent suggestion by @JudgieJudie - Google Earth is live, isn't it? So no need to get up at the crack of dawn. Do whatever you can not to rouse further suspicion so you can have concrete evidence on Monday. Stalk him with Google Earth instead!

It's not live

Ha ha, I googled it and was just about to say what an idiot I am! Up at 4am and shattered.

I wish it was 🤣

I honestly would resist the urge to raise further suspicion though OP.

Like others have said, could be the OW has seen this.

It sounds like he just likes spending more time at his parents than with you. Why is this? Does he feel under pressure or is that he's moving away from you? This could be influence from his parents?

What sort of work place is it? Could a customer pop in?

@EI12 - your strangely controlling habits aside, I have no idea what you mean when you say this about your children:
"But I also give dc the option of not telling me where they are going, so if they don't want to be checked on, not tell me what they are up to, so I won't be able to check. This is done by me to make their lying unprofitable."

Apologies to @wwyt for the derailment, I'm just curious.

This has made me laugh. Not in a smug way but just in a wtf how does this poster think that happens then?!

Omg OP now I really want to know the answer as much as you do.

OP told us this morning that her friend saw DH's car outside his parents house at 7.10am and it was STILL there at 10am. OP then phoned DH (presumably on his mobile) who said he was at work, so she then phoned the work number and her FIL answered. So, either they were both at work or FIL was, but DH was somewhere else. Either way, for your licence-suspension theory to be correct, DH's car would have to be at work if his FIL was (and possibly him also) and not still parked outside his parents' house.

God I hope everything’s okay

Even if he is having an affair, surely he wouldn’t be up at the crack of dawn before work to get a quickie in six days a week. Also why is he panicky about setting the alarms and leaving the house quickly? That’s not affair behaviour either.

Oh well obviously I'm naive. 😂 Even with an affair it seems unlikely he would carry it on 6 mornings a week without even brushing his teeth or that he would need so desperately to set an alarm every morning. OP has said that she has fallen out with his parents but that he is devoted to them and they clearly know what is going on since his car is parked outside their house. If his mother was getting dementia for example, it might be he and his dad are taking it in turns to be in the house with her and to be at work. Anyway, it was just a thought. I don't mind being laughed at! 😂