To fucking hate this with my toddler?

[Cantdothiss]

Obviously I love ds and I have huge protective feelings towards him and do absolutely all I can to make sure he is as happy as possible.

But im fucking hating parenting at the moment. He's two and two months and I just hate it. I hate dressing him, feeding him, bathing him, driving him anywhere, walking anywhere with him. It’s just all fucking shit. I don’t even think he is that much trouble compared with a lot of toddlers, which shows how pathetic I must be to be finding it so shit.

I honestly despise it. Yes now and then he does or says something cute but it’s mostly just a fucking awful slog and I am sick of being hit or my back hurting from going in and out of fucking car seats. Sick of not being able to think straight when he’s around and sick of having to clear up mess after mess. When will this end? I am so miserable

I actually don’t know how people enjoy this?? How? There’s so many things I would rather be doing than all this fucking drudgery

Are you with him full time?

@Abigaillovesholidays no I work four days and have a day off with him. He spends Saturdays with his dad and Sundays we all spend together

I mean, I went back to work!

People are suited to different stages. I loved post-toddler and really like tween-teen. But babies? I'd rather stick pins in my eyes.

Do you have any help?

It’s really hard. My son is almost exactly the same age as yours, and they are so difficult. I adore him and he’s the most amazing kid but he’s so hard.

Does yours go to nursery? He goes three days a week (I work four days but partner has a day off)

It’s a tough age

YANBU. Toddlers are arseholes.

So only one long day with him?

Is that typically when you feel like this?

I have a 2 & 3 year old. It’s fucking awful

Yes, toddlers are terrible. Occasionally cute but mostly awful. It gets better around 3-3.5 when they can start to talk more.

I just really and truly hate it. I am so surprised I feel like this as I thought I would have masses of patience and be so happy and bouncy all the time.

it’s just constant utter shit

I guess op has before and after nursery too with the ‘no I will not walk but I will not go in my
buggy’ fun every time too

Some stages are very dull. I think what I found so hard was everything being so fecking slow sometimes. I just wanted them dressed. Wanted to walk down the street without stopping a million times. I think it’s hard and you just need to get what support and breaks you can, try to accept this is how it is for now and find whatever inventive ways you can to bring enjoyment for you. I think at that stage I found the best was somewhere like a museum where they could zoom about and I just followed. Hang in there.

@Cantdothiss what do you do with him? We do a music class together which he loves and I love watching him love it and engage with the music

I guess op has before and after nursery too with the ‘no I will not walk but I will not go in my buggy’ fun every time too

God yes, no judgement here. Just seeing if she needs breaking-up-the-day advice or general toddler advice. Or just reassurance that tweens aren't as bad

DD famously up and walked out of a music class. And was asked to leave two dance classes. <proud>

She's great now.

I'm completely in agreement with you and am not being Pollyanna but -- you're the only one with any power to make this more fun. Try reading 'aha! parenting' or 'playful parenting' for she ideas about how you can reframe things. Also to be honest antidepressants are marvellous things.

Does he /you get enough sleep? After 9 months of broken sleep and bf I could have happily left ds at the recycling centre....

Does he /you get enough sleep? After 9 months of broken sleep and bf I could have happily left ds at the recycling centre....

I’m sorry you feel the way you do. I enjoyed that age with my DC but it was undoubtedly hard work - tho tbh my second has always been a joy and I genuinely enjoy the time I spend with him, my first was harder work.

I do find it helps to break up the days. I also use a gym with a creche which helps alot and hour or two to myself when I have them for a full day recharges me enough to enjoy my days.

Don't feel bad about the implications you should be coping as you have nursery days. That just means time pressure, having to sort being dressed and ready and traveling and working, then getting them back knackered and grumpy at the end of the day and feeling like you should treasure your time together.

age 3 exactly they suddenly wanted to actually play with others and life got better.

YOU NEED A BREAK!! Ask family/friends to have your DS every once in a while so you can get a breather. You are normal, just human and not super woman (none of us are ).

I am worried your toddler might be picking up on your feelings. They don't understand but can sense an awful lot. Can you speak to your Health Visitor? Feelings of dissatisfaction are quite common at this stage. However every second word in your post seems to be "hate". Do you feel trapped? Do you think counselling might help? Please do speak to your Health Visitor or GP

Yes, I have a 5 yr old and almost 3 yr old and I definitely let DH deal with the younger one. He was super difficult and I had no patience for it.
Recently though we have turned huge corners and he's now an absolute mummy's boy and he's fun and life is getting easier. Especially now he has started potty training.

There is light at the end of the tunnel

I hear you! My toddler is nearly 2 and he's a bellend of the very highest order.

He's gorgeous, funny and so sweet at times, but Christ alive he can be an utter wanker.