AIBU to worry about telling colleagues that I’m going to Israel?

[Doubtfulso]

I’ve got a close friends wedding in Israel in 2 months and I am a bridesmaid. She is Israeli and so of course having her wedding in her home country.

I need to book the time off work now, and I work in the kind of company where everyone asks where you’re going or where you’ve been when you book leave.

there’s a lot of anger and strong feelings against Israel at the moment, and I’m worried that colleagues will turn against me or start treating me different when they know that I’m going to Israel.

would I be unreasonable to lie and tell them I’m going somewhere else, or should I be honest?

Honestly if you’re not on the borders you’ll be reasonably safe. I wouldn’t be unduly concerned. The main areas are trying to carry on as normal although there are a lot of anti government protests esp in tel Aviv

This is the sort of comment you are going to get. I would say you are being a bridesmaid and not mention the destination country unless asked.

Yeah that's it not the thousands of innocent Palestinians killed, children and babies maimed, left orphans, starving etc not that.
Its antisemitism that's it!

I literally put 'side' in those '' to indicate it wasn't a side.

I know it's difficult to be reasonable and measured in these conversations. But I didn't imply anything, you assumed.

I am muslim and detest the Israeli government and what they are doing in Palestine. But I also feel awful for the hostages, their families and all the many innocent Israelis who find the actions of the IDF abhorrent.

I would not judge you. You are simply attending a friend’s wedding. I think you are amazing. I confess I would be too scared to go and would discourage any close family from attending. What a great friend you are. You should not have to hide this.

I would lie and say you are going to the Maldives!

How do you feel about people travelling to China considering the genocide of the Uyghurs?

It’s fighting a terrorist organisation and it is also actively committing war crimes, facilitated by the US and UK governments. The October attacks were a barbaric atrocity and the hostages should immediately be released. The Israeli government has, and is, committing terrible war crimes resulting in the deaths on tens of thousands of people. Both are true. I judge someone who supports hamas as much as someone who supports the Israeli government.

@Doubtfulso

personally I wouldn't go, I'm too fearful of the situation.

However, if I was I'd just say 'to my friends wedding, we've been friends xx years & her partner is lovely too. I can't wait to celebrate with them.

if they ask where I'd fudge as long as possible 'it's in her home town, blah blah blah I've been /not been before blah blah.

basically bore them not asking much more.

I wouldn't lie, but I'd avoid avoid avoid as much as possible!

inhop you have a lovely time.

Agree with this. I couldn't possibly travel to a country that is openly committing genocide and expanding their illegal occupation of another state. Just the thought of all those children being starved, maimed, brutalised and murdered right next door would stop me going.

However, this is a workplace, they have no right to comment and you can escalate to HR if needed.

I'm disgusted with what the Israeli government is doing at the moment but it wouldn't occur to me to judge you for going to a friend's wedding in Israel. I certainly don't hold all Israeli people responsible for what their government is doing at all, and I hope you all have a marvellous time. I might worry a bit about your safety though... things are so volatile at the moment.

The political leadership is absolutely dreadful on both sides of this conflict, but hopefully most people are capable of understanding that the vast majority of civilians, whether they are Israeli, Palestinian, Lebanese or whatever, just want to get on with their lives in peace and without fear. I look forward to a time when that might be possible again.

I clearly said ‘committing’ which is the present tense. Of cause each country has done questionable or terrible things over time.

Apology accepted.

Could you go to China?

@Comedycook no, I would not go to China, nor would I go to Dubai, Abu Dhabi etc and a list of others countries for various human rights violations.

I don’t agree with everywhere other people go. I personally wouldn’t set foot inside Turkey or Dubai for example. However, I have a colleague who visits Dubai regularly to see family and I don’t judge her for it at all. Her photos are always nice too.

No apology given.

There are plenty of other CURRENT genocides happening that aren't popular enough for people to virtue signal over.

Nice to know you would judge somebody for supporting Hamas.

I'd say 'I'm going to be a bridesmaid for a good friend'. No need to add any more detail if you're concerned about people making comments..

Good for you, but I was wondering what the poster I was responding to meant by "no it isn't".

This. Quiet life is much easier! Just say you're going to a friends wedding and as youre a bridesmaid so need a few days off - then people will just assume its in the UK.

Oh well, if it’s in the past, I guess it’s over now? How recent is too recent for you?

I bet they buy products from China…

Well, current is obviously too recent. Why are you so aggrieved that I wouldn’t wish to visit a country that is actively committing genocide? What type of person does that make you?

Despite being unimpressed, to put it mildly, by the recent actions of Israel, I wouldn't judge you at all and I'm surprised by how many people here are openly saying they would. I think you're brave, though, and an excellent friend.

I don't know the answer to your actual question. The replies here suggest that telling your colleagues the truth might cause more trouble than expected. Personally I think I'd still be honest, but I'd be braced for having to do some explaining and I'd be quite pissed off about the need for that.

Israel is also committing genocide.