GP reception made a mistake and then gaslight me

[Pointedy]

I was expecting a gp appointment today over the phone. However, there was a mistake and apparently the gp called yesterday. I did see some missed calls but I don’t pick up unknown numbers as my number is clearly on a database used by fraudsters (get a lot of fraudulent calls from call centres. I rang up and informed the receptionist there must have been a mistake as when I booked i made a note that the appointment would be on my ex wedding anniversary. I immediately put the appointment in my phone as I am not good with dates.

I explained and the receptionist refused to believe me and said it’s easily done blah blah. Asked why I wouldn’t pick up a call. The next appointment is in 3 weeks.

I have terrible anxiety (the issue I was calling about). For the past 6 months I have had constant butterflies. And it feels like the night before sitting an exam all the time.

what can I do? I guess I could pay for a private gp but not sure they would give me the old medication I was on. I had a psychiatrist who I gradually stopped seeing due to agoraphobia/complete giving up on life. My gp would fill out the scripts this psychiatrist sent. Not sure a new gp would want to prescribe me pregablin which is highly controlled.

I get we all make mistakes but I really need help

You did well to phone at all, I have anxiety to and I literally can't pick up the phone to make a call. When something is easy for other people they don't understand how it can be hard for someone else.

As you have anxiety and agoraphobia, I would strongly advise seeing a private GP as they will do a video call with you. I find them easier than phone calls. They are just as onboard with prescribing medication as NHS GPs, if not more. I went away with a friend who out of nowhere wanted antibiotics for a random illness that came up and she had a video call with her private GP and went to pick them up the next day, even though we were in a foreign country.

Good luck!

This.

What's the worst thing about answering your phone?

Also, another idea is to to see if you have any talking therapies in your area that are self referred? Ours do, I filled in a form and was offered 6 weeks of CBT. Or call uour GP every morning when surgery opens to say you need an emergency appointment.

See if you have a mental health crisis team in your area. You probably do and you can probably self refer. This has lots of advice. https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/ Failing that, contact 111 as they should be able to link you up with whatever mental health services exist in the area.

I can see that it would have been unpleasant for you being told it was your fault.
However, in my experience with my own memory problems, the GP wouldn't make you wait 3 weeks even if it were your fault, if they had an appointment sooner. The likelihood is that that is when they next have a GP free, so even if it was their mistake and they admitted to it, that is when they next have a GP free to see you.

Did they not send a text message to confirm the appointment?

As for the feeling of anxiety - you can try exercise - that will help anxiety pretty quickly especially if its pretty heavy effort.

I’d do another eConsult about your increasing anxiety (and put a comment re the appointment mis up in it) but labour the fact that you feel you need to speak to someone/obtain medication asap.

GP here… I am sorry you are having such a tough time
?would a face to face appointment suit better or just make you more anxious.
?is there anyone else you can talk to who would support you liaising with practice
?could you contact Samaritans in meantime
One of the best ways to stop a panic attack is very intense exercise for 5 minutes eg burpees ( google them.. they are very hard), star jumps, skipping with a tone.
The butterfly’s are likely to be anxiety, not your heart, exercise won’t do you harm.
?could you consider writing to GP practice and telling them what you have told us here?

Evening.
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our https://www.mumsnet.com/i/mental-health-webguide page.
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

@Pointedy firstly we'll done for taking a step to get help. Anxiety is so debilitating.

I'm so sorry it went awry - I get a lot of spam calls too, it's a nightmare :(

I think others who have been kind in their replies have suggested 111 and that's where I'd start. They can book you a GP appointment.

Sending a hug and wishing you the best of luck in getting back on helpful meds x

PS I took my daughter to a hypnotherapist to help with her anxiety. If you're open minded, it can be hugely helpful.

I think you a right that a gp won't prescribe pregabalin, it's a highly controlled addictive medication - which worked brilliantly for me when prescribed by a psychiatrist, but as I understand it, has to be initiated by a consultant. Can you contact a rapid access mental health service locally?

I get it, OP. I had the same once from the GP's receptionist. Waited in for a telephone appointment, it didn't come, so I called. They insisted I'd gotten it wrong and after some 'looking', said my appointment call was for the following day.

I know fine well when it was for, had it written down and calendared. It was butt covering at their end. It does happen.

I would call tomorrow requesting an emergency appointment explain your symptoms and agoraphobia to the receptionist. Your state of mind too.

To be honest I think it’s unlikely the GP would have phoned a day earlier because for them, it’s all system based. They would have a diary of appointments each day that’s generated by the system, showing the bookings for that day. They wouldn’t just randomly be in someone’s medical record to get their contact details and call them. The appointments aren’t manually added to their calendar so no human error.

it’s either you noted the wrong day or the receptionist told you the wrong day.

I’d recommend getting text message alerts for appointments or the NHS app. Plus ask your receptionist if they can add a note on your account asking for them to call twice or leave a voicemail if they can.

Ultimately consider if you need to change your number if it has been compromised in fraud.

Write an email - it doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault but mark it URGENT and tell them what’s happened and how you’re feeling about it and how it will affect you - what will you not be able to do? (For me it’d be go out to get food, wash, anything normal) ask them to put you on their day list as you need to stop it getting worse. You won’t benefit as much from showing it’s their fault I don’t think as from showing how it will affect you and what you need and why. I have to do this sometimes . Good luck

Agree with previous posters - don't wait 3 weeks, either call 111 this evening or call your GP surgery first thing tomorrow for an emergency appointment. If you can afford to, you can also try a private GP appointment. I use a service called Doctor Care Anywhere which offers online appointments, I can usually get either a same day or next day appointment. Make sure you explain your state of mind so they understand the need for medication.

You have lots of support here OP, please let us know how you get on.

Call 111, call the GP tomorrow and tell them you're at crisis point and there was a mix up with the appointment. They are a joke.

Would you like to talk to us about anything? (Ignoring the idiots obviously) x

Please don't do this. It is not the right way to request an appointment. Emails might not even be looked at for several days and it is a completely inappropriate and unsafe way to try and bypass the hundreds of other people who need appoointments just as desperately. OP you've been told who to contact if you feel that this can't wait and i'd bet that your GP surgery has also told you the same things. Complain to the practice formally about the mixup if you want but that's irrelevant to your situation right now. If you feel like you need seeing urgently then utilise one of the many options available to you and keep yourself safe.

I haven't rtft but 111 have a mental healthline, give them a call

Can you phone back tomorrow and explain you can't wait 3 weeks and ask for an emergency appointment?

Ring in the morning and say what you have said here, that you can't go on any more. I'd like to think that they would at least telephone triage you if not see you.

And answer any unknown numbers until you have heard back from the GP. It's a shocking state of affairs that we can no longer make an appointment and it's a complete nightmare trying to get through to surgeries. It was bad before Covid, but everyone else has got back to some sort of normal, so why can't GPs??

Take care of yourself x

Why didn’t they leave a message when they called - "hi xxx, it’s Dr smith from xxxx calling about your appointment. Can you call back on ….."

Wow you are exceptionally kind for asking. There is nothing especially distressing going on with me right now. The anxiety is completely irrational.

I know most of it is a direct result of a physically and emotionally abusive childhood - I was punched, spat on, made to sleep on the floor etc. Although it is all in the past I just have terrible self esteem. I’ve lived a very small life and fear I will never be happy. And that really scares me.

I have people who love me deeply. I’m very lucky in that way.

Thank you for all the support on this thread. I will be trying for an emergency appointment tomorrow. If I can’t manage to get one I will reach out to my older sister who always figures things out for me. She would not want me to be suffering in this way.

I'm glad to hear it's gone down a little. So sorry to hear about your struggles. Just know that it's not your fault and anyone who had gone through that would need some support too. Good luck for tomorrow hope you get to speak to a doctor x

This really is not helpful.