To feel slightly suspicious of dp

[wwyt]

Hi, I'm looking to know would YOU be suspicious? I'm not really suspicious but maybe a bit slightly?

So, dp works for his dads business and has for the last 10 years. Dp doesn't start work until 9. Usually he would set an alarm for 8:30 which sounds really late but his workplace is a 2 minute drive from our home. And he's really easy going 🤣. His dad doesn't drive but a workmate would always collect him.

About a month ago dp started setting alarms at 6.45-7:15 getting up and leaving the house within 10 mins of those alarms. (Extremely early from before) I've been with dp 5 years he's never up that early for work.

He says it's because he's starting to give his dad a lift to work every morning. His mum and dad live a 5 minute drive from our home. That's not too suspicious. But the thing that's making me go 🤨 is he's leaving home in the mornings in his normal clothes. He says he gets ready in his parents house just before he leaves for work as it's easier?

He has a specific work uniform. He would always get ready here before leaving.

So he's started leaving the house over an hour earlier than usual and not getting ready here?

Would you be suspicious?

@wwyt Drive down to the work place?
I don’t know any man that would say they are at work 3 hrs early with a £400 watch on and not work clothes and change . I don’t know any women in my life that we believe this or accept it.

You really need either you or your friend to be there when he either goes in, or comes out of whichever house he went into. Ideally both, because if you only catch him coming out, he'll try to say he was at his parents, and then just popped into the other person's house for a few mins to help with something.
You need to see how long he is in there, so he can't come up with a shit excuse like that. If you say for example 'friend was passing and saw him coming out of no4' and his response is that he was only in there a few mins, at least then, if you've got proof he was in there a couple of hours, you know he's lying, and can confront him with that.
If he is really sneaky and worried someone would see, and knows his parents would cover for him, he could even go into his parent's front door, out through their back door, and enter a neighbours house through the back.

@wwyt surely staking out the work place is the best option (unless it’s at his Dad’s house) or being at his Dad’s before he gets there to see if he goes in and when he comes out? Maybe they go to work in Dad’s car?

or can you just drive to to the house as few doors from his parents. Walk into this morning mums
house and see if he is there

And? Did you not ask his father if you could speak to your dp?

I'm sorry, OP. But it looks like he's having a fling with someone on the street, someone approved by mummy and daddy, and they're covering for him.

You're not married, so you're not protected either.

Might have missed it but do his parents not drive/have cars? Could he have left his car at theirs and gone in with his dad/another work mate?

I can see why you are suspicious but today has not really told you much either way. Your friend (if you can get her to do it again) needs to be on his parents street for 6am to see exactly where he is going when he arrives and/or needs to wait near the workplace before start time to see who goes in.

His dad answering the work line also doesn't tell you anything, maybe he is there and busy. You/friend should have specifically asked to speak with him.

Well I'm pretty sure his parents know what's going on, and as your FIL picked up the phone your DH will also now know the cats out the bag.

Tbh I'd go round to his parents house and stand by his car, ring him and ask him to come out from whoever's house he's in and tell you wtf is going on!

If his father is in work, how did he get there?

Yes thats perfect stand outside the car and say can you come out . Also have friend watch the back of the house if she can or the neighbour you are suspicious of

So ask his dad to pass him the phone? If his dad says he's out then go to his parents house and see what he's doing.

Is the car alarmed and is it sensitive? Could your friend do something to set the alarm off and see where he appears from?

Do you believe your partner when he said he was at work? Did he sound normal like he was at work or was he acting suspicious?

If he won't talk to you OP then everything's supposition unless you catch him somewhere he isn't meant to be.

I mean it's possible that he's picked up another part time job that he absolutely has to be on time for and looking more presentable than he does for his job with his father. To me that would make the most sense with him wearing a decent watch that he wouldn't usually wear during the day and with him being almost paranoid about his alarm going off.

Is he likely to be secretly saving up for something?

It does sounds dodgy, but he could have just got a lift with his dad and the workmate. I'd drive to the workplace and see if he's there.

This is all massively suspicious. Hope you’re able to catch him out. There’s no way he’s getting out so early just to pick up his dad,

Leave friend watching his car and you go to his work and take him something to eat. That way if he's there you look like you're just doing something nice

Yeh agree, go to the work with something nice to drop off.

This is such a strange thread. I’m sorry OP, I hope you find answers soon. This would drive me mad, the unknown and strangeness of it all.

Is there a train station near his parents place? Could he be parking there and walking to catch a train? Just wondering why he would suddenly need to be setting alarms and leaving the house promptly in the morning.

Sorry to hear this update op. Keep your cards close to your chest until you get some real proof

This is all so ridiculous.

The trust is gone.

And earlier on OP you mentioned your sex life.
He moaned he wasn't getting enough and you told him you were tired but then went on to say you rectified by giving him more.

He just emotionally coerced you into performing sexual acts.

....
No trust.
Emotional manipulation.
An awful mother.
Etc.

Don't bother ringing, following, getting friends to sneak about.

Tell him to fuck off out the house and don't come the fuck back.

Why would you want to live like this for a day, a week, a month, a year ?

I really hope his parents aren’t covering for him if he’s up to no good. That really would be despicable behaviour.

Perhaps you worked with my ex...this was me!
I was suspicious but I was "crazy" and "untrusting" of course I was right and he got well and truly binned. For that reason OP I would be mega suspicious of this obvious change in behaviour...especially the watch and own clothes. Hope you get some answers soon!

He's definitely up to something. What are you going to do? X