Indian & Chinese heritage kids attaining much higher than UK & U. S kids. Can we learn something?

[Keenrower]

Indian & Chinese heritage kids are achieving much better results & seem to have parents who pour all their resources into making this happen. Are their kids just brighter or are parents more aspirational?
Nigerian & Eastern European kids are also very high achieving.
With the new Labour government I think they are very happy to have all kids meeting expectations but these parents will not accept that & I think we have a lot to learn from them.

No continuous pressure, doom mongering about the need to be at the best uni, lack of time to relax and just be mindful/ enjoy life, the lack of time to be bored….. is contributing hugely to poor mental health figures. In our area somebody in CAMHS told me most of their ED case load is girls at the grammar school.

Good mental health needs work. No point getting great Alevels if you are miserable,had MH struggles and drop out of uni or always look back with resentment at your miserable childhood.

And the fact is life isn’t linear. There are so many options to get to where you want to be. Where you want to be may also change and that’s more than ok.Teenagers are so so young and developing. It’s madness putting so much pressure on them so young. The whole system needs to change.

@goodluckbinbin it’s the post school ‘enrichment’ culture too. I am prob an outlier & whilst I don’t disagree with your valid points, education can be ‘fun’ too & as a geek I’d have loved a table at Starbucks to discuss my books & Maths methods.

There’s a sparkiness about the Singaporean kids & some if the educational enrichment programmes hark back to the glory days of intellectual discovery around encyclopedia (sp) Brittanica.

@Keenrower these are the attitudes/ beliefs that support the idea that we shouldn't push kids.

"It's bad for them, it won't make them happy, they'll resent their childhood."

They're quite fashionable beliefs although I'm not sure why. They're not backed up by anything. There is no epidemic of MH issues in Chinese or Indian communities.

And they're not binary choices.

Of course there is a balance to be found.

But I do agree with your OP and it's something I see a lot and have wondered about.

@GabriellaMontez It’s Western short term ism versus Asian long term ism. Culture of Individualism via collectivism. This is all at play too IMO.

I work on a GP surgery and have worked on a number of surgeries in a variety of areas - deprived, affluent, high earners and high benefit claimants.

By far the highest number of children with MH issues are amongst the least educated, low attainment and un-encouraged. This reflects at older ages and does not appear to buck the trend. There are a few, very few instances of higher achiever "burn out " but it is rare.

Exactly.

🤣Hysterical and complete BS!

1. you shouldn’t and won’t be trawling through an entire surgery of private medical notes
2. your own little private survey doesn’t speak for the country as a whole

Almost half of 16/17 year olds are now struggling with mental health issues.Students struggling with MH at university has tripled with 1in 5 students now having a MH diagnosis.

Personally I think parents should be focusing on MH rather than engaging in some kind of achievement competition.

I don't know anything about MH issues on the whole. I can tell you that being poor wouldn't be great for my MH or that of my family. It's not fun. Especially if you have no family wealth to fall back on.

The epidemic of MH issues amongst young people may well have to do with social media, the pandemic and other factors. I doubt it can be blamed on Asians.

As for EDS I think the bigger problem is the UK is obesity.

Eating disorders have increased by 84% and kill. They are hugely dangerous and difficult to treat once entrenched.The cost to the NHS annd impact on paed wards is massive. Any parent with a child who has an eating disorder has a very big problem.

Well I am not going to encourage my DC to do poorly in uni and coast along on the off chance that they get a disorder.

Who is blaming it on Asians? 🤔Simply replying to this thread and pointing out the MH crisis amongst young people which ridiculous academic competition and pressure such as we’ve seen on this thread doesn’t help.

When your child is at uni they are an adult and independent.

But you have no idea what is responsible for the MH crisis.

You have absolutely no evidence it is linked to academic competition. (Other than a story someone from your local camhs told you.)

It's just as likely fuelled by social media or poverty or any other number of factors.

And how does one encourage their child to do poorly at uni exactly?

How about encouraging your child to look after their MH and just appreciate them for themselves instead of their achievements.

Sure. But if they dont work at it I stop paying. We don't get a grant so I am not paying for partying. Otherwise they can fund uni themselves. Seems to be working for us.

I don't expect anyone non Asian to understand just like I don't expect anyone to understand why I won't be charging my DC any rent. Others do so their DC can learn financial responsibility, and that's up to them. The cultures are pretty different.

Doesn’t take a genius to work out parental pressure and academic stress won’t help. The dramatic rise in uni students with MH diagnoses and drop out rates indicate the current education system and academic pressure doesn’t help.

For some parents it’s like a race and all consuming. It’s horrific.

How lovely.

How do you know if they’re working?

What is looking after your MH exactly? Do badly so you don't get a job and have even worse MH? There are a huge number of people on MN too anxious to leave their homes and I doubt it's because their parents helped them with their homework. But you do you.

What is doing badly?

They got their grades. At least one wants to buy in London so he needs good grades.

They really don't indicate that at all.

Although it's possible they're linked.

There are so many factors that could be responsible.

But, as you've provided anecdotes to support your belief, you're clearly determined to maintain it and I doubt anything anyone says will change your mind.

Do you see the irony in decrying other people's experiences as "hysterical bullshit"?

It is possible to work hard AND have downtime where you relax. In practise, this is my primary aged children spending 20-30 minutes every evening doing some work and a further 20 minutes reading with me before bed. The rest of their time from 4pm to bedtime is for fun. Equally, encouraging teenagers to prioritise and use study time effectively to work hard before they socialise or do anything else is not harming their mental health.

You have decided that encouraging a child to put in the best they can do is continuous pressure to be the best in the class. It is not. There will always be some extreme examples where parents do this but, as a whole, most parents are trying to ensure their child has options in a world where they are at a disadvantage just because of their background