GP reception made a mistake and then gaslight me

[Pointedy]

I was expecting a gp appointment today over the phone. However, there was a mistake and apparently the gp called yesterday. I did see some missed calls but I don’t pick up unknown numbers as my number is clearly on a database used by fraudsters (get a lot of fraudulent calls from call centres. I rang up and informed the receptionist there must have been a mistake as when I booked i made a note that the appointment would be on my ex wedding anniversary. I immediately put the appointment in my phone as I am not good with dates.

I explained and the receptionist refused to believe me and said it’s easily done blah blah. Asked why I wouldn’t pick up a call. The next appointment is in 3 weeks.

I have terrible anxiety (the issue I was calling about). For the past 6 months I have had constant butterflies. And it feels like the night before sitting an exam all the time.

what can I do? I guess I could pay for a private gp but not sure they would give me the old medication I was on. I had a psychiatrist who I gradually stopped seeing due to agoraphobia/complete giving up on life. My gp would fill out the scripts this psychiatrist sent. Not sure a new gp would want to prescribe me pregablin which is highly controlled.

I get we all make mistakes but I really need help

I think you need to give yourself more credit - you managed to call your surgery and explained your problem. Unfortunately mistakes do happen. Call them again, book available appointment (if it’s still available) and ask them if they will confirm the day and time slot via text. Ours confirms only morning or afternoon but it’s still better than nothing. NHS calls usually show as “No caller ID” (at least in my area) so when you see this within your time slot you’ll know that it’s your GP.

Well done for being proactive and trying to get an appointment in the first place. Sorry it didn’t work out due to a stupid error. But you’ve got this - it’ll be shorter than three weeks, judging by some of the helpful suggestions above, but however long it takes, you WILL get through this. The fact you’re still working to resolve this and haven’t given up shows how resilient you are right now.

You could also try googling "YourCounty mental health crisis team" to get the number for your local NHS crisis team.

I’ve just remembered there’s a mental health option to press when you call 111, these days. Don’t hesitate to do it @Pointedy

Thank you for all the suggestions and advice. It’s lovely to have support.

There are people in the real world I could lean on but they’ve heard it all before I’m afraid.

I’ve been counting down the days for this appointment (3 or so weeks). I was sat at my kitchen table with a notebook containing a script I had written out of all the things I wanted to say. So feel very defeated and a little bit scared as another three week wait will be horrendous.

But I will try other options. Thank you

As others have said, take the appointment in 3 weeks and ask to be informed if there are any cancellations sooner.

In the meantime you can now use 111 for MH services, crisis teams, and some charities also have helplines

You can phone 111 with your little script, lovey.

You could go to A and E and say it is a mental health emergency. Or go to a GP drop in. I'd phone the docs and lay it on and see if they can squeeze you in. If you can pay for private then go for it.

Please call 111 and speak to someone sooner than a GP appointment.

In The doctors around here, they always have emergency appointments available that day, you have to ring for them first thing though, could you try in the morning?

or if you’re feeling really bad, ring the crisis team 💛

im sorry you are feeling in a bad way - it sounds really tough. My surgery has daily appointments released at 8am and 1pm - I would ring for an emergency appointment because it sounds like that’s what it is. Good luck and hope you feel better xx

At my GP, when you call, they ask ‘is it urgent for today?’

You say ‘yes’.

They ask you to briefly explain why. ‘It’s mental health related’ is sufficient.

Then use your script when the GP calls.

If your feeling suicidal got to A&E. Unfortunately, the only way of getting an appointment sooner that 3 weeks is to call in the morning for an emergency appointment. If you can't get one call 111 and they may be able to instruct you GP to give you one. I get that none of that is easy when you already feel like ahit. It like the system is set up to fail people in need. Well done for making the first appointment it was a huge step. Keep working to get well x

Pregabelin for anxiety in a high dose is what my psychiatrist suggested. The GP would go along with that suggestion. It's off label use but increasingly common so please don't assume they won't prescribe it. If you're already on it they would never just cut you off even if they wanted you to reduce.
Don't dwell on the missed appointment. The receptionist almost certainly was not trying to gaslight you or call you a liar. But they obviously had it down in their system for that day.
These things do happen. Please don't take it personally.
If you are having bad MH do you have the number for the local crisis line? Can you get an emergency appt at the GP if you ring first thing?
I hope things improve for you x

Does your GP surgery not send you an automatic text when they make an appt for
you?

A couple of times the GP has called me much earlier than my appointed time and I wasn’t able
to answer as I was at work. I then call Reception who double check and make sure that I’m not listed as a no show and rearrange for a new time.

Are you sure you can't be seen sooner? I know the NHS is a mess right now and GP's are busy but can you call when they open in the morning? surely they have same day appointments available?

Please look into it, call repeatedly until you get through, be on the phone 1-2 minutes before their opening times, get yourself in the queue and tell them you need an appointment today, straight away.

Sorry you've had some unhelpful and unkind replies OP. It's not true that "all you can do is wait for the next available appointment".

I know how hard this will be for you, as your are likely emotionally exhausted, but you will have to phone them again and firmly tell them that you can't wait 3 more weeks.

As a PP has already said, it's likely they do have other appointments that they are able to give out same day, it's just yours was probably triaged as not urgent. You can explain that since you've already had to wait x weeks iy is now urgent and your require a same day appointment. They might tell you to do another econsult (if that's the system they use) and then you make it clear on the form how much worse you are now feeling since your first request.

If you don't feel up to doing this yourself, do you have someone who could advocate for you and phone them on your behalf?

It is so disheartening when just at the point where you need help most and have reached out this happens.
Some lovely suggestions in the thread that I hope you can follow and I hope we move to a society where people are more understanding.
If it helps I find it difficult to navigate booking medical appointments and I'm a highly qualified professional without serious mental health problems xx

I agree with above posters, call in the morning and request a same-day appointment.

I found this person's approach really helpful for anxiety too: https://www.theanxietymd.com/ I read and loved the book, the podcast is quite calming too.

I was in a bit of a state a few months ago and couldn't face waiting for an appointment. My gp would do same day phone call, but I couldn't have taken the call easily at work. I decided to see a private GP and had an online appointment within an hour. My GP appointment a week or so later switched my meds from private to NHS. They had a note that the could not prescibe any codeine, zopiclone or diazepam.

Fed up of seeing the term "gaslighting" being misused. It seems to crop up every time there has been a mistake, a misunderstanding or an act of omission, carelessness ot somebody is feeling unheard. Here is an accurate definition: "Gaslighting is a type of psychological abuse that involves manipulating someone into questioning their own reality, memories, or perceptions. The abuser may try to convince their victim that they are misremembering things or misinterpreting events, and may present their own thoughts and feelings as the truth" .

I set up a routine for my partner who struggles with mental health.

He does mindfulness twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the evening. He also keeps a diary. I think you could also start doing this in the meantime.

Call at 8:30 am and ask for a closer appointment.

You will more than likely be called first so you must answer that phone if you get a call.

You can also self refer to mental health team in your area.

But if you want to get better you need to do the work. People can be sympathetic but being cooed and Molly cuddled over won't help you in the long run. Only you can help you. Also make sure you have PIP as you can then pay for private CBT.

I'm so sorry this has happened. Please ring 111. No one should suffer so much.

I understand not answering your phone, I get cold calls every day! However, I usually look at the location they're calling from or their telephone number. If someone has called multiple times one after another it's usually genuine. I would suggest you do 111 online. You don't need to call so it may be easier for you. I would also call your gp again in the morning if they'll be able to fit you in.

Are there any people in your life that you can confide in, I hope that you do have someone who will give you the space to hear what you are experiencing and that they can support you while you wait for an appointment. If there is someone who you can trust I hope that they can come with you to your appointment