AIBU to worry about telling colleagues that I’m going to Israel?

[Doubtfulso]

I’ve got a close friends wedding in Israel in 2 months and I am a bridesmaid. She is Israeli and so of course having her wedding in her home country.

I need to book the time off work now, and I work in the kind of company where everyone asks where you’re going or where you’ve been when you book leave.

there’s a lot of anger and strong feelings against Israel at the moment, and I’m worried that colleagues will turn against me or start treating me different when they know that I’m going to Israel.

would I be unreasonable to lie and tell them I’m going somewhere else, or should I be honest?

The fact you are worried about telling colleagues doesn’t reflect well.

Go and have a nice time, it is not your responsibility to educate colleagues or explain yourself.

Israel are in a war, but you are going to a friends wedding.

If colleagues want you to boycott your friends wedding as it’s in Israel, well that speaks volumes doesn’t it.

Is it safe to go to that part of the world at the present time? But if you are happy to go there why should it matter what your colleagues think.

I wouldn’t lie. You’ve made the decision to go and should own that decision. Most people wouldn’t think too deeply about the fact you are going to the wedding of a close friend, other than to express safety concerns. Lying would make the decision seem shameful which isn’t a reflection of how you feel about your decision.

Your colleagues sound like twats

Fuck em and what they might think.

Absolutely. What hamas did last October was absolutely horrific and unjustifiable. I also think the same of many actions of the Israeli government and IDF both before and after last October. I also don’t think Hamas think twice about putting ordinary Palestinian civilians in the line of fire. I’m very happy to judge both sides for their actions and to judge their supporters likewise.

Well said. Yes, you are a great friend supporting her for her wedding.

Apologies maybe I shouldn’t have quoted you - I assume (but don’t know) they were responding to your comment that it is a legitimate place to holiday. I think many people are of the opinion it isn’t (and as I’ve said in my other posts I also wouldn’t think hamas controlled territory, Russia, China, uae, Congo, and many other places are legitimate places to holiday). However the OP and her Israeli friend are not to blame for the atrocities committed on both sides. I hope they have a safe and happy wedding.

Has to be 😂

I wouldn't judge, you i don't think a lot of people would.

I don't think most people in this country really give a toss what's happening there and are more interested in their own life's.

It's only a minority of idiots who would get angry with you for going and that's their problem.

Not sure anyone going to Isreal right now is reasonable, you’re just putting yourself at risk and walking into an active war zone.

It's a tricky one in that you may well encounter people who have strong reactions (hopefully professional enough not to be unpleasant to you), but at the same time you're absolutely entitled to support your friend on her wedding day, and to travel wherever you need/want to go.

I suppose you need to consider how your colleagues may react and what the consequences could be of telling them, and how confident you are that HR would support you, given that you're not doing anything wrong or against company policy by travelling to a friend's wedding in your own time.

I am so sorry for what your friend and her loved ones have gone through and continue to endure. I hope she has a beautiful day - one of the ways to defeat darkness is to grasp and celebrate every bit of lightness and hope we can find.

I think sod your colleagues it is a loving and supportive friends wedding they should not say anything about it. I would not give them head space if they make derogatory comments put them in their place nicely. It is a happy and exciting time that my friend and her family deserve to enjoy and I cannot wait to go. As other posters have said keep your interactions positive and don't listen to anything negative. Have a wonderful time and I hope your friend has an amazing day 😊 💗

I hope you go and have a fantastic time with your friend.

Personally I would be honest, and if people don't like it - tough shit. You arent required to listen to their opinions or engage with them.

I personally would tell them and also tell them to fuck off if they had anything negative to say but that is me, you can just say you are a friends bridesmaid and are going to her home country.
Best check with the F.O before you set off.

I can’t seem to edit my post, but id say that to anyone going to any country engaged in a war too - not just Isreal. If there wasn’t active conflicts I’d think anyone who had an issue with it was bananas.

FCDO advises against all Travel to Isreal so you wouldnt get any insurance and you risk the British Embassy not helping if you go out there and there is an issue

I wouldn’t tell my colleagues where I was going if I were you OP but I’m someone who has supported Palestine my entire adult life and wouldn’t visit Israel for all the money in the world.

This. It's a country at war. I wouldn't be going there for a wedding. Seems mad.

Genuine question…judge her for what exactly?

I can’t advise you to lie as I don’t agree with it. Just be aware if you tell people where you are going you will get a lot of opprobrium.

For what it’s worth I would support you and your friend.

Thank you for supporting your friend OP.

Where I work, I have to declare trips to dangerous locations and get permission in effect. Do you need to consider that?

In 2 months time things are going to be a lot worse in Israel especially with the war against Lebanon. Please think clearly about the risk OP.