Indian & Chinese heritage kids attaining much higher than UK & U. S kids. Can we learn something?

[Keenrower]

Indian & Chinese heritage kids are achieving much better results & seem to have parents who pour all their resources into making this happen. Are their kids just brighter or are parents more aspirational?
Nigerian & Eastern European kids are also very high achieving.
With the new Labour government I think they are very happy to have all kids meeting expectations but these parents will not accept that & I think we have a lot to learn from them.

What is looking after your MH exactly

It's having lots of time to relax, even if it means you don't reach your potential, don't get the qualifications you need to fulfill your dreams or have choices about jobs/future.

What are “their grades”? Who sets them? You?

Why on earth is an entire life mapped out by grades in uni. Who says good grades are needed to buy in London? Why is that so important? The vast majority of the uk population don’t buy in London. What makes that the be all and end all of life and the basis of a life?

It really isn’t

This thread is about an achievement competition focusing on scrutinising what Indian and Asian parents do in order to emulate it and push for more.

There is no consideration about individuality or the rest of what makes a child .

Someone who actually works in the health sector reporting their obsercations are BS but your ‘friend’s’ experience in CAMHS can be taken for gospel as researched back evidence on the link between being high achieving and having poor MH

Riiiiight. There’s a lot of uneducated extrapolations on this thread and they’re all coming from you

That’s your interpretation. As an Indian, I can tell you there absolutely is consideration on individual capabilities and achievements at every stage.

I can also say with certainty, I am much better placed to judge than you

Seeing as you brought up individuality…

It is what that individual wants to achieve so they are working to achieve it. Good grades are not the ONLY way to achieve it but they have decided that is how they are going to do it so they are working hard to get there.

Whether the rest of the population do so or not is irrelevant as it is what they want to do

Unless you are scrutinising 10s of 1000s of medical records which you shouldn’t be you have no idea or knowledge of the details of what patients are coming in for. And how are you working out demographics so accurately?

I’d be deeply concerned if I was at the GP practice you work in.

Oh. My son played football all through school and uni. DD did mock UN and drama. So I guess they have some time to relax but not lots of time.
They are OK with that.

Firstly, it wasn’t me that quoted the information from the GP practice.
Secondly, you are no better placed to be making assumptions about ED and poor MH than they are - that is my point.

Finally, as someone who has spent more than 10 years working in MH, looking at records because I am the one treating the patients, I can say with absolute certainty that poor MH is far more prevalent at the lower end of the socioeconomic scale. By a long, long way.

Your assumptions and assertions are total nonsense with nothing to back them up

Good grades aren't the only way to be successful. But they are a way for people without social capital or family wealth. I am not sure how you get into medicine or engineering or finance without good grades.

The majority of the UK may not want to buy in London. DS does because he wants to pursue a London centric profession.

I completely agree with you and was trying to make the same point to @Summ3rFru1ts who has joined the thread and decided that being a high achieving child or guiding your children to achieve the best they can is the cause of the current MH crisis

Exactly. I’d argue that being able to have choices about future jobs etc is much better for your mental health!

My child has lots of time for relaxation. He also has lots of time for piano and scouting and reading and practicing maths and cycling. It’s all about balance but as usual any discussion which involves parents admitting they don’t let their children coast turns into “you’re damaging their mental health”.

My grandmother was a refugee who came here with nothing, everything she had was taken from her. She always said “They can’t take what’s in your head”.

My DC never knew her, but that attitude is why we prioritise their education over pretty much everything else. You never know what will happen and how your life can change in an instant, but the ability to learn and work hard will always be useful, whatever happens.

They don't practise 'gentle parenting', for one 😂
Their kids thrive with firm boundaries, high expectations, routine and discipline. I know many such families and the kids are happy and confident!

The thread title is really confusing as I don't understand which group Indian and Chinese US and UK children fall into, or whether heritage, ethnicity, and citizenship are being mixed up in racist ways.

Do we not, very odd that you believe you know how every Asian person parents their children.

I recently attended a prize giving that celebrated the highest achievers throughout the year groups up to GCSE and A Level and it was really interesting the large proportion of international sounding names.

I don't mean to say they aren't gentle parents. It was a nod to commonly observation on here that many who profess to be practicing gentle parenting are in fact very permissive, hence the quotation marks used.
Apologies if you felt i generalised, but so did the headline statistic - there will be plenty of those children who don't achieve better than uk and US children.
But my own personal experience is that within those communities i see far less permissive parenting than in the wider community.

There are a lot of lazy stereotypes on the thread. Education buys choices and I think it is important that children learn to work hard to reach their potential. Not every child will get a clutch of 9s. certainly if you look at population level data about health outcomes, lower levels of education and lower income levels are associated with poorer health outcomes.

It is incredibly lazy to say Asian parents all produce robot children who don’t have fun and white parents all value relaxation time and aren’t pushy.

And it was intended as a compliment to those communities, not an insult 🤣

Perhaps they'll be happy knowing they achieved as well as they possibly could?

It is incredibly lazy to say Asian parents all produce robot children who don’t have fun and white parents all value relaxation time and aren’t pushy

I agree.

Lots of these parents send their kids privately- they don’t think state is up to par and they are correct. Culturally there is a much higher emphasis on achievement, so kids are pushed quite hard and often have tutors and many other extra curriculars. Probably not the right approach for all children, but does it get results, yes - it does.

So are yours. Socioeconomic details aren’t included in medical records and you’re lucky if professionals have to the time to even see you let alone scrawl through medical records.

Going by the statistics of the current MH crisis for children and university students and the focus on MH in schools and unis throughout the country it clearly isn’t just children at the lower end of the socioeconomic scale struggling.