Indian & Chinese heritage kids attaining much higher than UK & U. S kids. Can we learn something?

[Keenrower]

Indian & Chinese heritage kids are achieving much better results & seem to have parents who pour all their resources into making this happen. Are their kids just brighter or are parents more aspirational?
Nigerian & Eastern European kids are also very high achieving.
With the new Labour government I think they are very happy to have all kids meeting expectations but these parents will not accept that & I think we have a lot to learn from them.

Social scene is a perfectly acceptable choice point as far as I am concerned. My DS is taking his into consideration but he is not studying a stem subject and is highly sociable.

I don’t disagree with you. I think the education system is massively outdated and needs a complete overhaul. Sorry to hear about your daughter’s struggles.

Or they think about what they want to do and pursue a goal for the right reasons.

@Lentilweaver thanks, I do the things you mentioned but not sure how far watching cat videos and Fortnite techniques will help them learn 🤣 I would have no problem if they used it for some kind of structured learning.

When I was at school the white kids were disruptive in class. They would go to parties with underage drinking in the park. Us Asians are not even allowed sleepovers. Most asians have tutoring whether you can afford it or not. This will upset people but these were my observations at school.

I wasn’t tutored at all, got in comfortably, probably my natural ability. The reality is the vast majority of applicants full stop will be tutored maybe the asian kids got in because they just had more natural talent plus some work? Not everything is down to tutoring.

The reality is the statistics show that every point Indian and Chinese kids are doing well. That means even before the 11+ they are ahead.

https://www.ethnicity-facts-figures.service.gov.uk/education-skills-and-training/5-to-7-years-old/school-results-for-5-to-7-year-olds/latest/

If you are ahead through primary years you are already in a good place to sit the 11+. That is the most likely explanation for why as a cohort asians may be over represented at grammar schools.

Also as an actual asian person with quite a few teens in my family, I don’t think anyone has chosen their kids subjects or told them they are going to be a doctor.

The mid to late teen years were some of the best in my life, discover your interests and establish friendships, partying at uni and sixth form, going to gigs and the experience not being polished and adult free was the whole point. We still managed to obtain degrees with high classes. Equally, my DH has relatives whose band formes in the sixth form, they did well out of it and tour all over the world, imagine if their parents had said, "No" to them "your teenage years don't matter!"

I wasn't allowed sleepovers except with one or two known families. I allowed my DD sleepovers and she did get up to some trouble! Things are changing a bit.

All of the families I know that have motivated and/or high achieving kids are families that value respect and have a positive attitude to authority, schools, the laws etc. I see this same theme regardless of race. Unfortunately in the UK there are a large number of British families that allow their children to drag themselves up, show disrespect for anyone and everyone, don't respect rules, and encourage their kids to fight back against everything. It's no wonder they aren't achieving their potential when their parents have told them they don't need to listen to their teachers 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't think academic success always equates to a successful career so it seems a shame to ruin a childhood over. As an example, someone that is pushed and pushed with lots of tutors and fear of letting their parents down may have the same grades as someone that had a normal childhood and did the required amount of school work. So they get the same grades and the same job. But the person that has been pushed is not clever enough to do the career they chose compared to the person that found the work easy. But they do not have a plan B because they missed out on other life experiences.

That might be the case for your family, but I can categorically say that this is the case for some of the girls in my DD class.

The strict rules that Asian parents impose on socialising are damaging and I am not sure why they don’t see that. The key is being able to strike a balance between working hard at school and having a healthy social life and extracurricular (and sports) interests. The most successful people in most fields (except perhaps academia) have well-rounded personalities, stay fit and active, have hobbies etc.

Unfortunately this is something Asian parents (especially Indian) often don’t inculcate in children.

There is a lot of disrespect among Asian Patents to teachers too though.

Not all the girls in the year were able to do separate sciences at GCSE. Only the top 55 girls. Some of the Patents were up in arms about it. One of my DD’s friends Dad even told my DD that the head of science should have known better as an “Asian teacher” and should have accepted all the Asian girls on the triple science GCSE pathway.

Indeed. Those going to Eton are probably doing well academically and financially. We need a whole other thread about what sort of people they turn out to be. Although obviously nice people go to Eton as well as entitled twats.

My dd knew an girl in her class, she would spend the day at school, then go home and have a private tutor until 9pm. Also tutored at the weekends too as well as her brother. She didn't have a social life, it was all about having to study

In fairness she achieved A*s in all subjects but at what cost. This must have caused some damage in the long run imo

Ok if thats your experience then thats your experience, I’m sure there are some but it is not going to be the majority.

Even among rich East Asian countries, the memory of poverty and hardship was very recent compared to the UK. They’re here today largely because of the significant economic growth in the 80’s / 90’s. I think, that mindset of “having to work hard to get to where we are” is still alive and kicking today.

Unacceptable, my view if DD wasn’t able to do separate sciences is that we as parents had failed to pay full attention to her areas of weakness and it was on us.

i don’t think I said it was the majority, but it’s certainly enough to make the girks in the class talk about it

What we learn from this is that culturally speaking, parents in the west put a lot less pressure on their kids to succeed academically, which I think is a good thing. Overall happiness and wellbeing is far more important than status and bank account contents.

Ok, you’re right. My use of STEM might not be correct, but these are still broadly “practical” subject areas which gain a lot of popularity among families from developing countries. This is in contrast to art or literature or history or similar. I hope this doesn’t offend anyone - just trying to make a point.

Or maybe your DD isn’t quite good enough in sciences to do the triple science. Not everyone is good at science it even likes science.
You don’t have to always work super hard to try to be good at something when it doesn’t come naturally.
My DD is useless at English. Hates the subject. She’ll never enjoy it. Let her concentrate if what she enjoys

Is this true anymore? I was born in the 80’s and was drunk quite a lot in my youth. Also went to sleepovers. Also went clubbing etc. Women often did drop sports after school (making sure DD tries out quite a few to make sure she has a hobby) but most of the guys in my family played on local football teams. We all went to grammar schools so it wasn’t like we weren’t academic.

I would agree the rules are stricter but are they really still that strict? I don’t have a weekend of peace, playdates, parties etc etc. I know my family is the same, they host playdates they go to playdates, parties, the kids are all doing sports.

Exactly,when I hear on here about: shall my 12 year old comes from school at 9 pm and hangs in the park, is that ok? - gives me chills of horror. Kids are meant to be home after school around the age of 17, standing on that and do homework and see your effort to maintain the home, cook dinner or help you on the farm or family business.

British people are interested only that their teenagers hang out, go to parties, cinemas and look popular.WHY?

Erm well yes obviously, but as a parent your basic job is to be aware of what they are doing and help them prepare. Not be surprised when they failed because you didn’t help them achieve their potential.