To feel slightly suspicious of dp

[wwyt]

Hi, I'm looking to know would YOU be suspicious? I'm not really suspicious but maybe a bit slightly?

So, dp works for his dads business and has for the last 10 years. Dp doesn't start work until 9. Usually he would set an alarm for 8:30 which sounds really late but his workplace is a 2 minute drive from our home. And he's really easy going 🤣. His dad doesn't drive but a workmate would always collect him.

About a month ago dp started setting alarms at 6.45-7:15 getting up and leaving the house within 10 mins of those alarms. (Extremely early from before) I've been with dp 5 years he's never up that early for work.

He says it's because he's starting to give his dad a lift to work every morning. His mum and dad live a 5 minute drive from our home. That's not too suspicious. But the thing that's making me go 🤨 is he's leaving home in the mornings in his normal clothes. He says he gets ready in his parents house just before he leaves for work as it's easier?

He has a specific work uniform. He would always get ready here before leaving.

So he's started leaving the house over an hour earlier than usual and not getting ready here?

Would you be suspicious?

Its a brouhaha

😂

😂

I’m actually very concerned about the self esteem of the women talked about on this thread who seem happy to settle for a relationship which consists of a married man ‘visiting’ her for half an hour a day before work 5 days a week. I can’t imagine settling for that, or it being worth waking up early for.

Trust your gut. You did and it looks like it was right. I hope you have the strength to be angry and kick him to the kerb he’s treat you like an absolute mug

Definitely something weird OP. The only thing you can be certain of is that he’s lying to you about something. That doesn’t sound like a good relationship.

And your partner accepted this ?

I also read that with a bit of an open mouth, maybe it's that woman I saw in the news recently who doesn't let her partner do anything as she's so jealous.

I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Doesn't look good OP.
You are strong. Do not put up with this.

Sorry this is happening OP, it must be v frustrating not knowing what;s going on but having a gut feeling that something is! I think the only way to be sure is to follow him (or have your friend follow him again) in the morning when he leaves, this is the only way you'll be sure about what is happening.
Having said that I think I would also go round to his workplace on some pretext just today just to check if he is there.

A woman's instinct is a powerful thing and usually accurate. You may just have hit the nail on the head with the affair on the street thing.
he is bound to gaslight you so be covert in your operations, but find out one way or the other, it will kill you otherwise x

Something does seem off. An airtag in his car would be enlightening.

Clearly something weird is going on or he'd have an explanation for you.

I would keep asking him why he's started getting up so early. Why his workmate has stopped picking his dad up. Why he dresses up smartly rather than wearing his work clothes. Why he puts on his watch when he's going to have to take it off again for work.

And on and on and on. I'd keep asking until I got an answer that satisfied me. His answers so far don't make any sense. I wouldn't bother following him or trying to track his movements or see his phone. Just keep asking until he breaks. I'd probably ring his parents though. Every morning, twenty minutes after he's left to go over there. Asking to speak to him.

Can you go to his work? See what time he actually arrives?

You need some help. Thats very controlling.

Could it be that his mother has had a stroke or something like that and he is acting as a carer, helping to get her up and staying with her for some of the day?

What!? 😂😂

Hahaha sorry for laughing but that has to be the biggest reach I've ever seen on MN! Expect the "maybe he's autistic" posts but was not expecting anyone to claim he's looking after his sick mother!

What is it about this lying, deceitful, sexually coercive man that makes you think he's likely to be getting up early in order to selflessly care for an elderly relative?

Maybe he's secretly a top level agent who's been given an assignment to infiltrate and take down the Russian mafia... Anything's possible!

Ring the workplace back and ask his father if you can speak to him. Make out it's an emergency or something. If he isn't there then you'll have caught him in a lie and then you can start demanding answers.

Okay based on that I think he has a sex addiction.

How can you live like this?

So him leaving even earlier than usual on the one day the friend is due to follow him is just coincidence?

He has got wind of this somehow either from the OP or her friend.

So what happens to the clothes he “puts on at home before he goes to his parents to change into his work clothes” ?

I’m surprised your DH agreed to marry you!

If a bloke said that they would be doing random checks on me, I’d be running a mile. That is so controlling.