AIBU to worry about telling colleagues that I’m going to Israel?

[Doubtfulso]

I’ve got a close friends wedding in Israel in 2 months and I am a bridesmaid. She is Israeli and so of course having her wedding in her home country.

I need to book the time off work now, and I work in the kind of company where everyone asks where you’re going or where you’ve been when you book leave.

there’s a lot of anger and strong feelings against Israel at the moment, and I’m worried that colleagues will turn against me or start treating me different when they know that I’m going to Israel.

would I be unreasonable to lie and tell them I’m going somewhere else, or should I be honest?

I don’t see anybody who’s pro-Israel being labeled as Islamophobic. You’re allowed to disagree with the actions of a country without hating a population/race/religion

@Comedycook Sure thing 😅😅😅

Pleased you find it so funny

There has been a significant increase, as a result of antisemites being antisemitic.

Good thing no one is saying otherwise.

DD has been invited by her best friend, to be bridesmaid, next year in Israel. She is declining because of safety concerns.

She is English, her DM and all her friends are here. She has chosen to have her wedding in Israel, and sadly most people won't be going

I think it's bonkers to be choosing to fly into Israel right now, and I can imagine it'll only be worse in two months. I have a friend near Tel Aviv who is frequently posting on FB about the sirens going off and posting videos of drones and rockets overhead, and it looks like it's about to descend into all-out war in the region very soon, so going for what is essentially a leisure trip is what would make me raise my eyebrows, not any comment on the destination itself. It would entirely be the safety thing and I would definitely think it was very ill-judged, although I would keep my opinion and comments to myself.

I hope you all stay safe.

There’s several times in this thread alone that the term ‘antisemite’ has been thrown around where it doesn’t seem warranted.

You've spectacularly missed the point.

It is extremely rare for anyone to be called an anti semite for just opposing the Israeli government... however we are constantly told that's what we're doing..and we are constantly told that we are imagining anti semitism . We are constantly told other Jews say xyz, so why don't we?

Op can you say more about your insurance?

How does it cover you

I don't think most people would you grief. But I do think it's wildly irresponsible to travel into a war zone for a wedding. I hope you won't expect to be evacuated.

Yes some Jews hate what is happening and some are also sntisemites
There are famous household names who happen to be Jewish and are known antisemites.

Op head over to the CITME pages. There are posters arguing that it's 'not business as usual' there and denied that Israeli people were going to work, having meals etc, even in the 'nice' parts apparently. T

Anyway I wouldn't go as it's majorly kicking off and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.

I am Jewish and British (and white) and get extensively grilled by Israeli security. Once they tested my knowledge of Jewish holidays for example. There are many black Israelis, I am sure the security suss out pretty quickly if they are questioning an Israeli.

Also approx 50% or more of Jewish Israelis are not white. Descended from Iraqi, Iranian, Yemenite, Syrian, North African etc Jews. I am Jewish and know plenty of non white Jews and still have a hard time telling if they are Jewish or Muslim until I actually speak to them.

So quite funny that you think non white people have a harder time with Israeli security. Its likely anyone who is not obviously Israeli/Jewish who get extra grilling.

Massive difference between being Jewish and being Israeli. You aren't anti-semitic to disagree with what Israel are doing. And I say that as someone who is Jewish.

I am an Israeli Jew. I currently live in the UK but my family are in Israel and I visit several times per year. We live in a border town and I lost two family members in the October massacre.
My experience so far has been that when people find out I am Israeli they express concern for my family’s safety and ask about my experiences of growing up there. I’ve had the occasional negative comment but as I point out, it’s not like I had any say about where I fell out of my mother. I also didn’t vote for Netanyahu BUT I also can’t claim I know the answers for how the situation should have been dealt with.
Conversely, I’ve had more abuse from people about the situation in Israel when they’ve found out on Jewish without knowing my nationality. This is purely anecdotal and could be pure bad luck, but it makes the whole ‘antizionist not antisemitic’ line I keep hearing very hard to swallow.

So with that in mind I’d say don’t hide where you’re going. Israel is a beautiful country with such a rich culture, wonderful food, friendly people etc. People may well be concerned for your safety but you can reassure them. Enjoy the wedding 💜

I suspect most people will be worried for your safety, not making political comments or assumptions.

I assume you have not and will not be visiting the US who always have a finger in someone else's pie.

Are you serious?!?! Being against the Israeli government action is not the same as being anti-Semitic. And there is absolutely no ban on discussing politics in the workplace. What a ridiculous and dangerous comment.

I agree.
I would tell the truth, when you start making up stories you forget what you've told to whom and it gets complicated, but I would make it clear that the wedding is there because the bride is Israeli so it's not you who's chosen the destination.

"I think any discussion on politics is unacceptable in the workplace"

It totally depends on the workplace doesn't it. Plenty of workplaces are ideological or political to begin with.

Yes, and if you reported a colleague for being anti-semitic for disagreeing with the Israeli government, they could report you back for diffamation.

I'm Jewish-Israeli. I've visted Europe/UK (4 countries in total) a few times for work since the war. I absolutely understand your question. Indeed, I was sitting with a Palestinian-Israeli colleague on a train in a European country, I was having a nice chat with the woman opposite me, then eventually she asked "where are you from?" and both my colleague and I burst out laughing because before we left we had discussed simply saying a random country in a situation like this to avoid "the conversation". Anyway, she just wanted to know whether I had any great ideas about how the conflict will end, and I don't really but gave her the best "insights" I've got, then we went back to normal conversation.

My experience, both with strangers and with overseas colleagues, has overwhelmingly been that even when I know people are vehemently pro-Palestine/anti-Israel, they don't come out with the kind of aggressive political comments we see on this thread to my face, maybe simply because most people are not interested in picking fights. In the vast majority of cases, people are just curious to hear a bit about what things are like behind the headlines, they are sympathetic to the challenges of living in a conflict zone, and sometimes they are itching to ask questions. In a minority of cases, people were polite but basically ignored me.

So I think you'll be fine, and in reality, there's a lot less political flame throwing in real life than on the internet, and obviously it helps if you keep the conversation to personal experiences rather than political opinions.

All the civilians that are dying, fucking obviously

A (native British) colleague went to Russia for a holiday a few months ago, came gushing about what an amazing highly cultured country it is and what a shame it is treated so unfriendly with direct flights cancelled. No one said a word, although the silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I think you'll be fine, OP.