Loud parenting and grandparenting that goes on and on...

[FiveLoadsFourLiftsThreeMeals]

Am I unreasonable to be irritated by the unnecessarily loud, fake/ over enthusiastic "cheerleading" style of child-accompanying that seems to happen when multiple family members accompany or look after one or two small children?

Longer background for the few who can be bothered to read below no need to read it obviously:

I'm very tolerant of child noise (as in noise made by the actual children) but my neighbours have had their little granddaughter all summer, while I was off work and at weekends and oh my goodness the grandparents are so loud! At first I told myself it's nice they're so enthusiastic, but they're in the garden basically cheerleading in kind of loud baby voices for hours every day, and when the parents collect the little girl (coincidentally just after I get in from work on week days) they settle in for an hour before taking her home and join in and there are four of them at it!

I've been noticing similar out and about (two parents with one toddler at the pool were trying to work their child up to whoop and scream by doing so themselves going down the (toddler size) slides and then splashing him and each other directly on the pool steps even though the child himself was playing contentedly and fairly quietly, scooping and pouring water from his little bucket just making the odd comments and smiles to his parents until they got him riled up).

Just now I was out for a walk and an extended family coming up behind me were the same - five adults on foot being loud kind of at two relatively quiet small children on little bikes, with lots of shouted baby talk and cheerleading. They were the only other people around and were maintaining a distance about 30 meters behind me and completely ruined the otherwise potentially very peaceful walk.

YANBU to find the adults annoying or

YABU and a grumpy old woman?

My in-laws do this and I find it annoying and that’s with my own children!

When we were on holiday in Mexico last year there were a number of Canadians who kept shouting good job at their kids at the top of their voices so everyone could hear. It could have been anything from eating a pea on their plates to jumping in the pool. Drove me nuts ! "Good job" seems to be travelling across the pond too now 😫

I prefer it to parents not interacting with their kids.

Yes. Performance grandparenting! Awful, and not for the benefit of the child mostly.

Try going to a theatre for a children’s show. In the quiet bits of The Snowman, it was like being in a coffee shop with all the grannies giving a running commentary of what was on stage to their little darlings. I did consider asking one woman if she wouldn’t mind bring the chat down to a mere whisper.

On one hand, how lovely that the child is being brought up with such loving parents and extended family that get together and boost confidence and morale etc etc but on the other hand, please, just shut the fuck up sometimes.

Yes, I kind of agree with all the comments so far including the one disagreeing with me by pointing out that completely ignoring the child is probably worse. Children don't profit from absolutely unrelenting interaction though especially when it's not child centered really (the parents of the little boy at the pool could have interacted with his chosen activity - which was actually a really good "discovering and experimenting" activity and which he was enjoying - by responding in kind to his little comments but given him room to discover and play independently as he was trying to, rather than try to get him riled up and change his activity to whooping and squealing on the slides and splashing and shouting which is what they were trying to redirect him to do).

Argh this would ruin the show for all the other children and probably for the grandchildren themselves! Why talk over it? That must have been infuriating!

Better than them all sat on their phones ignoring the child

I don't imagine it's performative if they're in their own garden! They're loud and enthusiastic. They love the kid. There's a lot more to get upset about in the world.

😵‍💫😯 Things like "Woo hoo Ted well done, you've got out of your chair! Lets sing a song from your youth on the way to the photocopier! Come on! Dance with me! "We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine!" Come on! Join in, lets dance! Look at you photocopying that end of year report by yourself! Not bad for an old guy! Three cheers for Ted!

I guess it's people with Main Character Syndrome who think an imaginary audience is interested primarily in watching and listening to their response to the individual ... (Ok that is probably mean and cynical, but there's a grain of truth isn't there? 😳😜)

Oh indeed.

Irritating though - not upsetting. We live in a semi, the grandparents drown out the birdsong. First world problems, like having a little stone in your shoe or an eyelash in your eye which you can't remove at the moment because you're driving and there's no appropriate place to stop... It's the little things that sometimes make life pleasing and not enjoying your garden in the last hour if sunshine after work because the neighbours are cooing and loudly baby talking over on another for the entire hour until it's too chilly to sit outside is mildly annoying.

I was just about to say the same thing

I think on balance all this interaction is probably beneficial for the kids. It's just bloody annoying for bystanders. I feel your pain but I think we're probably the unreasonable ones.

I have a secret intolerance for parents who actively entertain their kids on planes and trains. I hate "I spy", I hate quizzes, I hate the sound that crayons make when they drop on the floor, I hate having to pick them up when they roll near me, I hate loud reading with different voices and singing songs. I love it when parents plug their kids into devices with headphones and commuter train levels of silence resume.

I accept that the issue is me not them though. So I smile and make friendly remarks to the kids if called upon.

I've had a neighbour bang on my wall to tell me to shut up when I talk to my cats. I'm always telling them from across the room how much I love them and how lovely they are lol

I think it's a 'you' problem. They are not 'performing '.They are engaging with and encouraging their grandchild

God, I am one of these parents. I hate myself for it as well but my only defence is that my eldest is speech delayed and to get his attention when he was younger to try and interact with him I had to give a Blippi level performance every day. Now I can’t stop and I’ve almost forgotten what normal interactions should be like

There's nothing wrong with interacting with your children. If others, including me, find it irritating, that's our problem.

I agree. So many moody people in the world! Irritated people are often the most irritating to be honest.

We have a child in the family who has parents that talk to her at Blippi level. It drives me insane. An accurate description though 😂

One of my close neighbours does it too. I don't mind at all, the normal sounds of adults and children interacting, it's the volume and the over -enthusiasm that affects me like nails on a chalk-board.

I get you OP!

Don’t hate yourself for interacting in a way that suits your family. Leave these Moody Margarets to it!