AIBU to worry about telling colleagues that I’m going to Israel?

[Doubtfulso]

I’ve got a close friends wedding in Israel in 2 months and I am a bridesmaid. She is Israeli and so of course having her wedding in her home country.

I need to book the time off work now, and I work in the kind of company where everyone asks where you’re going or where you’ve been when you book leave.

there’s a lot of anger and strong feelings against Israel at the moment, and I’m worried that colleagues will turn against me or start treating me different when they know that I’m going to Israel.

would I be unreasonable to lie and tell them I’m going somewhere else, or should I be honest?

It isn't a legitimate state? Or it isn't fighting a terrorist a terrorist organisation? (Or two terrorist organisations right now).

I wouldn't judge you at all, however you may struggle to get insurance for your trip (and I would never travel without it) as the FCO advises against all but essential travel (and no travel in certain regions) and a wedding is not essential to attend. So for that I wouldn't be going.

I think the majority of people here don't feel any type of way about the political/historical events, more just concern and horror about the people being targeted on both sides. I would be extremely concerned for your safety going there and would think you are mad to consider it for a wedding.

I would have absolutely no qualms about telling people I was going there for a wedding.

Thanks everyone. I have Israeli insurance which hopefully will be fine, and have booked through El-Al so fingers crossed it won’t be cancelled.

People at work tend to avoid the whole israel Palestine topic altogether, so I can’t imagine anyone saying anything negative to me. I worry more about the silent judgement and people thinking of me negatively. But I also hate lying!

Any negative comments at work could be treated as anti-Semitism.

I've had comments and eyebrows raised for several countries I've been to or planned to go to. From China to El Salvador gets 'human rights' comments and safety comments. Why on earth should one country with a human rights issue be excluded?

OP I know my Jewish and Israeli friends worry about just being, never mind visiting. However, most of the non-Jewish, non-Israeli people I know are on the 'side' of non-combatants and are loving and supportive to their friends even if they are not supportive of the actions of Israel. Hopefully, you'll be surprised.

I'd tell the truth @Doubtfulso. I don't have the necessary headspace for lying and would out myself sooner or later.

Which 'non combatants'? They ones who attacked Israel and are still holding hostages including a one year old child?

Your travel options are going to be very limited if you avoid countries that haven't committed war crimes or genocide.

Probably should leave the UK if you're there.

Maybe a yacht in the middle of the ocean?

I'm sorry, but Israel is no worse than many, many other countries and the people who bang on about it need to educate themselves on the atrocities being committed daily elsewhere that don't get nearly as much social media attention.

I would think it would be fine to tell people you are going from a judgement sort of way. She’s a friend, she lives there and is having her wedding there 🤷‍♀️. It doesn’t say anything about you (or her!) and whether you agree with the action of the Israeli government or not? However, I would be worried for your safety and think about not booking anything until the situation has died down…in two months they could be in all out war. I wouldn’t be happy with any of my loved ones travelling there now due to that

I'd double check that insurance tbh over colleagues reactions. I wouldn't worry too much about the latter

No @Mumsntfan1 actual non-combatants. Children, old people, women. You know, the humans who are dead and dying, including the hostages, and the dead children in Gaza.

It's impossible to talk about this without this kind of assumption. Exactly what OP is talking about, but from the other direction.

For anyone to expect you to NOT support a friend due to Nationality, Race, Religion, Skin color, disability, Sex/gender/etc
is completely wrong.

I would say very much looking forward to friends wedding, they are great couple.

whatever else crap comments, I would say -

Oh please keep it positive, this is a wedding and I’m looking forward to it.

keep it typical wedding each time they spout -

I’m going to be buying matching shoes … and trying a new lipstick … Jewish weddings are great fun (they are!) …

And judging by some of the responses, I think we can see why the op is feeling concerned about telling people.

True I just thought that

She should be

I agree, I wouldn't tell anyone and probably wouldn't go anyway due to safety concerns, the whole situation is escalating and a wedding isn't essential, it can be video and facetime, it's just not worth the risk imo.

I’m going to support a very close friend on her wedding day. She and her family were on one of the kibbutz’s that was attacked by Hamas. Many of her neighbours were murdered or taken hostage and she is displaced in a different city. I think she deserves a bit of happiness on her wedding day.

I don't tell work colleagues anything. They aren't my friends. If anyone asked I'd just say I'm going to a wedding.

You implied there were only non combatants on one side. Otherwise why would you need to take sides?

Op, I wouldn't judge and I was going to say that others wouldn't either. And then I read some of the replies here. There are lots of strong feelings, and justifiably so, but you just want to be a bridesmaid at your friend's wedding. Lots of people have family and friends out there.

I would however be worried about your safety. Haven't some countries begun advising their citizens not to travel there because the situation is so unpredictable?

Your friend deserves happiness and only you can decide if you feel it's safe for you to visit. Your colleagues don't need to know and there may well be some who don't support you but that's your choice how to deal with them if you do tell them,

Correct. Your friend is not the government and shes
deserves your support.

I agree, tell the truth. Most habitants of Israel are not involved with the war. They want to live their lives as normally as possible, and that includes getting married.

Go and enjoy your time with them if you are ok with the risks. Anyone judging you are probably not worth your time and energy.