GP reception made a mistake and then gaslight me

[Pointedy]

I was expecting a gp appointment today over the phone. However, there was a mistake and apparently the gp called yesterday. I did see some missed calls but I don’t pick up unknown numbers as my number is clearly on a database used by fraudsters (get a lot of fraudulent calls from call centres. I rang up and informed the receptionist there must have been a mistake as when I booked i made a note that the appointment would be on my ex wedding anniversary. I immediately put the appointment in my phone as I am not good with dates.

I explained and the receptionist refused to believe me and said it’s easily done blah blah. Asked why I wouldn’t pick up a call. The next appointment is in 3 weeks.

I have terrible anxiety (the issue I was calling about). For the past 6 months I have had constant butterflies. And it feels like the night before sitting an exam all the time.

what can I do? I guess I could pay for a private gp but not sure they would give me the old medication I was on. I had a psychiatrist who I gradually stopped seeing due to agoraphobia/complete giving up on life. My gp would fill out the scripts this psychiatrist sent. Not sure a new gp would want to prescribe me pregablin which is highly controlled.

I get we all make mistakes but I really need help

She needs help, not this.

I was panicking all day due to the missed appointment. I used the wrong term when I was spiralling. Calling me a moron after everything I have shared is really harsh.

Ring in the morning and ask for an emergency appointment. Just like you would if you had an ear or throat infection. My GP surgery we have to call at 8. 30am.

Oh OP I'm another here to send you support. Anxiety can be powerful and debilitating.

Please disregard the PPs harping on about correct usage of gaslighting and being bewildered why you don't answer unexpected calls from a withheld number. I don't, it's really not that unusual.

I think the best options are 111 to see if they have a mental health crisis team and/or phone GP at 0800 and ask for a same day emergency appointment.

It IS an emergency, because you feel at risk and you don't know how to cope. Ringing at 0800.is a massive task, set a few alarms.

Sending you strength X

@Pointedy im sorry you’re struggling, extreme anxiety can be crippling and makes any small challenge feel insurmountable. Mumsnet can be great for finding support and advice but AIBU is not the place to find it - I learnt that the hard way myself when I was in a bad place and posted for the first time in desperation. In future I’d suggest the chat or health boards, people are less vicious there.

I’d suggest the same as others about calling 111 mental health support or calling the gp again in the morning and reiterating the urgency of your need for medical attention.

In the meantime can you recall any useful techniques or suggestions from your previous therapist that you found useful in the past? Focusing on controlling your breathing can be helpful in bringing anxiety down a notch. Anxiety is hard for those who have never experienced it to understand, it’s not logical, it’s not direct cause and effect so it’s really difficult to comprehend yourself why it’s bad, let alone explain to anyone else. Past trauma takes a long time to work through and heal, don’t beat yourself up that you are still affected by things that happened years ago.

Just know that it will get better, you will get through this, you are stronger than you know x

OP some people come onto AIBU just to find someone they can attack. I'm picturing a pasty faced teen in a musty bedroom filled with old pizza boxes. Don't waste any effort trying to argue with them, they really aren't worth a nanosecond of it.

You clearly have no understanding of what the term gaslighting actually means and tbh it’s quite insulting to people who have suffered his sort of abuse.

I am sorry that you are having a difficult time, I wish you all the best and hope you find support.

Still at it. Seriously, are you for real?

This.

Right back atya luv!

Pay no heed to that [insert your preferred insult in your head so I don't get deleted!!].

Some people are totally lacking in empathy. I hope you are ok for tonight x

It's quite insulting to someone who is clearly suffering to take the time to point that out!!!

It’s horrible that you had taken such proactive steps only for your appointment to be delayed. Take the good advice on this thread and know that you’re not alone.

Sounds like you’ve been through a lot and are still pushing on. You’re a fighter OP x

Do you have the AskFirst app? Go on that first thing in the morning, before your surgery phoneline opens for same day appointments, and you should be able to get an appointment through it. If it says you don’t need an appointment, tweak your answers and try again.

Sorry this is happening to you OP.

Sorry, but a lot of the time a GP calls from a private number. You will need to set your phone to accept all incoming calls, or request to change your phone number with your network if you are unable to stop getting spam calls/ your number can’t be removed from a database.

this is also the reason NHS direct check your phone can accept all incoming calls. Because an NHS callback can come from a private or unfamiliar number that can change every time.

it sounds like you may have got the date mixed up, but if you want to double check you can always speak to your GP at your next appointment instead of the receptionist. They will have a record of your past appointments that were booked in.

i would ring first thing at 8am for an emergency appt, tell the receptionist it’s about your poor mental health and you don’t wish to elaborate. They should at least give you a callback.

What on earth would possess you to be so nasty to someone in distress. What the hell is wrong with you?

there are sadists on this thread op getting a kick out of trying to make you feel small.

they are only embarrassing themselves.

Dud you mean to be so rude?

And disbelieving?

What would you call it then, when the receptionist is accusing OP of making something up?

I think it IS a form of gas lighting..

Ask for an Emergency on the day appointment. Say it’s a Mental health issue that cannot wait.

I always wonder what they’re like in real life when they’re so vicious on this thread. Imagine what they’d say to friends or families who were struggling. Absolutely awful.

@Pointedy im so sorry some people are being harsh with you, you’ve had a horrendous upbringing and im sorry you’ve got such terrible anxiety. I have anxiety in other ways and just telling someone to suck it up is ridiculous. As others have sensibly suggested call GP first thing and ask about emergency appointments, say you are feeling suicidal and need urgent treatment. If they can’t offer anything 111 for their mental health support. I’d imagine private provision may be better (I don’t know) could you reach out to the psychiatrist who treated you previously? No one would want you to end things because of bureaucracy and our broken system that you don’t get an appointment for 3 weeks. 💐

Oh bless you. I'm sorry that happened. That's all you need after building yourself up to it and worrying about it.

It can be really hard to get help when you are struggling mentally and some people don't get that. It sounds like this receptionist was flippant with you at best, when this is something really important to you. I can understand why this has felt like it has sent you way off course.

It sounds like you do need another appointment. It might be an idea to ask your sister to help you with it, if she'll be kind about it. Otherwise, you could try contacting the surgery manager to explain the situation. They might have an email address on the surgery website so you don't have to talk to anyone.

There's 111 in the meantime too. They can sometimes get a surgery to free up an emergency appointment.

You can get better and you deserve to get help. I'd gladly make these calls for you if I knew you.