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To cancel our first holiday together 6 days beforehand

482 replies

Chickenrun12 · 26/09/2024 03:55

Hi all, I'm trying to understand why my boyfriend would ask me this before I cancel our holiday. We have been together about a year and we are going to Thailand on Wednesday, he has never left Europe so we are both looking forward to it. Early today I mentioned I had read there are ALOT of massage places offering happy endings where we are staying thinking we would both have a have a bit of a laugh about it so I was shocked when he said 'I could get a hand job and you could watch' I laughed and said yeah right thinking he was joking but he carried on by saying 'it wouldn't be cheating if you were in the room would it'. I asked if he was joking and he said no. I couldn't believe he'd even suggest it. I said OK maybe I can get a happy ending from a man whilst you're in the room (I would never) and he got very annoyed saying it's totally different and why would I even say that. This is our first holiday together. I have planned and paid for this holiday as a gift and I just cannot believe he would even suggest it. He did apologise after I told him how upset I was.

For context he slept around alot whilst we were seeing each other but not officially together whilst saying if I ever slept with someone else he would never see me again. He swears blind he has been loyal since we have been official and I believe him (maybe stupidly). Any thoughts? I feel like not going at this point but maybe that's an overreaction

OP posts:
Minniliscious · 10/11/2024 22:16

This is way over the top - how on earth would that situation even happen?? I mean, once it started I’d have been out of there sharpish!

Birdseyetrifle · 10/11/2024 22:20

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BettyBardMacDonald · 10/11/2024 22:21

Why the fuck would you waste any moment of your one and only life here on Planet Earth with such a juvenile, misogynist loser????

Raise your standards.

peachesarenom · 10/11/2024 22:22

Go on your own!

EconomyClassRockstar · 10/11/2024 22:23

Why the fuck are women putting up with dickheads like this in 2024? I'm so sorry for your experience but I implore you to spend some time by yourself now and work out what YOU want out of life before you even begin dating again. This is 100% not normal.

EconomyClassRockstar · 10/11/2024 22:24

And just in case you haven't dumped him yet, just put that image in your head and feel the ick. I mean, I got it just reading your post. Ewwww.

Janeypatterson · 10/11/2024 22:26

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SwerveCity · 10/11/2024 22:27

Minniliscious · 10/11/2024 22:16

This is way over the top - how on earth would that situation even happen?? I mean, once it started I’d have been out of there sharpish!

Exactly. Who would sit there watching this unfold?

OliveWoe · 10/11/2024 22:27

That is absolutely fucking horrific and was in NO way your fault OP.

Mekumeku · 10/11/2024 22:29

If you aren't married and don't have any children I would say he's not worth sticking with. Huge red flag, and it sounds like you are free enough to walk away.

Roryno · 10/11/2024 22:29

I guess this is a lesson to listen next time when someone is telling you what a completely disgusting person they are. How horrible for you. He sounds absolutely awful.

pleasehelpwi3 · 10/11/2024 22:31

Apologies- seen update.
I hope you are ok. It's easy to sit behind a computer and say 'don't go' when IRL it's much harder.
What a vile man.

JolieFilleCommentCaVa · 10/11/2024 22:33

pleasehelpwi3 · 10/11/2024 22:31

Apologies- seen update.
I hope you are ok. It's easy to sit behind a computer and say 'don't go' when IRL it's much harder.
What a vile man.

Edited

Please read the OP’s update 🙄

Allthehorsesintheworld · 10/11/2024 22:33

He put you in danger.
In a foreign country. Where you knew no one.
Running up a bill in a bar ( for his disgusting behaviour) plus a lot of alcohol consumed.
Anything could have happened to you, doesn’t sound like he was going to leap to protect you.
please say you’ve dumped abd blocked him.

Twistybranch · 10/11/2024 22:35

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JolieFilleCommentCaVa · 10/11/2024 22:37

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Jesus Christ how much Victim blaming do you want to do?

Dont believe it? Then don’t bother replying to it. You sound horrifically prudish.

FagsMagsandBags · 10/11/2024 22:38

To people asking why OP didn't leave when the whole orgy thing got going, it's because she was scared of being alone in the area they were in. I think we'd all like to believe that if we were in that position we'd leave but it must have felt safer to stay which makes what he did even worse.

Sometimes here you read things and suspect that they're not true and sometimes you read something and hope to god it's not true.

Twistybranch · 10/11/2024 22:39

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Pallisers · 10/11/2024 22:39

Jesus christ your update. I sincerely hope this isn't real. If it is, please get some help for yourself OP. You need to process this trauma (it was a sexual assault on you btw) and why the hell you went on this holiday with him knowing who he was. focus on yourself for a while.

JolieFilleCommentCaVa · 10/11/2024 22:40

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Again, if don’t believe it then don’t bother responding.

Would you tell the victim of an assault that there is no need to explain in detail what happened?

Seriously what the hell is wrong with you?

Twistybranch · 10/11/2024 22:41

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tolerable · 10/11/2024 22:42

Six days gives you nuf time to update his ticket details to literally ANY one else on the planets.
DO NOT forfeit your trip.
Mr manual Labour not fit to leave the country.
That's NOT a jokey round,par 4 course thing to say.
And....he ain't calling the shots.
UNLESS (and even then,if plausible work around,do that)
You entire financial spending £ is dependent on his provision (doubt that)..
Bin him, asap.
Fquin hand jive all he good for

Mekumeku · 10/11/2024 22:42

Just read your update! WOW. I understand why you went with him, you liked him and didn't want to believe he was a bad egg. I hope you can move on and find a decent man when you are ready. There is a huge difference between a traditional man (which I am all for) and someone like your ex.

JolieFilleCommentCaVa · 10/11/2024 22:43

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Of course you’re victim blaming. It’s right here in black and white!!!! “You mention he didn’t have full sex ….but you gratuitously mention was actually took place….gross.”

An incredibly vile way to speak to someone who is describing a traumatising event.

If you feel so strongly that this is a “troll post” then follow the MN rules and report it instead of commenting. Wise up!

Twistybranch · 10/11/2024 22:46

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