To think people shouldn't have sex with people unless you would both be happy and able to raise children together?

[Jjiillkkf]

Just reading the thread about the mother's of disabled children they have really struggled to cope with and no mention of fathers. Should society stigmatise abandoning families more? Would that not necessarily include discouraging quite so much recreational sex because of the potential outcomes?

Also inspired by other threads by women who alter an otherwise positive dynamic in their new relationship by having sex with their new partner.

Why is sex the be all and end all when it creates so many problems.

Aibu to think it is nothing but love and kindness to tell our sons and daughters to save it for a good person in a mutually loving, stable, permanent relationship?

Something about the casual references to abortions (plural!) turns my stomach. Just another form of contraption. Because casual sex without responsibility is fun.
Genuinely revolted.

@Alectoishome "Something about the casual references to abortions (plural!) turns my stomach. Just another form of contraption. Because casual sex without responsibility is fun.
Genuinely revolted"

Personally, I am genuinely revolted at the idea of forced birth.

Marvellous things called contraception are available.

So should people who don't want kids never have sex?

Sex is not just for procreation you know?

Of course I don’t WANT an abortion. I am extremely responsible with my contraception in the hope I never have to. But I think having a child I don’t want is WAY worse and I am fairly depressed that you think it’s better to bring an unwanted child into the world who I have tried my very hardest to avoid and be a shit parent than to have a very early abortion. I am glad I don’t live in 1930 so that my only option to have sex is not linked to having to marry a man and that I cannot live the life I want.

Also, I slept with my bf at 17. He'd have made a good Dad, his parents definitely would have made him step up, and I loved him. So if you'd said "do you love him enough that in the worse case scenario (pregnancy with abortion unavailable) you could raise a child together? I'd have said yes.

But I may also have said yes with a guy who appeared that good, but only because he'd never been married with kids before, only because I'd never seen his temper before, only because we'd never been trapped in a sleepless hell of newborn babies, only because we'd never tried raising a medically complex child together.

Of course the threat of having to be with someone forever if I had sex with them would have put me off some guys but it wouldn't have put my sister off her physically abusive husband, because he wasn't then. He was the perfect guy!!

Do you want people locked into relationships forever because they can't be seen to be wrong?

And people have had sex with inappropriate people for as long as we've been people. And no doubt before that.

Agree. Reproductive slavery is unspeakably vile.

I completely agree, as if taking an innocent life is the easiest thing in the world.

One of my friends who was using Contraception, got pregnant not long ago.

Thet have never said that Contraception 100% prevents pregnancy

I think the casual way some people bring children into the world is far more unspeakable tbh

Neither "forced births" or abortions are pleasant things to think about are they.

No one has "Anne had an abortion. Great!".

They are both very sad things.

It's sad that all of these awful, sad riaky things happen to women.

Men have not much reproductive risk at all from sex. Another unfairness

Why don't men take more contraception??

So are you saying OP that the only sex you've had in life is TTC sex? Or are you a virgin?

@Abbylikeswine "

"No one has "Anne had an abortion. Great!"."

I have said the equivalent of "Anne has had an abortion-thank f for that!"

And an abortion is not always a "very sad thing."

There is no contraceptive they can take yet.

Which seems to fail on a regular basis and abortion is something that they can't do for a multitude of reasons.

Oh stop with the emotionally manipulative 'innocent' life bs to guilt women and girls. It's not a 'life'. It doesn't have sentience or nerve receptors until the third trimester. So please keep anti-choice and emotionally manipulative gaslighting comments out of here.

I agree abortion is absolutely necessary.

I was more thinking of the sadness and trauma that some of the women have to go through that have an abortion.

It's just annoying that women have to suffer through everything and men never have to do any of this stuff.

I have a friend that still crys and feels very guilty about an abortion that she had ten years ago.

Not really. I’ve never wanted children and any accidental pregnancy would be terminated, so not really a risk at all.

Termination is not easy or risk free though.

I was just reading Britney spears autobiography. She spoke about having an abortion.

She said that she took the pill at home and then that she was in terrible pain. She said that she was in such terrible pain that she coulsnt get off tbe floor, and she was on the floor holding onto the toilet for a very long time

People that I know who've had an abortion, are still traumatised by it.

I agree about fathers abandoning their children.

But that’s it. Sex isn’t just about reproducing, it’s also about fun and enjoyment.

It’s also a reason why free and easy access to contraception and abortions is important.

Yeah I'm sure loads of women think abortion is great fun 🙄

Abortion is safer than birth. I don't think anyone pretends it's not a serious and potentially traumatising thing.

Having a child you don't want is also traumatic and painful.

I think your point is that counselling and pain relief should be available, not that abortion shouldn't be available.

@Abbylikeswine "I have a friend that still crys and feels very guilty about an abortion that she had ten years ago."

That's very sad- it sounds as if she has unresolved issues and could maybe benefit from some therapy? I hope she gets the help she needs. However, you also know many other women for whom it was an unpleasant but necessary event that they moved on from without trauma and at most a passing sadness.