To cancel our first holiday together 6 days beforehand

[Chickenrun12]

Hi all, I'm trying to understand why my boyfriend would ask me this before I cancel our holiday. We have been together about a year and we are going to Thailand on Wednesday, he has never left Europe so we are both looking forward to it. Early today I mentioned I had read there are ALOT of massage places offering happy endings where we are staying thinking we would both have a have a bit of a laugh about it so I was shocked when he said 'I could get a hand job and you could watch' I laughed and said yeah right thinking he was joking but he carried on by saying 'it wouldn't be cheating if you were in the room would it'. I asked if he was joking and he said no. I couldn't believe he'd even suggest it. I said OK maybe I can get a happy ending from a man whilst you're in the room (I would never) and he got very annoyed saying it's totally different and why would I even say that. This is our first holiday together. I have planned and paid for this holiday as a gift and I just cannot believe he would even suggest it. He did apologise after I told him how upset I was.

For context he slept around alot whilst we were seeing each other but not officially together whilst saying if I ever slept with someone else he would never see me again. He swears blind he has been loyal since we have been official and I believe him (maybe stupidly). Any thoughts? I feel like not going at this point but maybe that's an overreaction

There are sadly plenty of home grown Neanderthals. Very glad you’re leaving him behind.

He's got double standards. He wants to control you. He's happy to pay women in 3rd world countries for favours they may be coerced into offering.. He's shown you who he is, don't look away and decide accordingly

YANBU he has a horrible (red flag) mindset, but you paid for the holiday. Don’t cancel it, take someone else with you (hurry-up and change the name on the tickets), go and have a lovely time.

More than just a red flag, he might as well have painted himself red with flashing warning lights. Get rid and see if a friend or sister will go on the holiday with you. Sorry but better now than later.

Bravo @Chickenrun12 !! Have a great time.

one for the bin OP, don’t be naive. Don’t cancel the holiday, take a friend.

Just because he apologised doesn’t mean it’s not true. He sounds grim & I would bin him.

Get rid, take a friend.

Absolutely do not go with him! He'll be getting hand jobs left right and centre, regardless of if you're watching or not! This isn't, and never will be an equal relationship if he can but you can't! You know you deserve better!

Ditch him and take a friend!

flags flying at full mast here. Big. Fat. Red.
you deserve better!

Wow!
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Good on you OP! Well done for not wasting any more time on him.

If you ever question whether you have done the right thing, remember you had no future at all with this guy. He would have cheated on you without question. You couldn't have kids with him either without risking your children growing up with his views.

Have a really wonderful holiday! Thailand is great.

Go to Thailand by yourself and enjoy!! You'll not regret going, you will regret staying with him

Definitely still go, but as others have said, alone or with someone else x

This man is very dangerous. Do not be tempted to get pulled back in, as you will come to regret it. Bring a friend and have an amazing week.

You deserve better.
Every woman deserves better.
Bin him OP.
Do not treat him to a trip to Thailand.
I hope you can take a girlfriend or get a refund and book something else fabulous for yourself.
Staying with this creep will tie you in to a relationship of suspicion and heartbreak.
I feel for you OP, but all the signs are there flashing neon over his head.

No you are not unreasonable.he sounds like a total womaniser.please take a friend with you instead.and tell him goodbye for good.

Alarmmmmmmm bells ...........RUN far and fast !!

Walk away now. He thinks there is a set of rules for you, and a different set for him. No way is THAT the basis for a healthy relationship. The guy is not just a red flag, he's a field of red flags. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

He's a turd. However, why would anyone have a laugh about the exploitation of prostituted women (and men) in brothels, which is what the 'massage parlours offering happy endings' are?

Dump him. Have a lovely holiday with a friend (if possible to find someone who can go with you) and perhaps examine your own moral compass? After all a) you chose him and b) it looks as if you think prostitution is funny, which it's not.

He is showing you who he is. An early warning sign. I'm sorry. But leave him. You don't want a life time of this shit.

Go on holiday but accept that you are both now single and enjoy your holiday without him. He doesn't respect you and isn't going to change.

Just anyone on this planet would be a better travelling compagnon thanthis horny git. If you can chabge the ticket holfer'sname, don't think twice.

You can't buy love OP, not respect.
He's shown you his true colours from the beginning.

You're worth so much more.
Enjoy your holiday and wait for the right man, not just any man.

Thats amazing!!! We all hope you have the BEST time!!! 😁 Please go and live your best life 💗
You deserve this!!!
Can't wait for you to update on your adventures! So proud of you!!
🎶sisters, are doing it for themselves!!🎶💪 X